Hope

Thanks guys :-).. and ive set aside some time to read your book Gt 😉

A few thoughts on recent events. Cues and triggers.

My Cues to relapse... unemployment, time on hands, money worries, the weather, unable to run due to injury, no gym alternative due to canceled membership, started to cut myself off from other people, depression.

My triggers to relapse... alcohol, Alcohol, ALCOHOL !!

IF i hadn't of made the decision to have a big drink up with an old accquantance then... anyway.. there we go.. what is done is done.

On a positive some good may have come from all of this. I feel as if some of the barriers between me and my family have been broken down.. now thats gotta be a good thing.

Onwards and upwards.. S.A 🙂

Happy to hear you more positive SA and loved the recep at the beginning and your letter to gambling. Good to hear some of your family barriers have come down as they can help you tremendously and I'm sure you can help them understand a little of what goes on inside us.

Good luck

Deeds

glad to read of you getting over that troublesome day s.a mate and that your family are there for you....odaat my friend thats all we need 😉

Sounds good to me, onwards and upwards. And having those barriers between you and your family reduced can only be a very good thing.

Don't forget to set aside some more time this weekend to read that book. 🙂

GT

Just want to wish you good luck for tomorrow flowerpot. Write and tell us how it went when you are feeling like posting.

Take care,

f x

Hope all goes well for you tomorrow SA.

Seano.

Hi mate,

Thanks for your post on my diary.

Just a quick post to say that I hope that today went well. I meant to post last night to say that I hope that you did not set too high an expectation as to how you wanted today to go. I always find that the lower the expectation I set, the better things turn out to be.

Although my sub 2 hour time for March still seems a little high to me at the moment. However sub 2 hours sounds a lot better than sub 2:05 doesn't it?! Glad that you managed to get a run in, take it easy and just enjoy running for the sake of it. That is what I intend to do after March.

Keep us posted.

GT

Morming SA only just caught up with the diaries as tbh I don't post much these days,I reckon I am not very interesting these days cos my posts are generally positive without any drama's lol. I am boring 🙂

Sorry about the relapse but loving your response especially the summary at the beginning of your thread.

Just wanted to add my support and thanks again for yours over the years,

take care

love

W xx

Thanks folks 🙂

Well my first day at work was control and restraint training with a practical and written test. I don't know whether ive passed or not. I was a stress head but not a total stress head. It was quite an introduction and clearly not a typical working day. Ive now met one person (besides the manager) who works where i will be working. He seemed like a down to earth chap and seemed friendly. From what i overheard there is a heavy drinking culture with the staff

I think the first real test will come Monday when i see what a typical day will be like. I think the plan is for me to be the driver of the mini-bus. A confidence issue for me to overcome there.. and also i just don't know how challenging the challenging behaviour from the clients will be (and will i cope) and whether the other staff will accept me as a part of the set up. Clearly i have much to ponder as i will need to sign off next week or not if I think its not for me.

It all feels stressy at this moment in time but then it always does when you first start a job doesn't it. Am off out tonight so that should help to distract myself and not worry too much about stuff.. though i am stressed at this moment in time. No gambling problems.. S.A

What if..? Will it be..? I hope it..? I'm no expert but you need to let Monday look after itself when it comes. Read through most of your diary and at one stage I thought you had this thing beaten. Hope you didn't mind me posting on your diary.

Good luck Monday!!

Hi Smiler.. post away by all means.. I need all the support I can get at the moment and yes your right.. Monday will take care of itself.. what will be will be.

I had a good night out last night at friends for dinner and drinks and chat. Had to much to drink but I new i was safe from gambling as I was in company the whole time right up to being dropped off at my front door at 3 a.m.

Today I am of course a bit worse for where and anxiety is high. Am going out for a walk in a bit (with no money on me) so that will help am sure.

Everything is very much one day at a time at the moment. It feels like life on the edge at times but thats only to be expected given what i have done to myself through gambling. I am feeling vulnerable and here i am going to support other vulnerable adults as part of a team though. I think on balance better in a job than not in a job.. see what tomorrow brings. Whoever said life was easy?

I make sure i phone my family everyday. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Hi SA

You have all the tools for a succesful recovery one day at a time. Not for me to give advice but maybe if you told your new colleugues from the word go that you are a CG then you have extra people watching out for you. If you harbour a lie it festers away!! Let me know how Monday goes once it's gone!

Hi S.A.

Thanks so much for your post. This is exactly the advice I needed where I could go and get someone to write on my behalf.

I did it first time round to stay off gambling for a number of years. Second time around I will even fight more for it. I am now past this feeling of guilt, disappointment and fear. This morning felt sick like a dog. Finally went through my bags and next step is to look into im incomings and outgoings. I try to sort out as much as I can today in order to be prepared and get help from the links you have suggested if I need them should I phase problems with one of the creditors.

Thanks for your support. I will check in another time to see where you are in your recovery and hope you understand that at the moment I need to concentrate on my life first.

Jojo x

Hi SA,

just think - you can try the job, see how you feel about it and still go back on the sick. Nothing to lose as long as you feel confident about walking away if you need to.

You never know - you could end up loving it! Sometimes we forget to apply the same logic to our everyday activities that we do to recovery - ODAAT.

All the bast, Take care,

f x

Hi SA,

You are doing great mate ODAAT, you know the drill, lets add 2011 to your years of abstinance - Time stands still for no man.

Hope the new job went ok, let us know how you found your first day

Take care

Blues