Hope

(((((((SA)))))))) because you deserve one.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks Suzanne.

Everybody I know is riddled with addiction. My neighbour popped up yesterday (his computer not working), he had can of extra strength lager in one hand, a roll up in the other, randomly applying for jobs to satisfy the job centre. Bright bloke, good to talk with (a mate) but in his own way just as f****d up as any other addict.

Well as for me, no gambling since last post, still feeling very low though, just going through the motions. At the bottom of my hole started to dig my way out.

Been watching a few YouTube video's from other gambling addicts. It feels useful to do this. It just kind of cements in my mind the real reasons that we get sucked in and the futility of it all.

Ive picked up another shift today, pay a bit more off what i owe my mate. He needs it even more than me. He's effectively flushed 31k of his pension down the toilet.

Life goes on

Thanks for listening... S.A

Life sure does go on:)) xxx

I feel slightly better today.

Maybe its just having not gambled for a few days.

Maybe its that my bank balance has stopped going into free fall.

Maybe am just calming down a bit.

Maybe its just the strong coffee am drinking thats giving a bit of a rush.

... but whatever it is, I feel like am off the bottom.

I feel like ive finally surrendered to the gambling.

I feel like gambling has trully got me beat once and for all.

I feel like gambling really does bring me financial drain and personal misery and nothing else, nothing positive, ever!

Life goes on.

No gambling

Thanks for listening.. S.A

No gambling since last post, slowly getting back on track.

Slight urge last night after having a couple of beers but blocking software preventing me acting on that urge.

Onwards and upwards... S.A

What do you have to do to free yourself from this gambling s**t once and for all??

Its only been 12 days since last gamble and am already having fantasies about winning a bunch of money on the slots.

As others have said. Compulsive gambling is like slow suicide. I gamble, I lose, I feel rubbish, I recover a bit then I gamble, then I lose, then I feel rubbish, I recover a bit, I gamble, I lose, I feel rubbish again.. repeat repeat repeat..... 20 years later!

Its s**t its just s**t

I was once asked a question to name 5 things I have bought with my winnings? I can't and I had some good wins but always give it back. It's pointless if you compulsive nothing to gain.

Keep ticking the days off and in time it will get easier.

KTF

The solution begins with a paradox. Victory is acheived through surrender, not in battle.

Hi, SA,

Sorry to hear you're down..but what are you doing to tackle the addiction? The addict thinking, not just barriers.

It's not about the money. It's about addressing why you need to gamble. Stirring the deeps...

Have you tried GA?

CW

Dear SA,

Spot on - addiction is slow suicide..it strips you down to empty shell, it takes and takes until you see emptiness everywhere around you...& then it slowly convince you that nobody cares, you are piece of nothing, you deserve f***l...it takes away your money, self worth, freedom and finally - hope...and then you start having thoughts of easy escape because it's pointless to carry on..very rarely but action comes together & then you not only give up on yourself but give your body & soul away.

Q: do you want that to happen to you? Do you want to be the statist?

You & i know how real it is & how it plays on our minds! I lost my mind few weeks ago! Gambling combined with alcohol stripped me down to nothing at all! It wasn't even scary place to be..i had no feelings..anger towards the world turned bk at me - i was ready....ready to lay down and die because i didn't see anything around me worth fighting for! ..i wouldn't be bloody typing to you now dear friend..i wouldn't of have a chance to tell you how RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE! how you need to work at it and how better things are waiting for you on the road ahead!
You are an amazing soul..you are no different to me - you have an addiction which tells you lies and takes piece of you daily..manifests in it and comes bk for some more!

SA....stand bk up..reach out! Help is out there! It truly is and i couldn't reassure more....it can and will get better if you commit for the change...no..not much happened to me since last week..work is still S***e and i am still finding the balance - however i am learning now...learning about my behaviour and finding the greater power out there...with fellow addicts in recovery..i am finding hope again...i know it's doable & i know you can find it too!

You can do it too! I know you can..grab that hand dear friend..stop giving pieces of you away...accept yourself for who you are and climb back to living...please don't kill yourself anymore - you're worth life on lives terms..you're worth balance and peace..only you can do it - one lil step at a time...let's walk them together dear soldier..let's make a change for the better.

Hugs & strength to you!

Sandra x

As above, you know this isn't about money SA! Time to stop punishing yourself & Starting Again...You have to push yourself to get outside help in order to have the strength to get into recovery once & for all, you can't do this alone, the beast is too strong!

You can do it man - ODAAT

"What do you have to do to free yourself from this gambling ****** once and for all??"

SA, I think you know the answer to that question. Maybe the question should be "Why aren't you doing it?" or "when are you going to start doing it?"

I'm not trying to be unkind, but 20 years is such a long time to be going around in circles. You're an intellegent, caring, hard working man. There's a whole world out there and a good life ahead if you're willing to reach out and take it. You can draw a line under this SA. You can have a different life. Why not start today?

LB x

I think you but the nail on the head when you said. ...
FANTASIZING ABOUT WINNING IN THE SLOTS !
You will never really win on these...you will put it all back...and more....they will take it all....then they will take
YOUR SOUL
YOUR HEART
YOUR FAMILY
YOUR FRIENDS
YOUR EVERYTHING
They will leave you chewed up and spat out !
Would you let a friend treat you like this...I doubt it....slots are not friends....they are there to make money for the operator's
Please don't let them have anymore of you...your worth more than a machine....and you can change...if you truly want to
I wish you well...xx

Hi, again, SA,

You've mentioned a few times that you're surrounded by addicts - is that something you've subconsciously chosen? Perhaps thinking you're not like them, not as bad? The suggestion is that surrounding yourself with addicts who are using isn't helping you.

Try GA, you'd be among people with the same addiction who are doing their utmost not to use. You'd get the understanding but not the example of constant using.

BW,

CW

hopeful soul wrote: Dear SA, Spot on - addiction is slow suicide..it strips you down to empty shell, it takes and takes until you see emptiness everywhere around you...& then it slowly convince you that nobody cares, you are piece of nothing, you deserve f***l...it takes away your money, self worth, freedom and finally - hope...and then you start having thoughts of easy escape because it's pointless to carry on..very rarely but action comes together & then you not only give up on yourself but give your body & soul away. Q: do you want that to happen to you? Do you want to be the statist? You & i know how real it is & how it plays on our minds! I lost my mind few weeks ago! Gambling combined with alcohol stripped me down to nothing at all! It wasn't even scary place to be..i had no feelings..anger towards the world turned bk at me - i was ready....ready to lay down and die because i didn't see anything around me worth fighting for! ..i wouldn't be bloody typing to you now dear friend..i wouldn't of have a chance to tell you how RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE! how you need to work at it and how better things are waiting for you on the road ahead! You are an amazing soul..you are no different to me - you have an addiction which tells you lies and takes piece of you daily..manifests in it and comes bk for some more! SA....stand bk up..reach out! Help is out there! It truly is and i couldn't reassure more....it can and will get better if you commit for the change...no..not much happened to me since last week..work is still S***e and i am still finding the balance - however i am learning now...learning about my behaviour and finding the greater power out there...with fellow addicts in recovery..i am finding hope again...i know it's doable & i know you can find it too! You can do it too! I know you can..grab that hand dear friend..stop giving pieces of you away...accept yourself for who you are and climb back to living...please don't kill yourself anymore - you're worth life on lives terms..you're worth balance and peace..only you can do it - one lil step at a time...let's walk them together dear soldier..let's make a change for the better. Hugs & strength to you! Sandra x