I am what I am

When the ideas come they'll flow like a stream..

Take care 

Boo ???

Hi murlo,

Putting your thoughts on black and white usually is the best herapy ever. Simple cause you can read your thought process...kick yourself or pat yourself on a back...(depending on what you put down ?). 

Dont make your mindset more  exhausted than it already is. I learned that kindness to oneself opens the amazing opportunity to share and explore the whole universe...and believe me, there is more good things to come ?

Take them, you're worth it!

S&B xx

Ps. I did get some sugar...if you dont use it, we can take it for another neighbour to share ?..the more "soldiers" in this army - the better.

I would love that to be the case Boo. I have no idea right now how I will divide my time. There must be an  answer somewhere. Maybe I am worrying too much before I get clarity on one of the demands on my time. 

Think it's natural to have your mind racing.. Its not exactly the best of times to be pressed with work related issues. 

I think wake to a Fresh canvas each day at the moment.. There must be strategies in place for your work issue.. Life does throw up unexpected twists and turns.. But I know you want give your level best to each situation so I applaud you for that..

Sleep well 

Love boo 

???

??

I think I have basically lost the plot. I do this  sort of thing every day for work. I deal with very tricky things. I surely should  just be able to work this out. I always have an answer. I just maybe need to go into work mode and rehearse what I would at do someone else ?

Like I said to russ with his juggling plates.. So are you 

You've lost no plot.. Just had a new script thrown at you by a different writer.... 

The needed skills are there.. As the saying goes the only thing to fear is fear itself.. 

I/we on here can't support you in physical form.. But any other way we are your genies in your lamp..

Night and bless

Boo 

???

Murlo you need to make sure you take care of yourself, it's obvious you care so much about everyone which is great but dont burn your self out that's not what anyone else would want. Try split your time so the jury thing you said you have to go too as for your freind and father in law do what feels right nearer the time maybe spend couple days here and there..you will work out.

and as for in chatroom I know you want to support every one and you seem worried if you feel your not just an observation... but you need to support you too xx

Hope you get some rest 

Loulou

Write, delete, repeat. That’s how it’s going to be today I think so I will return to the diary when I can construct something meaningful. 

Just want to thank you for your support today and yesterday. It really is so appreciated. This may sound weird but I thought you were a guy. Don’t ask me why, no idea. 

Well done you on your personal journey! Seeing and hearing all of my recovering fellow comrades gives me real hope. 

Now going to make a cuppa update the mess that is my diary. Admin merged 2 threads... it’s a long story and god knows why I feel so angry about it. I’m the mess, that’s the problem. Looking forward to reading Russ’s diary after. Thank you for the recommendation xx

keep up the good fight...

Em x

Exhausted. That is it really. Still no real inspiration. Gamble free today x

Dear diary. Gamble free

Not a great deal to update really. Had a lazy morning and then a trip to the hospice with my friend this afternoon for a bit of aromatherapy and relaxation. It was lovely and she really enjoyed it.

My counsellor texted this afternoon and has booked me in on Thurs. Not meant to be going back til mid March but I guess some of my wobbles have been fed back to her. I will be pleased to see her tbh. She sorts me out and makes a great coffee ?

Made a commitment to spend some time  each day just me and hubby while we can. So that’s what we are going to do now. Off for some us time x

Murlo, I've decided to leave gamcare for good. I'm leaving some of the people who have a place in my heart messages, I don't know when my account will get closed but I'm hoping you'll get to see this message before it does. You are like sunshine in a dark room. You are so amazing, strong, kind, thoughtful and even when your going through your own hell, your there for everyone else. I know you won't gamble again. You've got this. Be strong, be proud and take care. 

Stace ♥️

Dear Stace,

I wish I had seen this before your diary closed. I know you are unlikely to see this but I just wanted to send you all my love and best wishes. I hope you know how much I care about you. You have been instrumental in my recovery, a true inspiration x

Morning diary,

I woke up nice and early this morning (maybe less of the nice ?). Feeling at peace and content. That’s a nice start to the day. We are lucky here, the sun is shining and the birds are singing. Beautiful morning. I know that isn’t the case for everyone.

It’s Ash Wednesday so I send my blessings to all who hold this day close to their hearts. 

Love to all x