I have titled my diary the same as my first post on the new members intro page. The reason for this is because it describes where I am perfectly.
Today is day one of no online gambling. I don't go into betting shops so it is only online gambling that is my problem.
Briefly my story is that I have been gambling online for about 2 years - playing the slots (Cleopatra and Pixies of the Forest being my favourite two games). I win and lose all the time but overall I have lost a lot of money. Last weekend my husband was away and I spent almost every waking moment playing games and carried on until there was no money left. This included spending my mortgage money.
Yesterday I 'won' back the mortgage money but I know that I came very close to losing it all.
So, today is the first day of NO GAMBLING.
I will be back later in the hope I can post and say I have got through the day without resorting to the slot machines.
Hi there,
Today is also my first gamble free day. Here's a deal, by the end of the day we both post how we have got on with our gamble free day and the ways we have taken our mind off it?
Ok 🙂
I have already been tempted today but I am determined to be strong!
Hi mjpsmummy,
Starting a diary is a great first step. I too struggle with slots however, I am the opposite. I never got into the online stuff. My partner and I would go to the nearby casino every chance we got. We gambled to the extreme for 10 years or so and lost tens of thousands in the process. We had to consolidate our cash credit card debts as a result and my partner had to file for bankruptcy. If you are gambling the mortgage that's a sure fire sign of trouble. So, good for you for getting started. Have you put blocks on your computer yet? That seems to work for some folks. The hardest reality that we had to accept was that at some point we stopped playing for fun and money. It became more about total emersion into the games and we lost sight of our time, our finances, and in some ways each other. It has been a tough journey but, there are so many good folks on this site who offer regular help and support. Keep writing in your diary. I am many others are rooting for you! Stay strong. -joan
Ok 🙂
I have already been tempted today but I am determined to be strong!
I have been at home all day and so far avoided the temptation. Now is about the time I normally get home from work and usually sit on the sofa and play slots until it is time to go and collect my husband from work. My son sits and plays on the playstation or ipad so never comments on what I am doing. Yesterday I was so absorbed I didn't even acknowledge his request for something to eat until I was just about to go and get his Dad and he asked again. How bad did I feel?
Anyway, today I am distracting myself by posting on here and then I'm going to finish the housework I've started (for the first time in a very long time) and make the tea so it is ready in time for my husband getting home.
This all sounds very mundane but for someone who has spent months playing these games instead of being like a 'normal' Mum and wife this will be a welcome change for me. I know my husband will be over the moon if he comes home to an empty laundry basket, clothes put away and his dinner cooked. He doesn't understand the depression this addiction has got me into and still doesn't know about the enormity of the problem (he thinks I play rarely) but he is aware of some issues I am having. He thinks it is just depression from work and family stress.
I seem to be rambling again but what I'm not doing is gambling so this is a positive move.
well done for not gambling u don't need those machines keep away from them, I used to gamble on roulette online and in the betting offices, I spent a fortune, I managed to stop for about 46 days now. I never want to gamble again it just makes me miserable and I forget all the things that matter in life, my family. its my dads birthday tomorrow and I shall be getting him a card and giving him £20 in the card.
Well done. I have also not gambled at all today! Keep it up!!!!
Anyone reading this and wanting to stop online gambling please download a software blocker to stop you accessing gambling sites. No ifs or buts you must put a block in place. It will give you thinking time when the urges arise. I made out I wanted to stop for ages before I got serious and I used to leave doors open as I knew I wanted to gamble. If you really want to stop you can and you have it in your power to help yourself. Take care
Somehow I have made it to this time without gambling and I feel pretty good! I keep thinking about giving myself a little 'treat' and just depositing £50 on one of my many accounts....
Of course it isn't a treat and I would end up losing the £50 and no doubt a whole lot more.
I WILL stay strong!
Software blocker!
Hi hope all ok I posted on your new intro thread about a question you asked me take care hitthefanx
I have a blocker on my laptop and work pc but the one I am struggling with is my phone. I have yet to find something that will block these sites from my phone.
Still getting through day one!
Well I made it through day one!
Onto day two now 🙂
Almost made it through day two 🙂
Only been tempted a little bit but then I remember how good it felt to get up this morning knowing I didn't spend anything yesterday.
My husband even noticed I was in a better mood today so the feelings of despair at constantly losing must be lifting.
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