Going to keep this thread now!

every body is different in recovery freda...should you choose that route then fair play to you ...i myself tinkered with the idea what if ???..but couldnt especially after reading "mickeys"/"fords" post on the overcoming prob gambling page...it gave me one big wake up call..like i say each to their own recoveries and if it works for you then so be it...best wishes..wp 😉

thanks wp,

I recommend to anyone past the initial quitting stage to read that thread. It is a stark reminder that even with 2 years bet free under your belt, this addiction is still just as rampant given half the chance.

I do often think about whether I would treat my recovery more seriously, if I had really gone nuts for years and years.

A lot of posters on this forum have lost jobs, partners, tens of k, even become homeless. I don't have anything of this degree in my past. It doesn't mean Im not capable of it, but I really do believe that this is a progressive illness. Had I not arrested it when I did, I would have found myself in exactly the same boat. Im sure of that.

However, because the most Ive spent in a day is around the £150 mark - still clearly compulsive behaviour, mind you - I don't have the fear, that comes with as mickey said 'wasting 20k in 20 minutes'.

Can anyone else relate to this? Its not a competition, and everyone's idea of a 'crazy spend' is different, but as long as I continue to work at recovery I can't see myself getting to that point. It would be too big a leap. I literally don't ever want to be in a position where I can get my hands on that kind of money. I think what Im getting at, is now I don't have my debit card, the most cash I ever have access to is £30. So Im not going to find myself in Mickeys position.

Is this flippant? or just realistic?

Hi Freda.. I also red those posts in opg..a stark reminder like you say.

The whole money lost and consequnces thing is all relatively. I have been through bankruptcy and been suicidal and generally wasted alot of time and opputunities through my gambling. But the pain and fear of those consequences passed with time, it had just taken a little longer perhaps than someone whose consequnces may not have been so severe. But either way the pain and fear recedes into history for all those who are trying to address gambling problems. We are all in the same boat. I am not fearful anymore I just don't gamble.

My guess is that you reached a point where you to had had enough of the consequnces otherwise you would unlikely to have arrived here and stuck around.

With the money thing gambling 20 k in 20 minutes for a billioniare maybe chicken feed whereas when i was on benefits (further reduced by paying a crisis loan back) and gambling £10 a week.. this had huge consequnces.. ie no money for food!

Seems to me like your continuing to work your recovery as it suits you. The debit card thing works well for you. Anyway thats my slightly rambling thoughts.. there a bit confused perhaps lost my train of thought a bit lol... happy days 🙂

Hi Freda

I totally agree with SA.Its not how much you lose its the compulsive behaviour.In my early days i only lost maybe £20 at a time and in the end it was maybe around £1000 on some days.But it was always everything i could get my hands on.I got better paid jobs as my life went on,but the quality of life got no bette.Well not for me anyway.Im sure my bookmakers got better though.So no you are not alone in thinking that way.You cannot afford however much you lose.infact used to lose sorry.You Freda like you say adressed your problem early.Well done.I wish i had.But hey its never too late eh.All the best Jeff.

Freda (K)

Great to hear from you again, and thanks for your confidence in me.

I like that one from you about not being the person that I don't want to be.

I won't ! for my own sake, but also because I want to show others on here that beating this gambling cr@P can be done.

Good to hear you are also sounding positive.

David

been good so far no betting for 5 days so far !

Day 71

am still doing good but just very tired. It has been a busy couple of weeks, and still no exchange on the flat. We keep getting palmed off by the solicitor every couple of days, and its getting a bit wearing (we were supposed to have exchanged 2 weeks ago) but, when I ask myself if any of this will matter to me in 6 months time - the answer is 'no'. Life will go on either way.

Its never been good for me to live in limbo. I had the same feeling when I was left waiting for months to get a start date for my job. Its just one of those things I don't do well with.

Still no betting - but its amazing how many thoughts Ive had about the lottery, just from playing it once! This further motivates me to keep it out of my life. My gambling brain does not need much encouragement to spring back into action.

Anyway, Im off to bed. Im just crazy-tired!

Day 74 - I will not gamble today.

Feeling a bit low today, but nothing too bad. I've learned to just wait for these feelings to pass, as they always do.

Hi Freda, just popping by to say hi, and well done for 74 days. I hope the " low " passes soon, I understand completely, I have days just like it, and like you I have huge frustrations within me when I have to wait for something, it eats away. I put it down to be out of control for that particular thing, not sure if that is the same for you. Any way carry on with the good work and catch up with you soonxxxx Maddie xxxxxx

Thanks Maddie 🙂

Well Im more upbeat today, which is great. Its just quite gloomy and cold where I am, and it sucks. Hard to put a spring in your step, when you are shivering!

I always have less energy in the autumn and winter. Just the way I am. We went for a walk yesterday, around the run down areas of our city. It was just so grim, all smashed windows, boarded up doors, and black net curtains. I consider myself quite worldly wise, but I was really shocked at how bad it has got in these areas. I said to hubby, just think - this is reality for some people, with no hope of getting out. Made me feel really lucky. It can be a hard, cruel world, so why would I want to go gambling away what little we have?

It renewed my determination. I would like to be in a position to help other people, some day. That will only happen if I don't gamble.

Day 75 - today I didn't gamble.

Hi Freda well done on day 75 on no gambling. Just read the last entry to your diary. Very true words about feeling lucky and the fact you are not gambling away what you have anymore! Keep it up on beating this addiction. All the best Blocked.

Thanks for your support freda...as much as i moan and groan i still have a roof over my head (albeit not what i would like it to be) ...however had i carried on gambling ????...a scary thought,dont think i could survive on the streets...just for today i will not gamble...WE CAN do this..thanks 🙂

Hi Freda.. doing just great by the looks of it. I relate to your thoughts about autumn and winter and having less energy.. lack of sunlight in part perhaps. Anyway thanks for your support.. S.A 🙂

Feeling more like my old self again today!

Was starting to feel anxious while at work, so was concerned it might become a problem. There was nearly an accident on our road today, but handled it calmly - a little girl span around in the road and ran the opposite way. Stupid div! Took 10 years off my life! 🙂

Anyways, today is Day 77 - 11 weeks clean.

Feeling good about that.

Freda

Good stuff from you. Congrats on 77 days for you. You are doing well. Big respect for you from me.

56 days for me tomorrow so happy about that.

Keep up the good work, I'm following you!

David