Hope

Hi SA,

Just a little note to say hi and hope all is well with yourself and you are keeping calm and peaceful. Keep it up my friend, u deserve all the good things in your life.

Take care

Sandra x

P.s. great stuff on g free time, way to go!! 🙂

498 days with not a penny gambled in that time.. and thank you everyone for your support.

Ive been away visiting family for a few days. Good to see them; sisters, parents, nieces and nephews. They are all lovely well balanced successful people and I had a nice time.

It is a mixed blessing though. I listen to all the chat about how well everyone is doing. Such and such has joined the institute of directors and such and such has been head hunted and is joining a large pharmaceutical company and relocating to Boston and such and such is just back from some mega holiday and on it goes... Me I just stay quiet self esteem quietly melting away.

Don't get me wrong it bothers me less than it use to cos we all know that however rosey someone's life can seem on the outside... on the inside it might be the total opposite. Ultimately having sack loads of money doesn't necessarily bring happiness.

What does tend to happen though is that on the way there and on the way back I get urges to gamble and this time was no exception.. I had to bat them away as they came and went and came back again. The devil sitting on my shoulder egging me on to have a few spins.. maybe win a few hundred quid.. ya never know?? The angel sitting on the other shoulder reminding me of what happens in reality and how s**t I would feel after gambling and especially after losing which is what always happens.. cos when I start I don't stop.

The angel won the day. The only win is not to play. I feel happy to be home safe and well.

One good thing for the self-esteem was the half marathon. I did 1 hour 49 this year. A perfectly respectable time.

Thanks for listening folks.. S.A

Day 499 gambling free.

My friend has just left. His fall from grace continues. Iv'e just given him £5 for food to last till the weekend. On Saturday I will give him £5 more so he can eat to his next monies due.

His situation only emboldens my own resolve not to fall back into gambling. Thanks for listening... S.A

SA

fella just to say you are a good man.

To not judge your friend is testament to that.

I hope one day he repays your kindness by finding inspiration in your own efforts.

500 up for you tomorrow my friend,why would you give that up, for it be very proud.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hey SA,

Happy big 500 🙂

Great achievement and VERY inspiring. You are doung brilliantly and should be proud.

Hope you feel at peace, keeping up the running and enjoying every day 🙂

Take care and keep it up

Sandra x

ps.my 26miles marathon on a way..first one and hopefully not the last one. Will run that extra mile for you dear soldier (ok then..if not run I will walk lol) but will complete the distance as you always do yourself, which is ever so inspiring 🙂

Congratulations there big fella, 500 days is a helluva achievement. Well done. Keep on putting one step in front of the other.

Laz

S.A.

I know you are in training and thinking about marathons this year. You would be well advised to enter the Inverness Loch Ness Marathon. It is simply amazing with awe inspiring scenery and a great crowd. I stayed outside the city in a lovely little place called Nairn. Lovely little seaside town with a big beach. Train station to take you through to the city centre for bus pick up.

The entry fee is a little expensive but well worth it for the experience. I am seriously considering doing it again. I loved it so much I get excited just typing about it.

Any other races you would recommend to me?

High five for the five hundred days come tomorrow. That is crazy brilliant.

Tomso.

Hi there i have not read your diary only certain parts as its very long. came here only to say well done on 500 amazing.

CasinoRoyaLoser

S.A. , you are simply amazing and such an inspiration to all of us on here. Huge congrats on your success in abstinence and continuing to find the strength to bat those demons away. Just read your post about the family visit and want to discourage you from comparing yourself to others. Oh why do we do that?! I think my favourite line in the poem "Desiderada" refers to the fact that there will "always be greater and lesser beings" than ourselves so really, it's just not useful to compare. I also want to thank you for your posts to me which came at a time when I really needed to hear words of encouragement. It's no secret that I've been down in the dumps. I think my problem is that I haven't been putting any energy into my personal growth.... wow... that just came to me now! Anyway... well done and keep up the good work!

Hi SA,

Well done on the good time for the half marathon, hope that training's going well for longer and more challenging goals.

Hope seeing your friend in such dire straits hasn't brought the whole gambling situation back into your thoughts too much. I'd say that there but for the grace of god....but it takes a lot of effort and willpower to supplement the grace of god to stay away from gambling, as you well know.

All the best, hope the weekend goes well for you.

Ryan

Day 503 with not a penny gambled in that time

Thank you everyone for your fine words of support. I will get back to you all over the weekend.

Not much to say from me, other than am very tired. All the cycling to work and back has caught up with me. A lazy day beckons.

No gambling issues in the last few days. Good to have pushed beyond 500 days. So that's good news... thanks for listening... S.A

Geez there's no stopping you now. When you look at the obstacles you have overcome recently with work, family and the triggers they could have been I am full of admiration.

Sounds like the sun has been coming up on some pretty good stuff these days. Enjoy your rest.

xxx

Hi S.A

Last week when you wrote that you left the diaries for similar reasons and wound up coming back made me feel hopeful and not so strange. 😉 lol. Thanks for the encouragement and for leaving a light on. -joanxxx

Hey SA,

Thank you for popping by on my diary. Marathon still has question mark on so I shall keep you updated on that one 😉

Not sure how it's called either lol..that's how much I know!!

Great stuff on g free time. Over 500 days, impressive!!

Keep it up and b kind to yourself

S x

SA

Fella thanks for popping by my thread, I am so pleased to read you have marched past the 500 days gamble free, a huge achievement, added to and more profound the fact that you have added days abstinence since.

As to celebrate continued abstinence with a punt would for me be a very futile act indeed.

Keep making the right choice for you fella

Duncs stepping forward never back.

P.s self exclusion for me is a tool in my armoury that I actually enjoy, to know that I would not re enter an establishment because I took the option away is a very empowering act.