Hope

Hi SA

Okay m8 now show these newcomers what happens next.Get yourself back on track m8.You know as well as anyone those long periods still count.They are long gamblfree periods and during that time you have less stress and a bit more money.You differ from me kid.I have no doubt how much a slip bothers you but i know equally you will now try even harder,where as i may give in all together.Different people trying to achieve the same dream.

Come on m8 im willing you on.All the best Jeff.

Hello to my cyber buddies. I love you all.. in a firm handshake pat on the back sort of way.. 🙂

An update

Ive gone from suicidal despair (dead man walking) to ok ish, kind of on a level, fighting back, more f*****g determined than ever!!... all within the space of 2 days.

I start work Saturday with a training course (subject to CRB clearance)... and I don't think ive committed any crimes over the years which is surprisingly really given the addiction I have. If only they new how timely this job offer has come. I shall commit to the job with bags of enthusiasm.

I am of course in a dire financial position and yet I am not especailly worried about money. I will find my way through. There is so much more to life than money... like friendship and the unconditional love from my family.

I am so very grateful and humbled by the heartfelt support you have all shown to me in my hour of need. You have helped to give me the strength to re-commit to my recovery and not descend into the abyss anymore than i already have.. which would surely have been.. prison, insanity or death.. and given my personality the most likely outcome would have been the latter. I will in due course reply to you all individually.

Grant me the serneity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference. Today i will not gamble. Thanks for listening.. S.A 🙂

I'm really pleased to read that last post SA,glad your feeling more settled and looking forward to starting your new job:),you are fully aware of the things you need to do re the addiction,and i'm 100% certain you will regain the control in your life.

Seano.

Glad to see that you have come through those dark couple of days. I wish you all the best for your new job on Saturday!

As the spring approaches, each day brings more light than the day before. By the sounds of your latest post you are well on the way out from your own winter of despair and ready to welcome in the light. Good look with the training course.

Stumper

Thanks for posting, mate and keep us posted on how it goes on Saturday. Lots of luck and so glad that you are feeling better.

Onwards and upwards now!

GT

You can't keep a good man down for long! 😉

Glad things are starting to feel manageable.

Take care,

f x

well said freda.....best wishes for saturday,odaat my friend and itll all fit into shape like a jigsaw..

Hi S.A

Good to read that things with you are so much better than a few days ago..

Back in Oct i found myself in that very dark place...Once again had blown the lot, everything gone, in serious financial trouble, drunk as a s***k, saw no way back and ended up on the south coast..

Thankfully after some time and lots of thinking i came to my senses or bottled it, whatever you want to call it and here i am today..

I guess what i'm trying to say is that times a great healer and after a few days pass, then a week and then a month and so on we begin to see things change and we get to that stage of thinking that no matter how bad things have got they can all be sorted out as you know only too well..That is something that at least that little trip of mine taught me..

We get knocked down...then we get up again and we come back stronger and

I know that you will come back a whole lot stronger from this mate..

Fantastic news about your job training starting this weekend, something new and different for you to focus on and i look forward to following your progress with it..

Keep at it S.A

Best wishes as always

Dear gambling Addiction,

Goodbye and good riddance I don't want nothing to do with you anymore. I am a happier human being without the likes of you. Your no friend of mine. Your my history and not my future. The end.

Good post SA, summing up your feelings for today. Remember those low points when that b'strd tries to convince you again mate.

You know the signs by now mate, and need to try really hard. Its not about the money, in fact, if you would have won life changing amounts last week, you would be slowly but SURELY giving it all back, albeit over a longer period.

No, its not for us i'm afraid SA, lets leave the gambling to the people who can enjoy it for what it is

Take Care

Blues

SA,

I always keep an eye on your diary and I have ‘shared’ your journey since I joined these boards. Thanks for posting on my diary. Thanks for posting the summary of your journey on your original post too. It definitely puts everything in context. I don’t suppose you minding if I share my views and offer some opinion?

Firstly, I totally empathise with your current situation and in the context of your gambling history, I think you are doing fantastically well. It may not seem like it to you right now, but the amount of time that you have been gambling-free is tremendous. Whilst you were in a very dark place last weekend, you sound determined as ever to kick this addiction and to make things better. That takes real strength.

Being a carer by trade must be tough. I know little/nothing about that line of work but I’m told that it is very difficult, very stressful and taxing on the mind and body. Combining that with gambling during any available time must have had a massive snowballing effect in terms of stress, anger, self-loathing etc…Never having time to relax and do something for you. Being a CG myself, I know plenty about that stress and self loathing. Personally I found having to hide it all and lie to my wife about it made things tough and I got very down about it all in the middle of last year. There appeared no way out of it, but there always is. I’m also a bit of a slow coach emotionally sometimes but I’ve come to realise that gambling has ruined my life in many ways since I was a kid, I just didn’t realise that gambling was the cause of it. I got used to the stress, worry, hassle and lying. It became the norm whilst other social things suffered without me realising. Sorry, going off on a mini-tangent…. What I’m trying to say is please try to stop giving yourself a hard time. It is not warranted and it’s not fair on you. You are a very generous person who devotes their life to others (on this diary forum and in work). You are obviously a clever person too.

I think I can understand how you are feeling a bit iffy about doing volunteer work starting on Saturday but S.A., it is all about perspective in my opinion. It will get you interacting with people. You are an expert in this field. You are the person who puts smiles on peoples faces although you probably don’t always get thanked for it. I think that you should realise your expertise here and even if your confidence is a bit low in yourself, realise that others have confidence in you. A positive perspective, even if you have to force yourself to do it initially, is infectious. Apologies S.A. if you think I am talking out of my hat because I am in no way qualified in this regard.. as I said earlier, I’m emotionally often a block of wood 🙂 Dust yourself off, dress well and do your stuff. When you get home, enjoy the peace and quiet and a nice cuppa. The other stuff you want will fall into place because positivity is infectious.

I really do think you are a wonderful person, I only wish you would start realising that for yourself.

Brian

Hi SA

Thanks for the post on my diary.

I haven't known you long - but I have read through most of your diary...and it makes me wish I had come here sooner.

I would like to echo Brian's thoughts and well-wishing.

You're a champ.

Matt

Hi champ!

Many thanks for your positive post on my diary. Loved your letter to the gambling industry.

I am now just about to do something that I have never done in my life.

And that is to...

...write a book!

Here it is...

GAMBLING INDUSTRY

THE END

Hey, that was easy! Hope you enjoyed reading it and please recommend it to others if you did...!!!!

Enjoy your evening.

GT

Hi SA

Thanks for taking the time to post on my diary, I know that you've been going through it recently. But you seem to be fighting your way back!

In some ways I think that it's important for you to remember this period-nothing is that bad that it you can't get through the other side and you have proved that you can get there. I also think that every time we use our own resolve and resources to get through a spell like that, it makes us stronger and we learn something about ourselves each time.

Keep it up and stay safe!