Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda.

Great post from you today.

I agree with you completely that it is nice to go through a month without constantly worrying about how one can possible survive until the next payday.

Roll on day 100 recovery buddy!

thanks for your posts curly and kay - they made me smile 🙂

ahh, lots of heartwarming waves from toddlers today 🙂

just another quickie to say still no gambling for me!

Day 89 I will not gamble today.

Just a note to come clean so to speak.

I gambled yesterday. Just 5 minutes or so, and lost £6.30

Was a stupid mistake, and I have taken steps to prevent it happening again.

I have accepted that I cannot go to a sunbed shop that is above an arcade. I thought I could manage it without gambling, and it is the cheapest place to tan, but sometimes the entrance is closed and you have to walk through the arcade.

Yesterday, I was walking back out, when I saw a jackpot line left on a 10p machine. To those of you who have dabbled in this way, you will understand that sometimes the jackpot line "holds", therefore you get the jackpot again. I hope Im not being too descriptive here, as would hate to trigger anyone. Well, that was too much to walk past for me yesterday. Of course the 10p went in (which I note is something, I could have put a £1 coin in then told myself i had to play the rest of the credits) and the jackpot did not hold, but I didn't walk away straight away. I played on for a few minutes. Still compulsive behaviour, still won a couple of quid and kept playing rather than walking straight out etc. etc.

Anyway, I don't think I would have gambled yesterday if that temptation hadn't been right in my eyeline. So I'm not going back there. The fact the next tanning place is slightly further to walk and slightly dearer (when im not triggered to gamble) are not good enough excuses to keep using this place.

Anyway, I made a stupid mistake and wanted to come clean on my diary but also move on.

Hi Freda,

Sorry to hear you had a little 'blip'.Don't beat yourself up though.

Haven't read your entire diary but noticed there are 1250 posts on there now - about 1247 when you haven't gambled and have been a huge inspiration to lots of people and probably 3 when you've had a gamble so that's a huge POSITIVE!

You've been through a lot but never given up that fight - I wish I had half your determination and positivity.

Know you'll start again - don't look back - you've come such a long way!

Take Care

Kay x

Hiya Freda,

Just catching up and sorry to hear about as Kay as put it 'a little blip'...cos thats all it is.

I know your fully committed to this...so I hope it isn't causing you any aggro. You've come a very long way!

Hugs Del xo

thanks girls 🙂

I'm fine actually, cos people make mistakes, Im still committed to my recovery, and I am doing very well I think!

I won't give up giving up. That 5 minutes was s**t, and my life has been much better since I gave up gambling so theres no comparison.

I'm learning all the time, and will get there in the end.

Good Woman 🙂

Glad your alright. As you've said to me 'I know a fighter when I see one'

So ditto

Del xo

I Freda.. thanks for your support. I feel a little more stable today. I will and am getting back on track.

By the way i'd of done exactly the same if i'd seen the jackpot line. Ive seen alot of things in arcades but never someone walking away from a jackpot line. Reminds me a bit of the tourists that use to wonder into the Leicester square aracde when i lived in London. They didnt have a clue what they were doing and would usually miss out on some sort of a win.

Anyway like you say, your doing just fine. Avoid going in any aracde fullstop. I will do the same. Warm regards.. S.A 🙂

Hi Freda

Just a quick note to say a heartfelt Thank you for all your lovely posts.

Sending love and hugs.

God Bless

Sabine

Another quick note from me. Thank you so very much for your kind donation on my Race for Life page. Bless you. I hope this post finds you well. I am proud to call you friend.

Thank you again

God Bless

Sabine xx

Just to say hi, hope you are well freda.

take care, ands xx

Hi Freda.

I just popped by to wish you well on your continued recovery. I wasn't aware until now that you had played the fruit machine last week but if that is the only thing you have done in the last 100 days then i think a high five is still in order!

Keep strong recovery buddy.

Thanks guys,

Curly that is sweet of you to say, sir. I am doing ok. Complete abstinence is the ideal, but someof us need to learn the hard way!

I am generally doing more positive things with my money these days, and its quite strange having money in the bank and being ahead on the mortgage!

Gambled £7 again yesterday, stupid, stupid div. I have just been spazzing out a bit, but Im determined to make this work.