Hope

Hi sa

Sorry to read about your slip just wanted to pop by and offer some virtual support, people on here never cease to amaze me with there honesty and strength and you are one of those. I see you have done the beating up of yourself already and we are not here to do that just to listen and to nod because we are also compulsive gamblers.

Today you know more about yourself and this addiction that you did yesterday and believe it or not that makes you stronger.

Keep going sa, keep posting you are heading in the right direction.

Take care

Blondie

Thankyou friends. I'd be lost without this place.

Ive just had a run. It was just what i needed but i also cut it short. Clearly the stress ive put myself under has affected me physically but thats fine... 45 minutes steady jog has lifted my spirits.

When looking back over the last 5 years, running is the one thing that has shown steady if unspectacular progress. Its been a case of 2 steps forward and one step back (injury etc) but then 2 steps forward again and then another step forward. Ive been very consistent am also slowly slowly loosing a bit of weight around my middle (as all men know this is the place that excess calories appear first). I think in another 5 years or so I will reach my physical peak and my distance running goals. There's no reason to suggest that i won't. I enjoy it too much.

Even with the gambling (if looked at over a longer time scale say 15 years ago when i first walked into that amusement arcade outside Victoria station) progress has been made. Its been much more volatile with many troughs but on balance I am going in the right direction. No longer do i gamble everyday. My gambling events are few and far between (mostly). I havent been in rent arrears for years. I havent taken active steps to end my life for many years and importantly I have experinced periods of time when ive felt ok and things have been ticking along nicely.

So yes Blondie... for the most part heading in the right direction. Right off to post in your diaries folks.. you have been warned 😉

sorry to hear bout your slip buddy 🙁 head up u can do it.

Yo,

Sometimes when it goes belly up , we are so full of regret we forget to take a look back to see how far we have come .

Today you have done it , this was NOT down the snake back 46 squares back to the start . It was down the snake a couple of squares along . Ok so you have the ladder to climb , but you will I know you will .

I hope you sleep well tonight , no more regrets .

Shiny xxxxxxx

I have a great idea for a new business. A shop with nothing in it but a few lights that you can turn on and off with sounds. You walk up to the counter and hand over your money and are allowed a set amount of time in the shop based on how much you hand over. You turn the lights on and off and experience the total experience. Once your time limit has been reached you leave.

Anyone here want to invest in my new venture? Last time I checked the competition were making hundreds of millions doing exactly the same thing. I think this might just work.

Hi Buddy,

I agree with everyone else that it takes great strength of character to come back here after a slip. I hope in the coming days you can glean some positives. I also find running a good distraction and hopefully you will continue throwing yourself into that.

I notice you signed up to a New Year thread. I don't think that is actually running but if it helps you remain focused you are more than welcome to join the xmas thread I started a few weeks ago. It runs until New Years Eve and there are some real inspirational members part of it. It's not a recruitment drive lol just thought if I could help even in the tiniest way it would be something.

Flagg

Sorry to hear of your slip. Must be something in the water as I've done the same. Feels terrible but that's addiction I suppose. Never easy. I'm glad you've drawn a line under it so fast and got back on here. You've come a long way over the years and it may feel like starting again but your far from square one. I know you will regain your strength quickly and you can put this behind you. All the best SA, you deserve it.

Thankyou you lovely people. I will reply to you on your diaries in the near future.

Am on a bit of a high just now. I went to a run club with some collegues from work.. one of whom is in his twenties and a former fitness instructor. Don't tell anybody but i beat him! Shhh. he he he 🙂 Is good to be back to running in a club and am glad to be able to say something positive in my diary.

Today I have not gambled. Now thats a good thing. Thanks for listening.. S.A 🙂

That's better to read s.a

You keep doing what you do best,running and posting your thoughts down on here and you'll soon distance yourself again.

odaat but im setting you a target of beating your 1018 days. It was a target that inspired me and can do yourself.

Onwards with the fight.

Best wishes.

W.P

Hi SA

its good when you have a period of reflection as you said in your previous post and writing yourr thoughts is almost like a living document of your recovery that you can refer back to as memory can selectively edit...

Just to share as you were saying about drink lowering your defences..my ex's drinking always resulted in taking higher risks with gambling and would chase losses more and not give in .He was a regular 10 cans a night carling man..topped off with pizza with the hottest chillis known to man.

In the end I noticed a pattern of almost uppers and downers...the drink was the initial upper and dutch courage which then triggered his gambing to take higher risks...the hot chillis give him an endorphin rush which acted as pain relief to combat losses and then the depression would kick in as it all wore off usually by lunchtime the next day when the alcohol had left his system then the whole cycle would start again when he came home.

I have no idea if he is still living like this SA but what I do know is that you are not doing that every day and that is something to be proud of.

The occasional slip you have had even though it has knocked you pales into insignificance as you always get back on the path and work at it by being honest and sharing your thoughts on here.

Keep on my friend....you are doing fantastic and everyone on here really is behind you and yourr recovery cos you deserve it.

R and D xx

Hi SA

Thanks for your post and I do know what you mean by welcome back, because if we are not posting on here, we could be 'elsewhere'!

Hope you are getting back on an even keel after your slip, because thats all it was, a slip. Lets face this head on and not walk in these lonely, dark empty rooms handing money over for no reward. I have all my blocks in place, am posting on here and attending meetings so at least I can't say I haven't tried! You take care of yourself SA and keep up that running, might be able to compete with the Kenyans soon lol!

Take Care

Blues

Hey SA,

Great stuff on that natural high : )

Just dropping by to say, you know, "yo!"

Take care,

f x

Thanks for support everyone. Day 4

Interesting what you say about alcohol Dotty and how it inter-plays with gambling and food and then with sleep patterns and moods and general levels of well-being etc etc.

With me am certainly not a 10 cans of lager a night man, in fact i often go for weeks without drinking at all. I am a social drinker only, I never or almost never drink alone at home. But when i do have a drink I tend to drink quite alot and then the inter-play with everything else kicks in and my body and soul becomes out of kilter and quickly.

Anyway no gambling or thoughts of gambling today. My gambling relapse finished at about 2.30 a.m last Sunday so today is my 4th completely gambling free day. As wp suggested am going to meet the challenge of reaching my previous personal best of 1018 days and then go beyond.. a day at a time of course! Thanks for listening folks... S.A 🙂

Good luck mate,am the same with having a drink out with mate it makes me think its ok to bet because am drunk! I jst take enough out for the nite now as when I take my card there is only 1 answer. Take care mate 1day at a time we will beat these thieving b******s 😉

Scottyboy

Thanks for the support mate. Your right a day at a time that's the way. Understand what you mean when you say it's like self harming. We both do something we know will cause us pain and misery but at times we still can't stop - crazy! Anyway take care mate. Beware the drink and beware the slots. Keep it going, onwards to day 1018 - you've done it before so do it again.