Hope

Hi
S.A

Great post on the lottery always good to throw a hand grenade into the mix & see what comes out! Be great if you could add to my thread "thoughts" on the same page. Im sure you have some opinions on the issue too

Hi SA,

Interesting thread you put on lottery,,and interesting thread that I also read like you about human bonding, also interesting about those bloody leprechauns, (hope I spelt it wrong lol) cos I know all about them,.

Anyway just want to say well done for staying strong,

Always listening and learning from you,

Suzanne xx

PS 13 mile run, and you think you are no spring chicken, think again SA you have more stamina and guts with your personal life and work life than you credit yourself for, I will never underestimate you, you are a wonderful person, and don't you forget that.

Suzanne xx

Hi SA,

Just popping in to offer you my support and best wishes.

Thank you for being a big part of my recovery journey when I returned to my diary 2 months ago.

Sorry to read that you have had a tough time of it lately. I can obviously relate to a lot of it, but I know that you will beat this my friend.

Keep strong

All the best

Ade

Hi SA,

Good to see you in fighting spirits and hope those lep.... lol woteva is not dancing in front of your face in their own tune.
I always knew you have such a demanding job my friend. It requires full package : strength, logic, care, understanding and patience. ..all of these is not easy to have separately and look at you managing to juggle them all at once. This alone deserves a round of applause my friend.

Hope this week goes smoothly for ya. 13miles run...hmmmmm...ok ok lol..nothing to compare to my 10 but hey work in progress here and have to make sure some meat is left hanging on these bones lol.

Look after yourself and stay safe SA. Always listening so just keep talking (never pressure 😉 )

Sandra xx

Hi SA,

Touching the base and hoping you're well.
Take it easy at work, one last day to go..chilly outside so please wrap yourself up before jumping on that bike. Please eat and look after yourself.
God...feel like mother Theresa here..ummmm....just care about you. Thank you for all your lovely, encouraging, wise comments you shared with me in this journey. Know you for nearly 2 years and that's worth a little chink chink one day after the marathon we may complete and come out flying colours..and that's a thought!!! 😉

Later my friend, stay safe

Sandra xxx

Thanks folks 🙂

Am just checking in on my own diary. Not a great deal to say, other than no gambling since my last post. The week has been a bit of a blur of work and cycling. Had a few beers after work friday and then went to mates yesterday for food and some pear cider to wash it all down with... which was really rather nice!

Thoughts of gambling do still appear from time to time but I don't act on them.

I feel like I really need to go for a run but there is a bitingly cold wind today.. so I may not go. I am looking forward to the end of winter. The cold is getting to me a bit.

I hope to catch up and write on some diaries during the day. Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

Good to read you are still gamble free,

I'm not a winter person either lol, still we are in Feb now soon be spring,

Have a good Sunday,

Suzanne xx

Thanks NT... 🙂

Just done half-marathon distance in under 2 hours! Yeh!! 🙂

Hi SA, "healthy in body healthy in mind " keep up the good work....onwards and upwards Ginger.

Hi SA,

Just had a good old catch up on your thread. I'm sorry for your pain.

Would self referring for some talking therapy help at all, do you think? I know you have resisted going the medication route, which is fair enough, but I'm just wondering if it would help break the cycle of gambling as an outlet, if you had a more supportive option? You don't need a GP referral these days, any local branch of Mind or Mental Health Matters or probably their websites would help you find the contact details nearest to you.

You don't have to do this alone. Sometimes there's nothing like a human, to sit with you while you work through stuff. Online support is great, but a face-to-face option is worth trying, no? Even most Samaritans branches offer face to face sessions. I live just up the road from mine, but have always gone the NHS route up til now.

Massive congrats on the self exclusions. So much harder than it sounds. Particularly when they ask you to return another day. Have done them myself, and agree that it is an act of self-compassion and love. It's a great feeling! Especially when they try and get you to reconsider.....just have a cooling-off period and see how it goes....etc. They are thinking of their sales of course. They are terrified that everyone with a 'problem' will self-exclude, cos then their shop is for the chop! along with their job!

Hope you have a great week, one day at a time,

Take care,

f x

Hi SA,

Many thanks for dropping in on my diary. Your dead right about GC's and the texts about winning. That was me alright for sure, and going quiet once the winnings had all been lost. I realise now just how sad I must have seemed when texting friends detailing my obscure winning Acca's from European football.....

