Going to keep this thread now!

Aw thanks Sabine 🙂

I had a dream last night that I had gambled and I was really disappointed that I had thrown it all away like that. Quite nice to wake up and realise it isn't so 🙂

Feeling ok. Day 39 today, six weeks after Monday!

Hi Freda,it's very good to see that things are going along nicely for you now:),........regarding

B3 machines,....they are the £500 jackpot machines £1 stake,currently they are pre-set to pay a jackpot every 5000 spins (not exactly every 5000th spin but a rolling average),the government are going to allow these to become

£2 a spin,with the jackpot remaining at £500 but occurring every 2500 spins:),this is to increase tax revenue:).Hope that makes sense:).

Seano.

Hi Freda and great stuff on the gambling free time 🙂

The job thing is tricky isn't it. As you know ive been in at the deep end this last couple of weeks with my new job.. however.. ive noticed that the last couple of days ive started to calm down and settle. I always struggle with the initial tranistion anxiety of anything "new". I think its the fear of failure and the self-confidence thing. I still am not sure whether this job will work out but I take the attitude of show up, show willing, do my best and see what happens. I think you will know in yourself when the time is right to try for something that stretches you more.

Gambling dreams are just that .. dreams.. nice to wake up with no damage done. Happy days.. S.A 🙂

^ weeks gambling free tomorrow Freda--really pleased for you.

Stumper x

thanks Sa seano and Stumper!

Well, day 42 here. If I'm honest, I could easily go and gamble today. Certain mindsets make it even more likely. I won't though.

Just feeling stuck in a rut, not unhappy but flat etc. etc. - I am mentally pushing away reality and rejecting it. Its too dull, too boring. Prime gambling mood if I remember right! So, I shan't leave the house with any money until it passes, as it always does.

It's normal to have these feelings. I do not have to gamble to deal with them. However, because I know I'm vulnerable today I will take extra care to keep myself safe.

HI

I have just read your last post, and I so can relate to what you have written. I am now on day 7 and the last two days I had those low feelings, and I actually from that worked out this is when I would typically give in to my addiction and go for a cheer up session! The sad thing is I would drive 2 hours to my nearest casino (self excluded from all local ones!!) or 1 hour to the nearest bookies (same as casinos self excluded from all local ones) just to sit in a room full of other addicts, and spmetimes spend upto 9 hours wastong money. I would do this and miss things at home, collecting kids from school etc etc. How and why would we want to do this ? I honestly think these down emotions will be with me forever, I just need to be strong enough to see them and react in a way that keeps me out of a place of gambling. Good luck and stay strong

And a HIGH FIVE to you toi freda,i may not have posted on your diary for a wee while but im still followin your progress .. stay strong,we can do this 🙂

thanks dave and wp

Today is day 43 and i will not gamble. feeling ok today.

Well done for staying strong f... keep going.. S.A 🙂

thanks sa

I dreamed I was gambling last night. With the usual mixed dream-emotions. I was enjoying it, but at the same time feeling s**t that I had thrown all the effort in recovery down the toilet.

Was just a dream, so no harm done - but I definitely find these dreams a potential trigger. They feel very real at the time - so it triggers cravings just as much as a lapse would.

However, I will take the positives from this - it has shown me how one little gamble would stir all those cravings up again, and reminded me it just isn't worth it.

Feeling a bit vulnerable and low today too. Nothing to get in a lather about, but just one of those days when you feel a bit poo. nothing of real concern to worry about, have fallen asleep a couple of times in the last week and missed my antidepressant meds at night, so this will not be helping but it won't kill me.

Hi Freda.. must say that i feel much the same today.. abit vulnerable and low and poo like lol. Ive got the day off today cos am working saturday but i havent really done anything constructive with it.. so far anyway. May have a little sleep this afternoon I think that stress is catching up with me.

Well done for continuing to stay clear of gambling.. S.A 🙂

Freda at least you did not fall asleep without taking your sleeping tablets. This morning I woke up feeling grumpy---its the last time that I have a sleep over at the 7 dwarfs house. Mind you, last night my wife demanded that I make mad passionate love to her across the table right after we finished our dinner---thats another restaurant that we cannot go back to!!!

Hope the above has cheered you up a bit.

All the best

Stumper x

Hiya Freda,

Hope your having a better day today 🙂 Stumpers post certainly give me a chuckle.

Love Del x

We all have our low days and I hope that you had a better day today.

The best thing about those gambling-related dreams is that as soon as we wake up, we find that they really did not happen.

Even if we 'won' during the dream, it would still have been a massive loss as that recovery journey would have been severely interrupted. And we all know what we would have done with those 'winnings'.

Have a great gamble-free weekend.

GT

Thank you for your support SA, Stumper, Delgirl and Gettingthere, 🙂

Im doing good, have just had a workout and according to the scales, I am managing to hold back the river a little! doesn't it get harder, the older you get 🙁

Anyways, just wanted to record an experience I had yesterday. Nothing to get my knickers in a knot about, but worth acknowledging..

I spent 50p on a quiz machine yesterday. I have always found these a grey area gambling-wise, but I ask myself - did I feel like I wanted 'another go'? YES. Exactly. I know what this was...it was my gambling brain trying to find a little window to sneak in through! the cheeky B*****r!

I wanted to play on it last Friday night and my husband said 'i don't think you should'. He would never tell me 'NO' , but I grudgingly agreed he was right. I guess I just shelved it for a week.

Yes this is just a tiny little incident, but if we learn how to notice these then we can nip it in the bud.