Hope

Well done mate. You're doing great. I've also started running and you can't beat socialising. Have a great weekend. All the best

Hi SA

Its a remarkable achievement 5 years with ur diary experiencing the ups and downs goin through all the emotions that life brings us , it really inspires me to keep my own diary goin as even after a year I still struggle to find a good balance , what I av learned is each recovery is different and no one judges

U av helped so many others over the years and that is something to be so proud bout esp as u continued to do so and thats what exactly makes this site work

For five years is a massive achievement and a true testament to ur own recovery and others

I applaud u

Castle2

Yo,

Like you said revolving door , so yep I am back . Not under a gambling cloud , just needed to add this site to my armoury , as life was a bit rough.

Good to see you still going strong , hope you enjoy your couple of nights out .

Shiny xxxxxx

Day 132 ... thanks for the support folks 🙂

Am having a good day. I was down the gym for 8.30. I did a bit of interval training, fast slow fast slow type stuff. Running at a steady pace on tread mill gets a bit tedious so interval training in gym is the way to go with long steady runs in the great outdoors.

Tomorrow I plan to jog into Birmingham and back the AND back being the new bit. I reckon more than 22 miles in total. This will be the longest training run iv'e ever done if I manage it. Am gonna follow the bus route just in case the cold and wind gets the better of me.

Am spose to be going to see some live music tonight and herin lies the problem... alcohol! Can I stop myself having a beer when all around are big drinkers. I canny run if am nursing any sort of hangover. Whats more important to me just now.. running 22 miles or drinking beer and having a laugh?? Can I have a laugh without having a beer?? Can I stand in a crowded bar listening to music and have a good time??

To be honest I want to go to bed at 9.30 and feel fresh for the morning but then I feel the pressure to "go out". I am a boring person lol Internal dilemma, shall I shant I?? I dunno what I want to do.

A friend has just phoned. He's got me doing detective work. He thinks his girlfriend is seeing someone else... he might be right. The moral of the story is never put stuff on facebook that your not happy for the whole world to see.

Anyway that's me folks. No gambling problems. Cheers for now.... S.A 🙂

I says to my work mate that am not going out and I explained why. I had a two word reply saying "ok mate" and now I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty and how do I deal with it??

Yo,

Thanks for the post , always good to hear from you !

As for the guilt let it go mate , I have spent the last 25 years doing what others wanted to keep them happy .

At to be honest the expensive of myself .

If you do not feel like going then its ok not to.

If you feel like going another day ask him, if he says no, well maybe he did not feel like it that night .

It's ok to put yourself first . Plus you may or may not of had a good time , but if it starts of a negative if you make yourself go when you do not want to. It's not the bestest start to a night out .

Those are my thoughts , but then what do I know lol

Loose the guilt , cos decision made , and if you don't it will only spoil your mood tonight .

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

SA

my friend shiny said it all fella. i do agree through guilt and shame we spent too long doing what we thought others wanted, why?? to punish our shortfalls, our mistakes.

well you took charge of your life again. you call the shots!!

do want suits you, you know what ultimately works.

if 22 miles is your soul food then eat it up.

you have i feel learnt to enjoy recovery and life through it, plenty of it on offer, keep taking my friend you earnt it.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 133 with not a penny gambled.

Thank you both.

Well yes, the longest training run iv'e ever done. I didn't quite manage to get all the way to Birmingham AND back but it wasn't far off. At 3 hours and 25 mins of steady running I reached an unavoidable hill on the final stretch to home, at which point my legs said... "walk you nutter!!"... so walk I did.

Now lets say I averaged out at roughly 9.5 minute miles then that would mean I did 21.57 miles. Now its just possible I was doing a bit faster than that so it was possible that I did do 22 plus miles. I guess I need to invest in a gadget so I can be accurate but either way am very pleased. I feel tired but ok and injury free.

Must admit though that life beyond 3 hours 15 was very hard. I am reminded of how gruelling the closing miles of the marathon are especially for mere mortals like myself. I was getting to that point where i'd rather be taken to the nearest vets and put down than carry on. 😉

Anyway different topic. I did go out last night. The work mate that I thought was going did not show cos apparently he'd got wrecked (beer!)after the football and crashed out. I stayed only 30 mins as whilst the Elvis tribute was good the pub was just full of very drunk people.

Another work friend was their but she was outside with her sister smoking most of the time. I soon got fed up just standing their with beer so I upped and did one. Only drank half the beer. The earlier feelings of guilt was all in my head borne of ruminating on stuff too much.

