How far will I go before I stop

Hi

First get a good nights sleep, second tomorrow don't gamble and from there take it one day at a time. Your head will clear and you will then begin to make the choices that are right for you. But first get through tomorrow. Life should not be like this but we have all been there compulsive gambling is a living hell.

Michael

Angie

again welcome to the forum,I will just say this you are not alone in the fact the depths you will sink to,to feed the addiction that lives within you.

I walked in those shoes.

Take all the help you can get,there is a wealth of it out there,start by phoning the gamcare helpline,they will offer you counselling which I believe will help.

Bottom line is you have to really want to end the madness,you have to commit to giving recovery as much effort as you do your gambling.

The result ultimately will be you will WIN without gambling.

The mantra we all live by whilst in action

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

gets turned upon it's head

it will come,but you have to really want it,I wish you well

Be kind to yourself

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi angie

So sorry that gambling had taken a hold of you again

But very well done for coming back to fight this self destructive addiction

As Duncs says when we are in the grip of this addiction we will find anyway to feed it

I did the same as you with my OH I opened an online bingo account in his name and played with his money

Before Xmas I closed it about a month later after winning his money back and then losing it and redepositing and losing that and then carried on losing a lot more on my own account so you are not on your own

Again as Duncs says you have to really want to commit to stopping it's not easy but taking one day at a time you will fight it and you will win each day you don't play

I wish you the very best and today can be a new beginning for you only you can do it

Take care

Suzanne x

Once again thanks for the support guys. Day 2 gamble free today. Still feeling really guilty, feel like I'm gonna be paying off debts for the rest of my life! 🙁 just know I cannot gamble again because I will end up that depressed that I will end it all. Need to remember that.

Hi angie

Well done on your days

Yes the debts are very daunting and I want them all paid off yesterday but they will get paid off as long as we don't feed that destructive addiction

One day at a time you can do this and a life without wasting our time money and lives has to be so much better think positive and stay strong

Suzanne x

Day 4 today. Trying to use every spare moment of the day wisely. I find the gym very useful, helps me take my stress out and forget about my problems for a few hours!

Congrats on day 4 and yeah working off them frustrations at the gym a excellent way to go. I know your debt feels like forever till gone but the only thing that will make it worse is that gamble. Pay that minimum and more if ya can. Don't spend your days fretting about it and it will disappear. Main thing is not making it worse. Hell girl time is definitely on your side and your learning the bad stuff and what not to do early. Makes for a bright future for ya if ya learn from it. And Yup just got that feeling you will.

Just wanted to wish you well done on 4 days gamble free. I have started again today on Day 1. I have been here so many times and find it so difficult to stop. Keep going and stay strong and positive you can beat this horrid addiction, well done again Su x

Hi angie

Keep going you are doing well stay strong and determined one day at a time and remember er cannot win because we cannot stop but we do win every day we don't play

Suzanne x

Thanks everyone, and your very right Suzanne, we win every day we do not play. Day 5 today.. I keep having moments when I remember what life was like before this addiction took over. Oh to have them days back again 🙂 x

Day 6 today. Still really need the support. I opened an account today 🙁 but luckily I could not play because I was a self excluded player and they closed it before I had chance to play. Don't think there's many more websites I am not self excluded from, which is good. All support welcome, thanks.

I got to confess that lately i don't feel the need to come in here and that got positives and negatives,but i see myself stronger then ever,i stopped playing last December ,i had spend it before so much money that two lifes couldnt recover such amount , i quit for love to my family and i was getting so depressed,well its gone and i do not want to comeback there,22 years playing almost everyday...please Angie take care of yourself and think of all that you love...trust me you will never win nothing cause we gamblers do not know when to stop,there is no chance for a gambler,even if you would win 100000 that would gone back to them...so keep out of money avoid cash cards,in the end you need to go back to old age,no laptop,nothing that would give you am idea...congratulations for your huge effort!!congratulations..

Hi Angie,

That first heart rending post of yours was one I identify with, I remember being in that position, the depression and the overwhelming desire to throw everything in the flames. Don't do it, recovery is possible, and although it can be tough, you can do it.

There is much more to life than gambling, and while I still spend far too much of my day at a computer, now its at work not staring at the spinning pixels of a computer game taking my money.

Those thoughts of ending it are really tough, I know its something I still get months after a final bet, but it does get easier. I'll share with you a poem that helped me realize why I will never end it, I hope it makes sense to you too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUISUncv2yM

You are strong enough to recover, it is something you have within you. The first week is tough, but you fight through this, and you can build on it, and it does get easier with time.

All the best

Ryan