Hope

Glad I remind u to keep smiling. Hopefully stay gamble free too. Smiles are worth there weight in gold. ODAAT keep smiling 🙂

Morning SA,

Scared of what?... The unknown, or indeed a path un-trodden for a while can appear scary.

Once you begin that journey, it becomes no longer the unknown...

Jackie x

Yes, Jac.. what you say rings true. I liken it to what I see its like for drivers at the moment.. the difficult part is getting off the drive.. once out on the main road the journey runs smoothly. The drive way in my mind is very icy and am worried i might slip up.

Am in positive headspace today.. I remind myself that i am chugging along in recovery steadilly.. I keep doing what i do to keep myself safe. A time will come when the ice will melt and I will feel able to add a little something extra to my journey through life whether that be a new social outlet or whether that be a new hobby or whether that be a romantic interest or whether that be something else. In the meantime I will be patient and enjoy the simple things in life day by day. Today has been a good day. I intend to make tomorrow another good gamble free day. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

591 days !!! thats a special achievment s.a. !! i understand it leaves a void ( we all do ) its hard to advise people on how to fill it cos we are all different. try anything and everything who knows what you will enjoy cos this is a new and better life. best wishes , john.

Evening SA,

I liked the bit in your last post about "romantic interest"......I'm going to watch your diary from now on 😉

You are a great asset to this forum SA..I love reading your diary and credit where credit is due...you have actually come a long way along the road to recovery and that is something to be celebrated!

Have a good weekend.

Jas x

Hey SA

Wishing you anither gamble free year and thanks for all your positive input, you have been constant and invaluable.

hmmmmmmmmm romantic interest hey, wll watch with interest.

W xxx

Funny old day.. woke up full of positivity.. did some posting and then got all excited cos it was snowing ( I like the snow!).. and then went out for a walk. It promptly stopped snowing and my mood dropped.. ended up in shopping centre feeling cold and miserable, came home and have been eating ever since. Was tempted to go to bed at some rediculously early hour and call it a day on today.. and just be thankful for another gambling free day.

However have just had a call from a mate and am now going out.. venturing out into the freezer for a few beers and whatever else might happen. My mood has lifted.. it will be good just to get out and have a chat.

This is the problem i find with living alone and speanding so much time alone that it can at times feel so hard to manage my moods and change my mood when it dips. In the past when I felt crappy i'd of gone straight to gambling. I don't do that anymore.

Cheers everyone.. keep safe.. S.A 🙂

Hope you have a great night tonight!

Just wanted to swing by and thank you so very much for your support over the last week. I have been extremely depressed, the kind which I only get once in a blue moon, thankfully.

Getting a message of support means the world at times like that.

Thanks again, and have a good un!

Take care,

f x

No problemo Freda... I always read your diary even when i don't reply.. I relate to many of your thoughts and feelings.

Another day passing gambling free. I am surprisingly well today despite having quite alot to drink last night.. not sure how much of a t*t I made of myself.. but I quite enjoyed myself.

Am currently in the afterglow of a good gym session. I reckon my leg is back to 85% strength. I managed a steady jog.. 6km in 40 minutes.. first time in 3 months that i have been able to run a reasonable distance without shin pain. The stretching strengthening exercises ive got into the habit of doing are really starting to help. Gone are the days of running without stretching both before and after. It makes a huge difference.

If I could just tweak my diet a little bit and lose a stone or so.. thats a goal of mine. The challenge is being able to cut our the comfort eating.. cheese n biscuits, mutiple pate sandwiches, crisps and chocolate and gallons of sugary coffee.. thats the challenge.

Anyway no gambling urges or thoughts... generally feeling fine today.. my bath and bog needs cleaning.. anyone fancy doing it?

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

I will pass on the cleaning SA.... 🙂

Really glad your leg healing...know how important your exercise is to you. Is good medication!

Reading your recent posts, I have the urge to shout 'ONE THING AT A TIME, MAN!' lol.

You want to find love, maintain recovery, have a perfect flat, recover your fitness, lose weight..... wow! what a lot of expectations. However - me too. 😉

We are right silly sausages, expecting so much of ourselves. However, I'm a repeat offender...Dunno if I can reform.

I relate to a lot of what you say too. Is comforting to feel affinity, similarity.

Take care,

f x

SA - Hope you have had a good weekend.

I am nearly through my first gamble free weekend in god knows how long. Its not been easy but the lack of football has helped. Got La Liga on now though which used to be a staple gamble for me.

I think i will be spending alot more time at the gym now without gambling in my life...

I did a good 6km run and then 30 lengths in the pool.

I actually went wih the misses today for once which was nice. I usually go off to the gym in a rage after losing a bet. No more.

Good evening and best regards.

Hi S.A, Just wanted to thankyou for your post on my diary. I feel very welcomed by the people on this site. Cant believe how many replies ive had of people being supportive. I have had a little look at your diary but think it would take me months to read through it all. You are an inspiration to people like me that are on day one. You show that if you put up the fight it will be worth it in the end. I can see that it is not going to be easy and the urges will not go away after a week or two. I am determined to fight this addiction and get off the rollercoaster. Does everybody get depressed trying to give up the gambling. Most of the diaries i have read people seem to be struggling with depression and mood swings. Oh god i am scared. Anyway thanks again S.A for being supportive

Thanks for the replies everyone 🙂

Freda... I am a silly sausage thats for sure.. very hard on myself.. pile on loads of expectations and end up to overhwelmed to do anything.. not today though.. am in a positive and realistic headspace today.

A38... use the gym and swim as an integral part of your recovery.. maybe sign up for a race.. a half-marathon or something.. its a goal and something to aim for.. doing that sort of stuff helps me loads.

Bex.. I think depression is a given for any addicted gambler but it does gradually lift.. put up a determined fight each and every day.. over time you will figure out what works for you. As you can see i like to write lots.. it helps

No gambling thoughts or urges today.. regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

SA - Thanks for that. I have signed up for the Reading half marathon today. I have been meaning to do it for ages but kept putting it off.

Its in March so gives me a good target to aim for with the training and the not gambling.

All the best.

Morning S.A...Jas here from her sick bed...cough, cough, sneeze and splutter!

Budgeting...you are right. I've never heard it mentioned on here!

I'm making a chilli con carne.....you are more than welcome to join us. I haven't heard the words "polish it off" for ages.

Take care S.A......Jas x