Hope

Hi SA,

Pleased to read you are carrying on forwards, and starving that addiction.

We can't start again, because we won't stop again, and each time we start again the hole(especially mentally gets bigger) so as you say it's utter madness and totally pointless.

Stay strong and take care

Suzanne xx

Hi SA,

No more beating yourself up you hear me! 🙂 you are in recovery and doing your best which is so admirable. Let the c rap go and concentrate on now and today.
Don't forget YOU are doing the hard work and the strength comes from within. Be proud, i am surely proud of you.
Onwards we go!!!!

(((((SA)))))

S x

No worries Sandra, am doing ok. Am knuckling down and getting on with life. I tend to put my "woe is me" feelings on my diary more than the "I am feeling good" feelings, cos the "woe is me" is more dangerous to my recovery and needs to be said or written about.

Today "I am feeling good" cos am feeling fit and healthy, cos work went well, cos my bike hasn't broken for a while, cos the weather ain't awful, cos ive earn't another days pay and cos am one more day away from my last gamble!

As far as gambling goes am not troubled by horrible urges at the moment, but it seems that every time I switch on the Tv or look at a website on the internet I see someone waving a big fat lottery cheque or an advert for some lottery or other and i think.... "it could be me" or "ive got to be in it to win it" and sometimnes these thoughts grate on my mind. Amazingly enough I haven't bought a single lottery product for 10 years now but the thoughts never go away completely.

Anyway I don't want to win money anymore do I?... cos i don't win, I lose, as soon as i start to play, cos my gambling ain't really about money anyway, its about escape.. I then chase, I then lose alot more... and before i know it am at rock bottom once more.

Just for today... thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

Just caught up with your recent posts on your diary, and just wanted to offer you my support.

I get and feel every word you write and relate to the feeling of frustration. You know what it takes to get the better of this addiction better than most, and like you say, 99% of the time you have avoided those annoying urges. One day at a time we will beat this together...

Keep going my friend.

All the best

Ade

Thanks Ade... good to see you back.

Am feeling good today. No gambling since my last post.

I been out for a 7 mile run this morning. I averaged under 9 minute miles and thats with more uphill than down hill.

I feel very much back on the recovery wagon.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

Good to hear from you my friend.

Glad you like the photo, not my usual attire obviously! ;0)

Glad to see you still putting the miles in on the road. Great weather for running at the mo. I need to get out soon, once i've got over this pleurisy that has followed on from a recent chest infection! Need my full health back and the running shoes will be dusted off....

Glad to hear you positive and back on the recovery band wagon. Positive vibes are what keep us going through the tough times.

Have a great weekend

All the best

Ade

Hi Ya S.A,

Yes, I could have written that post myself. It aint about winning money anymore and has not been about winning for a very long time. It's about paying to play and playing to play and play and play. Like a merry go round moving at the speed of sound. The massive hole I have found myself in once it has finally stopped is nauseating to even think about. And, days when we have a firm handle on it do feel good! Here's to feeling good about feeling good!! ((((S.A)))) -joanxxx

Hi SA,

7 miles??!! Awe man i am jealous. I want to go for a run too but some commitments at work gets in a way lol..never mind, soon b Monday 🙂

Glad to see urges leaves ya at peace, may long it continue.

You are right, have to concentrate on ourselves first and take a good care of us.

Gotta go, duties calling 🙂

Stay safe my friend and keep up the good work

S xxx

That's right S.A. Those machines can go straight to hell. We can do bad all by ourselves thank you very much and at least we end up with a little cash in the bank for all our troubles. I feel c**P so, go out and wind up feeling c**P plus broke. Whassup with that??? I'm with you. It's t.v. tonight and beddie bye. If yer up and need to chat or write my thread is always open! -joanxxx

Thanks Sandra & Joan

No gambling since my last post.... 3 full weeks since I phoned the samaritans unable to speak. Getting back on track.

Its been a nothing weekend. Mate not communicating with me cos i cancelled snooker, other mate went off and did his own thing after having suggested beer festival... so i ends up doing nothing. What goes around comes around springs to mind.

The net result is that ive done very little of anything constructive, other then a couple of runs. This mornings run was unpleasant and ive ended up feeling like ive got a chest infection.

On a positive I haven't gambled and haven't spent much money and i haven't zoned out to anything else and even my over eating has not been too out of control.... so hey, not so bad I guess.

Thanks for listening... S.A

hi SA,

Sending you extra big hugs because you are doing something amazing you are saving yourself.

((((((SA))))))) you are not on your own with all the S***e the aftermath of gambling brings, very proud to be walking along side of you.

Take care and stay safe

Suzanne xx

Thanks SA it breaks my heart,to see the downward road my son is heading to, but I know there is only one positive thing I can do,and that is not to give him any money, if I did I would want to chase it back, and that would not get me anywhere, and he would only gamble with it, it's strange to be a CG and see your son going down that road, but there is nothing I can say to him,,

Thanks for your support and concern, we must not give in when stuff gets tough, we must continue forwards , and by the way you have been in recovery for a long time, amazing achievement SA xxxxxx

Suzannexx

Just joined this forum. Your letter says all I feel about gambling addiction. Thank you for posting it

Hi SA,

Tiny steps forward my friend. You are making great progress and should be proud of yourself.

Soon be another weekend and hope it will be a lot better, busier and happier. You deserve it.

I am very happy you are here and fighting this good fight. Who are we to give up??? Nahhh, we are million times better than all addictions put together. Give yourself some credit man 😉

You are making a change to the world and that's something amazing. Thank you

S x

HI SA thanks for yo