Hope

Great post to read SA, lovely to see you back on track in a positive way,

Have a lovely Saturday.

Suzanne xxxx

Hi SA,

I did not know that you had already tried anti-d's. Or were you recounting what your friend noticed about himself, when he was on them? They are absolutely not the answer, but can just make it slightly easier to feel human enough to do the things you are struggling to do, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, busy sounds good for now.

Take care,

f x

Thanks folks... and no gambling since my last post.

The friend had noticed it about me Freda, as far as i know he has never been on them. Its nice to feel human.

I have a rotten cold today. Going for a run yesterday was a big mistake. I got to 10 miles and there was absolutely nothing left in the tank so I stopped 3 miles from home. I promptly got really really really cold and didn't think I would make it back without having to knock on someones door and ask them to warm me up! lol I didn't have gloves and my hands were so cold i couldn't feel them. I was a fool to have gone out in the first place as i new i wasn;t feeling great. Anyway ive survived to tell the tale even if I am sneezing like a trooper.

No gambling today. Thanks for listening... S.A

S.A - Crazy but hardcore! 10 miles feeling like doo with no gloves?!? a) I probably wouldn't have made it 10 metres & b) I'd probably have ended up in A&E so kudos to you with a big fat telling off about looking after yourself!

Wrap up warm & get some hot honey & lemon inside you!

Great work on staying gamble free, look after you - ODAAT

Hi SA,

Hope you are keeping nice and warm and safe today,

Great to read you are still gamble free and winning.

Thanks for the post, and take care of YOU

Suzanne xxxx

Hi SA,

Please keep tucked up and warm today. I am getting ready to go for a run the last 7 days lol...ummm..still not there but going for a little ice skating instead. God help my knee if i fall over (which is more than likely with me being clumsy lol)
Thanks for the advice re knee. Yes you're right, i have new trainers but this problem is ongoing for over a year. Oh well....will just have to attend to it more.

Good stuff on going g free and successfully beating those demons.
keep it up - you're worth it!

S xx

Thanks both. No gambling since my last post and a month since my latest (and my last, god d**n it!) gambling melt down came to an end.

Life is hard enough without me making it harder on myself.

Difficult day at work. I guess I am resilient but in my self all i really wanted to do was crawl into a dark place and do nothing.

Some people just aren't very nice are they?. Some people hide there own inadequacies by picking fault with others... quick to highlight ones weaknesses to deflect away from themselves. I don't like being around these sort of people but at work it is hard to avoid. Today was one of those frustrating days. The child i was working with was also not happy and quite challenging at times.. which when your tired and have a cold is not easy to cope with, but copw with it I did.

On a postive today happens to be my birthday and to my surprise my class collegues bought me a present which was nice and kind of offset my frustrations and my own internal stresses.

...and so life goes on.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA

Like you said you had to cope with it and cope with it you did, so there was only one winner there my friend YOU.

Many happy returns SA enjoy what's left of your birthday, and good luck shaking off that cold.....onwards and upwards...Ginger

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

((((((((SA))))))))))

Suzanne xxx

Hi SA,

Wishing you a very happy birthday, although there are only about 50 mins of it left!! ;0)

Keep strong

All the best

Ade

Hi SA,

From what you mentioned last week, looks like you'll be up in a couple of hours, so I'll bid you good morning. Glad to read that you are still resisting the temptation to gamble, and that you can start to find the positives, as well as edging back towards a balance financially.

Hope that cold is starting to ease up, I've had a niggling cough for weeks now and I'm really looking forward to spring coming around again!

Ryan

Hey SA,

Grrrrrrrr...i'm late for bday party 🙂
Just to wish ya all the best our honourable athlete, amazing supporter, lovely soul and inspiring fighter!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my friend!!!!

S x

Thanks for your good wishes folks. Pleased to report that no gambling since my last post. 🙂

However the hard work begins today. Its half term and more time on my hands. More to think, to worry, to fret, to get bored etc etc. More time for the gambling monster within to work its evil magic. Its already had its first strike. An unexpected expense has come my way, that must be paid and a trip to the agency, out of my local area with £50 to hand over. My gambling head says take £100, pay the £50 that must be paid and then gamble with the other £50 to win it back. It says don't take your cards and so the worse thing that can happen is that you lose £50.

I know am a fool to even think these things but I am a gambling addict and i do think these things and yes despite my years and years of making very similar choices with all the financial drain and personal misery that then follows... I keep making the wrong choice.

Gambling can seem like a quick fix and we all like a quick fix don't we? As I type I am able to fight these thoughts successfully but who knows where my thoughts will be come Tuesday. I know what i have to do to avoid gambling, its just a question of wanting to do it.

I use to think that I had unconditionally surrendered to gambling... "enuff is enuff" etc etc, but my history says that I only think this way in the immediate days and weeks after a ctatastrophic binge or serious of binges... it never lasts indefinately. Not gambling remains hard work. I have a great deal to change about how i live my life. It is not easy.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Unconditionally surrender to recovery. Take everything it has to offer. Continue the honest & fearless search for what will work for you

Dan

Hi SA,

Another week safely through, well done

Stay strong and think recovery, it's the only way to win.

Take care and stay safe.

Suzanne xx