Hope

Hey S.A.

Well done for another day gamble free, and i hope you catching up with some rest. You doing so great in every aspect of your life, but don't forget to get yourself some breathing space, we need to slow down now and again:)

Keep drinking water and have some calming time to get your physical strength back.

Take care and keep going strong:)

Sandra x

Hiya SA 🙂

Came across this and thought of you.

http://scrapbook.channel4.com…kBar/50f3f7e1e4b09b08528f190a

Delgirl x

Hey SA

Just catching up- as usual I'm mega impressed at the running activity!

I also saw that programme, a real life reminder of what my gambling funded!

Keep up the great effort SA- you're doing brill 🙂

Take care

Irene

x

Thanks all. Day 265 without a penny having been gambled.

Am fine if slightly hung over. Drinks with work mates last night which was nice.

Planning a mega long run tomorrow morning to see if am ready for the marathon. Am inspired by having just watched the womens marathon at the World championships. Awesome endurance in the heat and humidity.

No gambling thoughts. Am happy not to be gambling. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

SA

fella I hope the run goes well today and don't forget.

Rehydrate !!!!!!!

I am so pleased abstinence is still gifting you the rewards for all the effort you give it.

Well done my friend.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Into a day 266 without a penny having been gambled in that time.

Thanks Duncs. Yes the run went exceptionally well.... 3 hours and 38 minutes (no stopping)... 22 miles plus. Longest training run ive ever done. Am tempted to try and run the full distance next weekend and then I will know that I will run the full race in 3 weeks (barring extreme weather or injury) as opposed to last year where I was reduced to walk/slow jog for the last 6 miles. Its not enough for me merely to complete the distance. I have to reach my potential. We shall see what happens.

As far as gambling goes, thoughts are not bothering me at the moment but once I take running out of the equation am still generally quite stressed with work and withdrawn and melancholy at home. A few beers after work on Fri was nice (social and all that) but it messed up Saturday. I was a right old misery guts and when I get like that I don't do anything constructive, washing up left to fester and doing other stuff of an escapist flavour, just not gambling.

Am sorry if I should be sounding upbeat after approaching 9 months off the gambling but in truth am just kinda getting by am not flourishing. Never have really. Life sometimes feels just a bit relentless to me. The only time I seem to smile lately is when am running through the forest with a nice breeze on my face.

Anyway that's me. My melancholy won't make me gamble, so that's always a good thing. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Hey S.A,

Wow sounds like you doing very well with running. i wish you to complete your marathon with full strength and enjoyment.

Well done for another day gamble free, life is not as exciting sometimes, but you seem to take the right decisions and choices in life. Fresh air on your face always helps to relax those thoughts and look at everything in different perspective.

Take care and enjoy your Sunday

Sandra x

Day 267 gamble free.

Thanks Sandra.

Am feeling utterly dejected at the prospect of another week at work. As my sister said.. "you have a s**t job and I would never do what you do." But when all's said and done, being in a job is better than not being in a job. I need to stay positive. Its just hard some days.

A big no to gambling. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Day 267 continues...

Unsurprisingly I feel a bit better now that the working day is over. It was hard though, very hard. Coping with other people both clients and staff was blumin hard. I just wanted everyone just to B*****r off and leave me alone.

Running 22 miles yesterday and then having a rubbish nights sleep was the route cause of my dejection and negativity I think (though it might not have been). Am gonna do one more mega run on Saturday rather than Sunday, cos I really aint in good form today.

No gambling, thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

HI SA,

Glad your working day is over and you survived it.... It must be really difficult working in such a s**t enviroment, some of your work collegues sound like they should be working in a prison camp ..

Im sure you would be better paid and valued elsewhere, or maybe the grass isnt greener on the other side, either way what you do makes a difference, it might not always be noticed or appreciated by some.... But it does. and when people back stab or have a go at you... tell them to f*** off lol..... Even if its only in your head lol...

take care.

blondie

Hey,

I can sympathise with you there. It is just draining and uncomfortable being around deck heads, isn't it? Worse when you haven't slept!

The best way I can think to describe it, is just unnecessary. There are things in life that matter, and things that don't. With things that really matter to me, I don't mind having to fight for it/them, but when people are just difficult/ nasty all the time it is exhausting when every day becomes a battle. I don't know if I explained that very well, but I know what it feels like when people make your day harder just to fuel their own selfish ego. When they put you through the mill, just for sport. Just cos they can!

I like your idea of sticking them all on a barge and letting them drift away, and get on with it, without ruining everyone else's fun!

Narcissists, bullies, headworkers they can all just pish off!

I like how you aren't being too hard on yourself, and recognising that today you aren't feeling so hot, but tomorrow is a new day!

Don't let em drag you down!

f x

hey SA

Your sister really knows how to make you feel good eh?

Glad to hear that you are working your way through what sounds like a testing week at work..and that you are not defeated by it and still are keeping going with your running ..

At the end of the day in your job you are giving vulnerable people dignified life ..even if sadly the people you may work with could do with a kick up the Jacksy

Keep Calm And Carry A Voodoo Doll ..xxx

Day 267 comes to an end... and thanks all 🙂

I still feel the need to post lots in my diary. The reality is that I don't have alot of support in the 3d world, so coming here is an outlet and if it keeps me on the straight and narrow, then so be it.

I been for a swim and sauna this evening. I feel a bit more centred, if very tired. Hopefully I will sleep tonight. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Hey S.A.

It's your diary so feel free to post anytime and as much as you like. I'm very similar to you...like today i was doing bits and bobs, but every time had spare minute i felt need to log on and put my feelings down.

I hope you have a good rest tonight, take care and sleep well. If not, you know where to find us:-)

You doing great, keep it up

Day at a time

Sandra x

Hi Sa,

Just popping in 2 say I hope u r ok and staying strong, this is ur diary use it has often as u need. U r doing gr8, I hope u got some sleep and feel more rested 2day!

Stay strong xx