Going to keep this thread now!

They really are idiots aren't they?!

But well done for persisting. Try contacting the Gambling Commision - they forwarded me to someone else when I had an issue with self excluding from an online casino.

Keep at it!

GT

Hi Freda,

Thanks for posting on my diary. Here is the number that you are after, hope it helps:

0121 230 6666

GT

Thanks GT,

have saved the number incase I need it in future, but managed to successfully self exclude today. Although, more red tape, I could only exclude for 6 months with the woman I saw - she said I would have to see the AREA manager to exclude for longer than that!

Well, its done for the time being, and if I want to exclude for longer, I can make an appointment well before the exclusion runs out to make sure the area manager is available when I need to renew. They know if they can get you to walk through the door at least once every six months, you might, just might give in to temptation and go on a binge. *****!

Feel proud of myself though.

And so you should be! Just remember that when you go back in there to self-exclude yourself for longer, avoid taking any money or cards with you and go straight to the counter without looking at any of the flashing lights willing you to throw more of your money away.

GT

Just an update to say I have had a lovely few days away with R and some of his family. Reminds you that there are good times to be had, and there are nice places to go and chill. My city is very grim these days. Lots of strung out people in tracksuits, acting like monkeys. There is a tension in the air, because a lot of people don't seem to give a hoot about social norms, and their behaviour can be very erratic and aggressive.

Today was day 23, am looking forward to celebrating 30 days next week. Am very proud of my self exclusions, was not easy to do. I'm done with being a loser and worrying about money. I want security and peace.

Feeling a bit low today. Just one of those things hopefully... I have good and bad days.

Think Im still recovering from the last month.

Just writing my thoughts down! it helps.

Well done You. That's what it's about. Recognising feelings and being able to write about them. I've been rubbish at that recently. Keep going girl. You're doing good. God Bless. x

Hi Freda... just been ccatching up with your diary. A big well done on the self-exclusions. I think your similar to me in that exclusion will work for you in that if you did go in you wouldn't want that tap on the shoulder... and that fact in itself would probably be enough to stop you going in even if a raging urge to gambling. Also like you i had to deal with all the nonsense of "only the manager can do it" and the "only for 6 months rubbish". Some gambling places try it on simply cos your a good income stream.

As for the work thing it sounds like you made a good decsion for you. It got me thinking when you said about having an extra few pounds in the bank is no currency at heavens gate and peace and serenity far more important than any money. As for me well am back in the thick of it work wise. Ive managed two weeks without losing the plot or being crippled with trapped nerve pain.. I await to see what next week brings.

Anyway wishing you well. I echo what Sabine has written. Thanks for your support.. S.A

Get in there gal . Give `um what for . Not including VAT . high five .

Feeling bit wobbly today. Tired of things being so hard. However, they are so no point getting annoyed about it, just need to rest when I realise it has tired me out.

Hi Freda

Thanks as always for posting on my diary.

Hope you feeling ok today, you have been through a lot, hope you got the rest you needed!

Take care freda. ands xx

Hello Freda,

I hope your having a chilled out time of things today, even though its a bit warm and feels as sticky as the sticky stuff off the back of a sticky stamp.. lol

Take care.. S.A 🙂

Having a better day today. Still not feeling great, didn't sleep much last night, but got a few things done and feeling calmer.

Am enjoying the book I've started reading, about a boy with aspergers, called the curious dog at night or something. It is really good. It's the simple things 😉

Hi my girl

I often think of you and wonder how you are doing. I usually send up a prayer, asking my Higher Power to look out for you and give you guidance.

You're a wonderful person. I know, us cg's don't like hearing compliments, but it is important to tell you this. Freda, it is ok to have up and down days, that is what "normal" people have. That is "life".

We are special. Because we are dealing with an addiction and we are scrutenising every move we make, ups and downs seem far worse than they really are, because we make it so in our heads.

Working through them is what we learn while in recovey..and then at some point the up and down rollercoaster become less and less. Instead it is like a trainride, nice and steady.... really nice...only in our heads that doen't feel right. We've had chaos for so long, we are uncomfortable with the steady ride. So our brains invent chaos, just so we can feel familiar feelings; feelings where we can say, yeah, I know you, I can handle you.

I believe once you reach that point, it is then that recovery becomes difficult. To learn to accept that the steady is what we really want. Accepting that that it is cool feeling to have.

Wishing you the ability to accept that a steady ride is fun.

Love and hugs

God Bless

Sabine

You are spot on there, Sabine.

I have had a chaotic life for years now. Always lurching from one disaster to the next.The steadiness is starting to emerge again now, and I hope I can simply accept it calmly.

It was a big deal for me to do the self exclusions, and it felt very right. I was not ready to close the book on my gambling life, when I first came here - although I was already getting close.

Im quite excited about how my life will go forward without all that self sabotage.

Today is day 30, and I will not gamble today.