HARMONY !

Morning Shiny,

Sorry for the delay in offering my support, I haven't read many diaries over the last few weeks. Hope you are feeling a bit better and don't worry, you're dealing with so much at the moment. Have a relaxing weekend, take care xxx

Sometimes a break away from here can be the tonic required.

hope your well and yes im still looking on from afar.

Thinking of you.

Best wishes.

W.P x

Shiny,

My dear lady I hope you have enjoyed your week off and look forward to reading a post on your diary tomorrow. I hope all is well.

Tomso.

Yo,

Firstly thank you one and all for your posts .

I have set aside some time over the weekend to catch up on all your threads and thank you personally .

I am doing well, no thoughts of gambling , think a week off work , the shop and dare I say gamcare , has done me the world of good . Back to work in a couple of days so enjoying the last of my break. Spent a lot of time working on the garden , which is not only my new addiction but also a massive labour of love . The solitude and the peace I get from it has gone a long way in helping me regaining the strength needed to cope with all that the world has put in my path and continues to challenge me with .

I believe there were many factors involved in my relapse , giving up smoking for one , ( the same thing happened when I tried to give up several years ago ) but I will preserve with it . Smoking about half what I was , topping up with electric f**s .

I also think that working in and moving back to the shop for that week was probs the biggest contributing factor . I am trying hard still to deal with this issue and made some progress on that front this week . But it a long hard slog , some way some how I will walk out of the shop close the door behind me and I promise you this will never look back .

I read on here from Joan I think about the presure cooker effect , think that was what happened and caused my relapse . The need to escape and switch off was just too intense . Pleased to say , once the dirty deed was done , self canceled and have not had a smidgen of an urge since .

But enough with the self analysis , and I truely have not spent one second beating myself up over it . I am an addict f*****k all I can do to stop that being the case , except try my best every day not to let it get the better of me .

Solitude , silence are the things that mend me , when I am broken so to speak .this week I have had both in abundance and feel energised because of it .

So that's were I am at ,

Take care everyone .

Laters

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Hi Shiny,

Glad to hear that you are back and doing well. Totally relate to your last post, got the t-shirt and all that!! ;0)

Stay strong hun

Ade xx

No words ..only to say....

And a 1 and a 1 and a 1,2,3 4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCtWkFbW0Us&sns=em

Shiny shiny bad times behind me ...shiny shiny ..Na Na Na Na xxx

Morning shiny

Fully relate to the pressure cooker I was exactly the same and when it was done all the urges went , all we can both try to do is not let it build up again admittedly easier said than done

Keep focussing on what u can deal with put the rest aside till u can , pleased u feel better for the break using this site and getting the balance right is always a tough one to call one I am always battling with

Jess still obsessed with big brother its ok for me I get involved with it for her to keep that bond goin , hope ur girls are doin ok with everything goin off

Take care

Castle2

Yo,

Following on from last nights post , I think I have replied to everyone but if not thank you to those of you who posted and your continued support .

Both smiler and winning post thank you there is security in knowing that there is someone on the side lines watching your back !

Ok today did not start well , my deluded husband is in the process of making some very poor decisions about the shop. Hopefully I have said enough that he will not give the landlord a piece of his mind . Which the only positive outcome will be my husband vents his anger and frustration, but getting the landlords back up has far reaching and expensive implications . I can not stop my hubby picking up the phone my only hope he will consider my words before he does and start to become far more realistic about the whole situation.

Need to cover 4 hrs in there this afternoon , will be ok.

4hrs I can do, coz I get to walk back out and return here ( dads house) once I have turned the closed sign on the front door 🙂

Dads doing ok, getting weaker daily but as each new challenge comes up, we find a solution and work with it . You know it amazes me , how he takes what's happening to him in his stride . He has tremulous courage , I am sure if it was me I would be wallowing in self pity . But no, all he wants at the moment is for the sun to shine so he can sit out in the garden for an hour or two a day . Funny really before he got sick, he never really used the garden now it has become such a focal point in coping with his illness and motivating him to do something every day .

Anyways that's me this morning , frustrated over the shop, but not so stressed that I need to throw away good money that I want to spend on creating raised lavender beds in my garden .

No need to chant just for today , today I choose not to gamble . Far better things to do with my money and my time !

Laters

Shiny xxxxxx

shiny

my friend thank you for finding the time to post on my thread, your words mean a great deal for that I thank you.

Your father is an example to us all.

life from a glass half full.

Shiny's Dad i salute you sir.

with honour and strength.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Mornin Shiny, always lovely to hear from you, even nicer to hear you're doing fine under the circumstances. Your gardening hobby sounds like a welcome blessing, being close to nature, I find, is the best escape/therapy there is.

Keep shining

Steve

Hi Shiny... I relate to the pressure cooker effect. A slow build up of tension of angst of worry of stress of any emotion you care to mention. It always finds an outlet somewhere doesn't it. Comes out sideways as gambling, that's how it was for me and on a daily basis for quite some years. But now it fades away to nothing as it is doing with your good self.

It sounds like you will get resolution and closure on your life issues as you describe them. A little time and patience and the pressure cooker won't be whistling quite so loudly.

Thanks for your support. Warm regards... S.A 🙂

Shiny,

I imagine you and your dad are like a couple of clones. Both strong fighters ready for whatever life throws at them.

Tomso.

Yo,

Thank guys .....

Work today , went ok, far toooooo many emails to go through , far toooooo many pointless action plans to be written, but on the whole not a bad day .

No thoughts of gambling , even with a couple of unexpected bills , dropping through the letter box .

Night Guys

Shiny xx

Yo,

I was thinking today bout courage . As compulsive gamblers we spend so much time berating our selves for being an addict . That we forgot to take a step back and take stock.

It takes a lot of courage to admit that you are an addict , that you are prowerless and do not have control over certain aspects of your life .

It takes a lot of courage to bare your mistakes to your nearest and dearest .

It takes a lot of courage to post in this site , and admit your failings to yourself and others .

It takes a lot of courage to come back when you have relapsed .

So tonight one and all I celebrate the fact that I am in the company of such courageous people . Irrespective if today is day one or 5000.

Sleep well and remember , today by not gambling you showed the courage needed to fight the addiction.

For that each and every one of us should be proud !

Shiny xxxxx