Hope

Day 253... I appreciate the support folks 🙂

A pretty s**t day back at work but hey ho that's life. Coping with other staff is hard isn't it? Other people irritate me. Am too sensitive so am told. That maybe true but its just the way I am. Anyway I didn't lose my rag with said collegue, partly because she leaves soon to train to be a mental health nurse. She will struggle with that job am sure. I need to move on from this job, but how many times have I said that before.

On the plus side no gambling today so in the great scheme of things its another good day. Thanks for listening folks... S.A 🙂

Hey SA..

Isn't it ironic ...you struggle with women in your life and I struggle with men....same stuff just opposite way round..

Also been told I take things to heart...shows we still have one and not a swinging brick!

R and D xx

Day 253 comes to an end.

I think what upsets me the most is how difficult I find it to fight my corner in the moment... its not especially a male female thing, cos ive had similar issues with men at times

It tends to go like this... a person is angry with me about something anything. They get all fired up and what comes out of there angry mouths is... "You this... You that... Why didn't you... Don't you realise that.. bla bla.." ... you get the picture.

Now of course being on the receiving end of this gets me angry cos I don't like it when people have a go at me, particularly when I feel its unjustified.

But what's happens to me in practice is that when my emotional brain goes into overdrive I lose the ability to speak, atleast to speak in a co-ordinated and thought out way. I am not able to give as good as I have got in the moment and if I do say something back I blurt it out, blurting out something that I might not mean and may regret. Its very frustrating!! I get frustrated and angry with myself and sometimes feel like others are laughing at me.

People confuse my reaction with not having the confidence to fight my corner but this isn't it. Its just that I need a bit of time to calm myself down before I react to whats come my way... but you never have that luxury in the moment do you.

I feel angry this evening. I hope this member of stuff just ******** off sooner rather than later. Goodnight...

SA don't let her get to ya. Let her have her moans and just brush it off. Don't take it home with ya. I know that's easier said than done. You could always speak to her later in the day or the next day - take all that she has to say and when you have calmed down, got your thoughts together then go back and say your piece.

Congrats on getting to the 250 mark. Really going well mate. I'm pretty much a tenth of what your on (day 23) which in a way is a bit depressing knowing at one point we were one or two days apart but not to be, I still had some learning to do. I just hope will always be 230 days apart, no more no less.

Day 254

Cheers dave. I feel quite proud of myself cos I did exactly what you said. I had a think about what she'd said and came to the conclusion that one of her criticisms were reasonable. So today I went forth and apologised for that point, which in turn diffused the atmosphere which then made it possible to return to cordial working relationship. So that's that dealt with. As I say she leaves soon anyway, so its kind of bye the bye anyway. But like I say I feel 100% better than I did yesterday. I dealt with it. Would I have done that if I was gambling. I don't know.

Anyway today I am more likely to insert a large celery stick into my back passage than gamble. So following that logic through I am defo NOT going to gamble today.. happy days... S.A 🙂

Hey SA

Just read your post there ...

Thinking the only thing that separates you from me with that scenario is one line "I may say something I may not mean and might regret "

I always say what I mean in anger and usually it's out of my mouth before I can think about any regret because if I feel unfairly attacked I will attack back.

The thing is you did deal with it ...and so long as you feel satisfied with the outcome then that's all that matters . It's finding a solution that suits you .

I say incredibly hurtful things in anger but 99% of the time those friendships can be mended quite soon down the line , but make no mistake if I could also find a way to find a better solution that I feel satisfied with then I would choose it.

R and D xx

Ps ...I'm now off celery for life ! X

Hi SA,

Glad you are feeling better about the thing with your colleague. Some people know just how to push our buttons, and it's hard to be unaffected.

I'm not good at comebacks either - I think of loads of great things to say a couple of hours later, when it's too late.

As you say - you are dealing with things. That is all that matters. It's not nice to feel put on the spot, manipulated, or tongue tied - but those feelings pass, and we live to fight another day!

Take care,

f x

Day 255 gamble free

Well exactly Freda, well said. Glad to see your still about.

Iv'e just eaten six of these mini syrup and saltana pancakes walking home from Asda, I is feeling a bit sick.

Answer me this, Why do some people feel the need to verbalise every last thought that comes into their heads??

In my mind some things just don't need to be said because they are either A. obvious to all B. irrelevant to context or C. just so tedious and dull that the recipient of said thoughts probably wants to scream the following, "shut the f*** up!"

Anyway no gambling problems. Thanks for listening.. S.A 😉

are you taking about me SA??

Lol xx

Sa

Fella glad to see your focus to remain gamble free has not been derailed by the thoughtless actioss of others.

Keep enjoying those pancakes, cold they must have been a chore to eat!! LOl

Duncs stepping forward never back.

My 256th day in a row without a single penny gambled.

Thanks both. That's the great thing about type Rach. People can witter away as much as they like and if I don't want to listen then there is a red cross in the corner of the screen 😉 Unfortunately in real life you can't close people down like you might close a browser lol

Dunc... the pancakes were lovely. They small and designed to be eaten straight out the packet, not all at once though. I am greedy.

Its been a bit manic today. I had my designated client but the boss has this habit of putting her name against some of the less challenging clients and then having nothing to do with them cos she's busy doing management type stuff. Its not done deliberately to *** people off (like the old boss use to do) but it is because we are always short staffed.

The reality is that the likes of me tends to run round like a headless chicken. Mostly I don't mind cos I like being busy and I am fitter than a lot of the other staff but sometimes it gets to me when certain staff do f*** all but sit on their big fat arses and disappear into their smart phones. If we all behaved that way then people would get hurt, seriously they would!

We have one member of staff who is very idle does very little, does not interact with clients unless she has to and is off sick regularly particularly when she has a few weeks to her next annual leave and yet despite all the complaints and frustrations that people have with her... there seems to be no appetite to actually DO anything about it on the part of senior management type people. Its wrong but its just the way it is I suppose. She's a nice enough person mind. She's just very obese at such a young age and already has tonnes of health issues. I suppose its the classic thing of management feeling sorry for someone. If we sack her how will she get another job type thinking. Don't know why am saying all of this really. Its nout to do with me. No way would I want to manage people. I'd sack loads of people lol

No gambling problems here. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Hey SA

One word ...headworkers ....that is all. Xx

Hey S.A,

First well done for another fantastic day gamble free! You doing great and it's all going to bring you huge rewards in this journey.

I know what you mean about work colleagues.. I'm struggling in my place too, seems like i'm the only one running up and down, and does wind me up, when others just take a *** of their job. If i have more power i would sack top management first, because that's where all the problems start, at the top..(but it's only my opinion)

Take care and have a great weekend:)

Sandra x

Day 257 gamble free.

There is npthing like drunkenness to get me wanting to gamble. But npleased to say that I haven't and am home now so I feel safe. I have had a nice few beers after work with mate. Nice.

No gambling. Thanks for liutening... S.A 🙂

P.s thanks Sandra and Rach x