Glad to see you sticking to the running my friend. Under 2 hours for a half marathon is great going. I can recall doing the Windsor Half marathon back in 2000 when I was a 30 year-old whipper snapper!! Very hilly course and a hot day......first 8 miles in 1 hour......followed by the last 5 miles in 53 minutes!!!! You could say I peaked too soon eh!

Keep doing the running mate, wish I could be out there too.

Keep strong

Ade

Hi SA,

Half a marathon in under 2 hours and in sub zero temperatures ( well it feels like it lol) good for you,

You are stronger and healthier than you think you are ( watch out for house maids knee lol) it seems to be going round on the forum at the moment.

Have a great day and keep thst POSITIVITY UP, my friend,

Warm regards back,

Suzanne xxx

Hi SA,

Marathon in Autumn...ummmm..lol sounds like a challenge! I can go at a snail pace but saying that, a lot depends on my mood. I can also find the strength to get into fifth gear haha. Thinking of putting those trainers on now, nice and sunny outside so just see how far i can push myself. Ain't got much time cause work will be calling soon but sure i can allow myself a spare hour.

anyway, back to the recovery road. Wow my friend and look at you!! Marching on and not looking back. This is the beauty of recovery, we never ever giving up on giving up. Way to go soldier!
See ya at the finish line 😉 with a bottle of water to celebrate heh

Keep at it and stay safe

Sandra xxx

Hi SA!!!!!

Hope you're having a good week so far and those cycles to work are not too tirening. Plus not sure how weather has been your way but we had snow last few days and i would hate pushing bike in snow 🙁 was enough driving and not getting into second b****d gear all 10 miles lol.

Anyway, come with little question. Ade has problems with knees, so do i with one of mine. I was wondering if its something to do with intense running? I know you do quite few miles when you out ( sounds like you run around the globe sometimes lol) so just wonder if you noticing any issues with your knees? Mine is like pin in the nerve and can be quite painful for a good few hours...sayin that, i do work in quite cold conditions so maybe that's a part of my "arthritis" coming out.

Speak soon and keep on keeping on dear soldier! Stay safe

Sandra xxx

Hey thank you all and pleased to report that not a penny gambled since my last post.

Its been easy not to gamble this week because work, cycle, eat and sleep has been my world. My sleep patterns have also turned upside down. Sitting in the bath at 4.30 a.m and ready for bed by 7 P.m. What thoughts of gambling I have had have been quickly extinguished because am too tired or knackered to travel to places of self-destruction. The local self-excluions continue to do their job!

Another pay day passes and ive conscientiously been paying stuff and getting more ahead of myself. Slowly but surely I am climbing out of the financial abyss. It still feels very much like life on the edge but not quite as bad as it was 4 weeks ago, when my melt down came to an end. Of course the psychological and emotional recover is a life times journey. Thank fully though in the last few weeks the gods have been with me... no additional unforseen problems and issues have come my way. Who knows what tomorrow brings, but tomorrow is tomorrow and I can't do nothing about that now, so no use worrying.

To answer a few questions. Firstly Sandra, must admit that ive never had knee problems. I use to get terrible shin pain when i was a novice runner but now I think my shins have toughened up and am currently (touch wood...my head 😉 injury free. From what you say, it sounds like a pinched nerve and that could be to do with your running style and your trainers. Either your trainers are to old and have lost their support so your knee is taking the brunt of it... or you have new trainers that don't suit your running style or youve recently upped your mileage too quickly and your knee don't like it. Sounds like you kneed to ease off for a bit and things will prob get better on their own.. probably, possibly. I know nothing about arthritis or the internal structure of Jupiter for that matter lol Also are you tying your laces too tight? Running does put alot of pressure on ones joints.

Freda... your right about my relatively solitary lifestyle being part of my problem. Always good to talk of course, face to face etc etc. personally am not up for another bout of counselling, cos I feel like ive dealt with my past, its just making lifestyle changes that i find hard. Interestingly though am kind of changing my mind about anti-depressants. My mate keeps saying that when i was on them a year or so ago I was less anxious and was more focussed. I played a much better game of chess and my short term memory was much better. It maybe that i decide to go on a low does for the long term.

I have a cold... but just a head cold.. so me thinks its time for a run. Its good running weather today. Its got to happen. Hope your back to normal pain free running soon Sandra and Ade!

Thanks for listening folks... S.A 🙂