Going to keep this thread now!

Thanks guys,

Im ok really. Had a bit of a bad day at work on Friday, and actually got so frustrated and angry that I ended up feeling quite ill! My colleague is a lovely woman, but can be a bit domineering and bossy. She was just going a bit overboard on Friday, and I felt quite belittled.

However, its in the past! I managed to not lose my temper, and calmed down quite quickly once I got home.

Its my achilles heel when I feel people are not giving me the appropriate respect and treating me as if nothing I could say would be of any relevance. I don't really demand that much respect, you know, just speak to me as an equal really. Im a pretty reasonable person.

Anyway, Im glad I didn't lose my rag because overall she is a nice woman. Its rare that she is quite as controlling as she was being on Friday. Its not worth worrying about. I get the feeling that she is boss in her house, and is used to having the final say on things. Sometimes people do it without realising.

I haven't gambled now for over 8 weeks, and today is day 61.

The flat purchase is stalling over an issue to do with damage to another flat, that the previous owner did. Our solicitor is just making sure we will not be held liable for the repairs before we exchange. Its water damage, sufficient to cause a hole in a ceiling, so it sounds expensive!

Hopefully, it will be any day now. This is proving to be the most frustrating part of the process, as we can't get started with the moving preparations til we have exchanged.

However, Im just trying to do as much as possible in the meantime - such as making sure our paperwork is all in order, and making lists of companies we will need to notify when we move etc.

Feeling fairly optimistic, but would be lovely to have a date for moving.

Hi Freda,

Well done on your gambling free time and glad your feeling optimistic about the future. Frustration and anger always use to take me to the machines, so another big well done on not taking the edge off how you felt in that way.

Like ive red somewhere else recently.. compuslive gambling is not about money, it is about about not dealing effectively with negative emotion. I agree with that statement.

Anyway enjoy the rest of your weekend.. I hope you get a date for moving soon.. S.A

Thanks for the post freda..,you made my day,nearly P i s s ed myself laughing 😉 your positivity these days is shining through 🙂 we can do this 🙂

Hi Freda,sounds like your almost ready to complete on the Flat,that will be such an exciting time for you both!!!.Glad you are still steering clear of any gambling.

Seano.

Hi Freda its been a while since i was on here so catching up. Its great to see your gamble free all these weeks. Your really going for it! Always this kind of thing gives me hope and encourgement. Good luck with the flat and keep at it 1 day at a time. All the best Blocked.

Hi Freda

Day 63 then .Excellent .

I hope you get that date for moving soon.Its a stressfull time but a busy time .Which is good .Stay strong Jeff.

Hi Freda (K)

Lot's going on for you, but good to see you are in a positive mood.

Moving house can be a stressfull thing but you sound to be coping well and looking forward to it.

Looking forward to a virtual glass of something at the housewarming party.

Trust you are keeping safe and strong!

David

I very nearly gambled yesterday. I don't know if other people are like this, but it gets like a discussion in my mind where I have to talk myself out of it. At one point I had made the decision to go ahead and gamble, but managed to talk myself round.

I had managed to convince myself, after walking past an arcade and glancing inside, that a machine was going to pay out on the next spin. I know how mental that sounds! I saw the formation of the reels, and just felt like it looked ready to drop. Stupid isn't it?

I often used to form these theories when looking around the machines. I would feel drawn to one, based on very illogical logic. These theories were of course usually baloney, the bandits back in the day DID used to have an element of predictability, but these days it seems like they are programmed pretty randomly.

Anyway, glad I resisted but just goes to show that my gambling head can turn up out of the blue. Im glad I carry limited access to cash, because that is what ultimately swung it for me. Deep down, I think I knew I wanted a full on sesh! but that would have been impossible with the 2.30 in my pocket.

So today was day 63 and I did not gamble. 9 weeks in the bag!

999 is normally a cry for help and you very nearly had to but you never needed to so im popping up to say a big well done for kicking that major urge you had and topping up to 1000 posts....9 weeks my friend i hope your proud 😉

Hi Freda

I was too late to be 1000th poster on your diary, been eyeing up your diary count lol!

Anyway great work on the recovery front, 9 weeks great work!

High five to you, take care. ands

Hi Freda and well done on not gambling. You did the right thing by coming on here to write about it. I think its when ones thoughts are left unchecked to swim around and around our headspace that we come up with illogical conclusions ie that gambling is the answer. The machines are programmed to take the gamblers money pure and simply. You did not gamble you did great. Take care S.A

Freda (K)

Day 64 for you today, I'm sure.

You are doing well.

How's the move going? Hope all is going well.

Look forward to hearing from you once you are settled in.

David

day 68 i think...

In a way, gambling came and found me at the weekend. We were at a wedding, and there were lotto tickets in the favor bags. We ended up with 2 tickets, and decided it would be daft to throw them away. I bought 2 more lines myself - which I know isn't great - but I just thought, well we have tickets now anyway. I am totally aware that this is still the same gambling head talking, because I obviously wanted to 'up my chances' of winning something.

Anyway, Im not packing to go into the priory just yet, but what this experience has taught me, is that if we had actually won something it could have set me off again. So it wasn't clever.

However, £2 on the lottery is hardly a rampant binge. It has renewed my resolve to continue to avoid the lotto for the forseeable future. When I ask myself honestly, would I have spent that £2 if we hadn't been given tickets? gladly the answer is 'no'.

So Im happy with that. All you purists, can jog on! Im still on day 68 so there!

Hi Freda thanks for your message on my diary.

My opinion is your still 68 days bet free! Do not be hard on yourself about the tickets. And no I dont agree with cg - no matter what the case. Contradiction but they you go. For the record I used to always buy lottery tickets weekly 1 line. Even when I was wanting to quit gambling. My wife has always bought the occasional ticket so im ok with that. Well done on coming so far. Wishing you good things in your continued recovery. Blocked.

Hi Freda

Thanks for your post and kind words, your right with your post on my diary!

Day 69 for you and your doing great, hey if you ever do win the lottery dont forget me, lol! IMHO doing a few quid on the lottery is no biggy and there is no-way you are back on day1.

I have always enjoyed reading your diary/postings, you are the sweety of this forum..

take care Freda. ands xx