HARMONY !

Sending you love and strength.

Steve

Don't let it get to you shiny.

Think positive and all your excellent work on here.

You are 100% right,it NEVER goes away,I often have to fight it myself.

its not easy,

Thinking of you x.

Business as usual Shiny Hun...

The Good Ship GC open all hours ..Miss you and no pressure ..

Just a flyer to say Hi- ya .

R and D xx

Yo,

So how am I today ,

Been down the bank , sorted out my finances .

Know that I needed to do that to move on.

Struggling working in the shop this week , it's always been a tough one for me .

Think that and the fact my bank card got frauded last week was the straw that broke the camels back.

I am over it the relapse it happened . I do not count as most of you know , because I accept that it will always be there . And that will I get through the rest of my life gamble free , I will try that's all I can do .

The hardest thing I am finding to deal with , is here .

I do not feel ashamed or guilty . Just who the f****k am I to dish out advice to anyone .

This is something that comes up time and time again, after a blip in the road .

Sure it will pass , and if it doesn't well a few weeks without my waffling could only aid everyone's recovery lol

Need to end by saying ,

Just for today .

Shiny xxxxxx

so you relapsed Shiny..so what...we are all on different paths to a better life and we are all making progress. I gambled today but I dont think it has done my recovery any harm overall.

Im really not a fan of this day counting stuff - tried it a few times and feel it just adds pressure having to wake up and think 'just for today' and treat having a gamble like a great sin....

Glad you dont feel ashamed or guilty, why should you....

We will all get there in our own time and in our own way.

Those who abstain for hundreds of days, great, hats off to them, but if others gamble now and again but get progressively better thats fine too.

Shiny ..

"Who the f**k am I to give advice on here " ....hellooooo! ..your exactly the RIGHT person lovely lady.

The way I see it (maybe wrong ) is that folks who are serious in recovery don't want to hear all the plain sailing stuff all the time ...they want to hear how you dealt with it when the going got even tougher I should imagine , so don't ever think you should not be giving out the good stuff Ms Shiny xx

If it were me on the GC side I'd be waiting with bated breath to find out how to get back up again and back in the middle lane...I could only do that and get that help from you if you keep sharing your recovery and story ....the good ,bad and ugly days as you do xx

Its a given I gonna have a meltdown at some point in the future cos that's just the way it is ..but maybe folks would be interested how the likes of us on both sides of the forum go to work the next day deal with it.. ; > )

Shiny ..you are dealing with it ...it will be dealt with ...that's what counts more than anything !!!

Who knows if im saying the right things to you but it's the risk I'm taking so you know that you are still a superb example of grace and dignified recovering..unlike your Rottweiiler lil cyber sis ...

(((((S))))))

R and D xx

Ps ...guess what I'm trying to say is its how you get up again...

Ps ..holding that rope with you Shiny ..just read your post to me xx

Hi Shiny,

I have to agree with Rachel on this one. Who better to offer advice and support? Do we make the choice not to gamble because it gives us bragging rights about how many days we've racked up? No. We make the choice to abstain from gambling each day because we know the devistating effects gambling will have on our lives. And we know, because we have been there. Oh well enough said I suppose. Fraud?? My big fat red polka dotted as cot. That's right, ascot. 🙂 joanxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning Shiny ..

kettles going on soon....cuppa Joe time as Joan would say ..

Thinking of you ...

R and D xx

Hi shiny, hope things are getting better for you. You're not alone. Take care, be strong.

X

Yo,

Firstly thank you all xxxxxxx , for your messages of support . And yes girls I get your point .

Funny you should write that Steve , as today I feel very alone .Crazy I have a family who love me , some cracking mates , the support of this site , the Honarable MR B walking along beside me , but today in my stupid brain I feel myself isolating myself from the rest of the world . This I suppose is my way of licking my wounds .

I finish up here tomorrow , and move back home . It's been a bigger struggle than ever before for two reasons one that my heart is not in it ( the shop) and all I want to do walk away from it , and the second is the renching feeling that I should be with my dad , instead of listening to everyone's view the Euro lottery .

I am not getting any urges , gambling is the last thing on my mind , but I am worn out . Running backwards and forwards this week from here to dads has drained me compleatly.

But there is a shining light on the horizon , I have next week off . Not coming back to the shop till Friday .

Will spend the week with dad, on working on my garden which feels me with such a sense of peace .

It's my intention to put last weeks relapse or lapse out of my mind . And spend the week focusing on dads and mine well being . So I am logging off for a week .

Will catch up next Friday when I am sure I will be in a much better place mentally and physically .

Till then , I will take it a day at a time . As for you lot be carefull out there!

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Shiny,

Sorry I haven't posted before now. I have taken a sabbatical from my diary but read your recent posts and wanted to offer my support just as you were always there to offer me kind words.

In my head, you are the strongest woman I don't know if that makes sense. You do so much for everyone else and have so many responsibilities yet remain selfless at al times. You cannot be hard on yourself for seeking an escape. Yes, we know it is wrong and must always seek perfection but we are only human.

I hope you recover well and quickly.

Tomso.

Hi Shiny

Do you have any idea what triggered your relapse? If you do identify it just keep your eye on the ball in the coming few weeks! There is no right or wrong in recovery it is what it is! Recovery, some good some strong some not so! As long as we areprepared to keep working at it we are in recovery and on our chosen path! TAke care as always and put you first!

Hi shiny

Not sure if I've got the right end of the stick here but guessing that you knew you would have to go back at some point and you were dreading it after having been away and free ...

Forgive me for not getting it but I thought you had gone to live with your dad permanently and were commuting back to the shop...

if this is the case then it's truly understandable why you want to isolate yourself as its going to take Herculean effort on your part to keep it together and be detached whilst being in this compromising position....

Not wanting to trivialise your little slip but under these circumstances most folks would be reaching for an escape ..

Always reading

R and D xx

Shiny.

'sometimes you want to go where every body knows your name, where troubles are all the same'

Don't forget there is always a stool there, a shake on the bar.

One thing.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Duncs stepping forward never back.