Anyway that's me. Thanks for listening as always... S.A 🙂

Day 134

My legs are killing me. Apparently its not the lactic acid that's causing my thigh mussels to ache like crazy, its the tiny micro-tears in the muscle fibre's that develop from pounding the streets for 3.5 hours. I do feel like I ran a marathon yesterday. However, apparently it is quite cool to have killer shell fish for thighs. 😉

Now if you believe what you read on the internet I hath now got to go for a run today in order to teach my killer shell fish thighs to become more efficient at utilising fat as an energy source (of which I have plenty) and before my glycogen stores have a chance to recover. Apparently this is called a "recovery run". I have another name for it... its called "a death run to hell"

Wish me luck! ... oooo don't wish me luck, that's like gambling isn't it!! Laters and thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

SA

fella my utmost respect to you. to see the job through even when it does not seem a wise idea!!

as for luck you don't need it, you are molding yourself into steel !!!

and for some mad reason all i can vision is Elvis pounding the street!! i need help lol.

my friend let the streak continue.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 134 continues

Thanks Dunc's. Am doing this for me you see. This is a long term project. I want to reach my potential and am a long way off yet but I am learning what works and what doesn't work bit by bit.

In fact a big chunk of learning this weekend. I read lots about marathon training on the internet and the general advice has been that for your average marathoner you don't need to run the marathon in training, in fact its counter-productive.

But the thing is I wasn't willing to accept this. Its like logic says that if you get use to running the distance then you will be better pre-pared for race day. But the literature says that for the novice or average runner this is not true for the marathon. I thought nah I will run the distance in a training run. Ive learn't my lesson.

As the literature says, after 3 hours of running your body starts to break down, its running out of energy at the same time as the joints and muscles start to seriously fatigue and become ineffective. With anything over 3 hours I am no longer improving fitness I am just in terminal decline until the point where my body will stop me in my tracks... this is what happened in my first 2 marathons, especially the second one... in the heat!

As the literature goes on to say, the key to marathon training is the training for life beyond 3 hours and if your an average Joe who will finish in 4 hours or so this means life beyond 20 miles. The answer it is says is in strength and frequency of training and to build endurance its about back to back long runs of around 2 hours each ie of an evening and then again in the morning before legs have started to recover properly but so that they are not totally f***** from having over done it.

I am no longer a stubborn b*****d and I will accept this wisdom from those that have been their and done it. It does make sense as I always feel good for the first 2 hours of a run. My body is working very efficiently up to that point. Never again will I do a training run beyond 3 hours. It does me no good.

Anyway I went out for a slow jog of 50 mins this morning and have completed the marathon distance over the last 2 days. Am pleased with myself. Thanks for listening folks... S.A 🙂

The sun has come up but its hiding today. Later it will go down. Its very consistent!

Makes me feel absolutely exhausted just reading your diary the thought of running so far and going for more the following day, a glutton for punishment or what?. Must provide hours of contemplation/meditation or do you listen to music while you run? I used to love weight training but never up for running even when I was mega fit twenty years ago. I think you are right about building stamina gradually rather than repeating runs though. My brother runs a sports centre and my son in law is a sports lecturer so all family are fit except me who has turned into ms blooby since illness but will make a determined effort this summer.

Understand the social thing too as these days it is a real effort to socialise although I used to love it. Think you have to do what you want to and good friends will fit around that I have found.

Like you say sun comes up, goes down regardless so we have to make the best of things and sounds like you are doing just that. Winners podium S.A.

xxx

Day 136

Hey Thanks Rainbow. Must admit I find I don't need music when running its like once am in the zone am in the zone. I had a sudden urge to go for a run at 10 pm yesterday so I did. Loved it. Anyway that's enough of the run chat.

Overall am still in a good place, no urges to gamble... fleeting thoughts of playing the lottery but they soon pass. Not much else I want to say, nothing much to report. I just carry on carrying on...that's life isn't it.

Am still reading a little and I think about what people say, even when I don't reply. Thanks for listening folks... S.A 🙂

The sun had its hat on today.

Day 137

Am annoyed with myself. Ive gone on a serious eating binge which included a full tube of pringles (family size) a king size snickers bar on top of a full evening meal and 3 bowls of blueberry wheats... all washed down with several sugary coffee's. And I wonder why ive still got a belly?? Maybe I should try and puke it all back up. Errrr!!

This is just like me to start self-sabotaging when things are generally fine. Think am just tired but its no excuse really. Do I really have no self-control over anything?? Probably not. Maybe I should give up food.

No gambling. Thanks for listening... from a big fat S.A

Yo,

Oh mate , so frustrating being us .

What happened to our off button .

All you can do is your best , and sometimes our addictive personally gets the better of us .

Tomorrows another day , to get up positive and run those calories off .

Have a good weekend

Shiny xx