Hope

Thanks Freda.. hiding my true self, thats certainly something i can relate to.. I guess many people do it, especially when in crisis. The fear of being seen as vulnerable and the fear of being seen as weak. People see through masks though even when they don't say so. I see masks in others so am sure that others see through my own.

I now understand that being open in thought and feeling and asking for and accepting help is the true sign of healing, inner strength and working recovery.

Another day passes gambling free. Its been another good day. Sent off for a mail order book about "changing ones life" .. cant do any harm to read it. Work went smoothly, getting on fine with collegues. Went for a "walk and a think" after work and then a big food shop. Just had a nice phone chat with sister. The steady rhythm of life continues. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

High five!!!!

f x

Hi SA,

Waiting for the update on the "romantic interest"!

I loved your post about smiling on the bus...made me feel happy.

Jas x

Thanks Jasmine and Freda.. no update on romantic interest... rest assured that will be logged when and if it happens lol

Another day passing gambling free. 604 days since my last bet according to an addiction counter 🙂 Went to Ga last night.. a good meeting. Just the regulars this time, quite a light hearted meeting nobody struggling... I was the chair but in reality the meeting ran itself. A few beers after... a nice social.

I read about the struggles of others on here. It re-inforces my resolve to focus on myself and my own recovery and not to return to gambling.. a day at a time only.

A work day today. It felt a bit intense at times but I managed myself just fine. Will go for a swim in a bit I feel as if I need to de-stress.

Ive been reading a book about the rules of life and in essence the rules of life are to treat people how you would expect to be treated yourself.

I am a quiet man with a quiet sense of humour who quietly gets on with things. Sometimes i feel as if others take advantage of this but this will not stop me treating them as i would wish to be treated myself.

Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

good for you s.a 604 days a fantastic achievement your posts are a joy to read giving me great confidence in beating this evil habit...

Thanks Winningpost 🙂

Basically having a good day today though after having read some stuff about "to do the lottery or not to do the lottery" I had some fleeting thoughts of buying a ticket. However I have worked it through in my mind and I will NOT be buying a lottery ticket.

A good gym session this morning 7.33 kms in 45 minutes.. my journey back to full fitness after injury is well under way. As Ive said before the stretching and strengthening exercises are starting to make a big difference and hopefully I will avoid any more stress fractures or shin splint injuries.

Have had a few things on my mind work wise.. just a bit of stress at an up and coming event I am to attend. Its very much stepping out of my comfort zone. I am not a natural extrovert, even making the phone call to arrange the details was stress inducing. I circled my phone several times before doing what i needed to do. A confidence thing. I tell you something i'd be a terrible cold call salesmen.. but thats ok my strengths lie in other areas. I shall go to this event with an open and curious mind and do my best to do my bit. If it all goes pete tong well I won't be going again.

Anyway back to today.. feeling good at this moment in time.. long may it last. No further thoughts or urges to gamble, since the lotttery thing as mentioned above. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi SA. thanks for your post. Im trying ot stay focussed and like you im back in gym trying to lose some xmas lard. Its good for me health wise and gambling wise tokeep busy.

Glad you resisted the old lottery urge. We all kmow it would lead no where but the urges are still there.

Best wishes

Keith

s.a an absolutely outstanding post on my diary mate...thanks and keep up the superb work...

Hi S.A,

Just dropping by to thank you for your recent posts, and congratulate you on your continued gamble free time, looks as if life is in a good place for you and your strength is somthing i admire, also the way you spend time and effort in helping others.

I'm good life is busy and i have had a bad eye got a corneal ulcer, that aside I'm in a good place right now, and it truly is with your help so thanks again.

regards.

green x

Hi S.A.

Just wanted to pop in and say "Thank you"

You always pop in to see how I am getting on and it's about time I returned the favour.

I am glad the quotes I put on my diary help you too. I receive then daily from Hazelden/USA/Canada. They are called "Today's gift" and I have a lot to be grateful for thanks to them. They have given me the opportunity to really look at myself and make changes where they were needed, but I didn't always see that changes needed to be done until I received the daily gifts.

Thank you for being here and being part of my recovery.

God Bless

Charly/Sabine

Thanks for dropping in Green and Charly with your thoughts.. much appreciated 🙂

Another good gambling free day.. I am managing to string together quite a few "good headspace" days at the moment.. long may this continue. Seem to be managing my feelings well despite the usual work pressures and my general anxieties within. Swam 30 lengths down the pool this evening.

Tomorrow I think am gonna go out and get sloshed and have a laugh. Next week I have a fairly intense and full week of work and will be steping outside of my comfort zone.. so am gonna enjoy said jolly before all that comes. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi S.A

Many thanks for your support and advice in your recent post on my diary, and well done on another gamble free day.

I'm slowly reading through your diary and i can relate to so much of it especially the early stages which is where i find myself at.

Just reading what others have gone through and how they handled things as they progressed helps a great deal.

So many thanks mate, enjoy your night out, i'm off work now for 3 days too so think i'm gonna go get sloshed too.. lol

Takecare

Morning S.A

Did you get sloshed then?....love that word.

Thanks for posting and thinking of me. I hope things won't be too difficult for you next week with work stuff.

Jas x

Hi SA

Just dropping by to say I think you are truly an inspiration to so many here, me included.

Hope you don't have a hangover:)

Have a great weekend

love

W xx

Hi SA,

thanks for your post. Hope you are not rough today! You sound really self-aware in a good way - knowing you have a busy week ahead, so instead of stressing about it, enjoying yourself while you can.

Anyway, hope you have a good week! thanks again for your support, I think the funk is finally starting to lift a little.

Take care,

f x