Hope

Hi SA,

Its hard when you are trying to get away from the only kind of work that is in abundance 🙁

I know you must have mixed feelings about it. It doesn't have to be long term, remember you are doing your computer course and trying to move away from care work. It will happen for you if you persist mate.

Take care,

and even though its not the role you most wanted, congratulations is still in order! high five!!!!

f x

Thanks Freda.. 🙂

.. I decided to edit this post. I intend to work on being positive.. happy days.. S.A

Well done on getting the job- even if it's not what you want to do in the long term. It's not easy to change your profession- believe me I know! But sometimes just starting somewhere new can give you a boost- meeting new people, daily structure etc...Hope it goes well for you!

Congratulations on the job SA, work at it, use it as another notch of experience for your career - you know the saying its easier to get a job when you are already in one.

Your career path may take a suprisingly different direction than the one you thought you would tread, I know mine has.

Also, the most important thing, well done on staying bet free - let this be a new start SA

Take Care

Blues

good stuff S.A.

keep it up, well done

dan

Hiya SA,

Congrats on the job 🙂 Look forward to hearing how it goes for you.

Del xo

Hi SA, how's that injury? Any progress. I've got a suggestion for you. Paul mckeena has just brought a new book out....it's called 'how to be happy'. It cost 11 pounds but it may be worth a read. Just a suggestion...it may help. All the best fella. Russ

Thanks folks.. 🙂

My injury is strange. It seems to be worse in the mornings and when I am cold. It feels tendony or like a trapped nerve or something. Its taking such a long time to sort itself out though in reality its only been about 5 weeks.. which in the great scheme of things aint that long.

re the job.. I went down and gave them all the info they needed.. and then when they have completed their checks I will get a start date. Its good in the sense that it gives structure back to my week and its near home and also the self-esteem of having "a job".

here's the tough bit to admit. Met friend on Tuesday, drank beer, lots of, gambled, felt the usual let down feelings (shame, worry over money lost, self-esteem in toliet).. but here I am now fighting back (yet again).. just need to acknowledge my gambling episode.. otherwise i'd be living a lie to you guys.

To anybody new who has stumbled across this mamouth diary I would say this. You gotta maintain your guard at all times otherwise you end up like me... going for long periods of time without gambling.. and then gambling again like the in between times had never happened. And trust me.. when you gamble again after youve been off it for sometime.. its just like it was before.

To those who know me.. thanks for your support as always, sorry if my commentts dissapoint or frustrate anybody. This time i really am laying this diary to rest. Its not really a dairy for page one anymore. I will start a new dairy in due course because it does help... but I need to be here a litte less. I am and have become addicted to spending time on the internet and with recovery sites and that in istelf if done to excess is not healthy.

It crosses my mind that most people who maintian recovery for many years do so because they settle back into a happy family life.. a partner.. varied social outlets. this is my challenge for the future.. for so long as i maintain a relatively solitary lifestyle I will always be vulnerable to gambling no matter how much self-knowledge and undertsanding of recovery that I have.

Thanks for listening... I keep working at it. S.A puts his diary down.

Very best wishes to you SA,i sincerely hope you enjoy your new job and find the right "balance" in life to move on in every way:).

Seano.

All the best to the biggest sweet heart 🙂

Take comfort from the knowledge that you probably sussed that the 'episode' was an emotional reaction. A reaction to frustration, and feeling trapped in the same 'box'. In that way, at least it wasn't random and inexplicable.

Thanks for your support during another mini meltdown from yours truly yesterday. Im re-um-solidified again now. Well near enough 😉

Take care,

f x

I fully respect your decision to close down your diary as you seem to be entering a new and exciting phase in your life with this new job that you have coming up.

Just in case we don't 'meet' again, may I take this opportunity to wish you all the very, very BEST in your gamble free life and that your running hobby is able to start again. Do post in my diary if you do decide to start a new diary as I really would love to hear about your first marathon!

All the very best, from your virtual mate,

Getting There 🙂

Hiya SA,

Fully undestand what your doing and I wish you the very best. I look forward to hearing of the new chapter in your life. Onwards and Upwards!

Big Hug

Del xo

Sa--understand you saying you want to close your diary mate but do you think now is the right time as you have just admitted to a relapse. The diary helps you stay off gambling and also to reassess when you need to after a slip--I learned the hard way between Sept and Dec last year--before then no gambling for 9 months-stop posting and strauight back to it-the diary helps although the overall thing is that we need to want to stop but without the diary we can gamble without guilt because only we know about it. If we post truthfully we feel we are letting others down as well as ourselves if we post.

I wish you well mate whatever you decide to do.

Stumper

Hi S.A

Like others, just wanted to Thank-you for all your support since i joined this site and wish you all the very best in the coming weeks with your job and your life in general.

We are all here for you if you ever need to vent and always will be.

Keep safe my friend..

LB

Hi all...

.... return to rock bottom. I never thought i'd end up back here again.... all monies gambled.. became suicidal... wanted to die. Spent time contemplating the end. I got really scared thinking about it and phoned samaritans.. lovely lady listened and pulled me round. Phoned my sister.. opened up many tears. My other sister phoned.. tears. My mum phones.. more tears. Maybe I will go home to live... gut feeling says it makes sense... family is what matters when all is said and done.. isn't that right?

So thats where am at folks.. am not going to do anything silly.. S.A