In a bet there is a fool and a thief

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Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Day 5. Gambling is everywhere,whenever I switch the tv over;on the radio,talk at my work;is there no escape?

Being vigilant this week,any available money has been moved out of my reach;getting back to a good mindset.

Just for today I shall not gamble

 
Posted : 9th March 2015 6:46 pm
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Back to normality this week,found it impossible last week,no damage done,my little blip out of my system.
Day 2 today;exclusions,blocks back in place.

Whilst gambling my whole world is turned upside down,everything.
My ambitions,dreams,work ethic,sleep pattern.
I have to stay away from that 1st bet however small it may seem.

A day at a time,you can't win cos you can't stop I've prove that to myself the past 3 weeks.

Just for today I shall not gamble

 
Posted : 19th March 2015 6:40 am
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Day 1,- back to basics,the blip in march sent me back to full scale gambling,up at one stage to the inevitable despair of losing then chasing.

It's soul destroying,heart breaking,been living on the edge for the past few weeks,finally admitted to myself enough is enough.

My circle keeps repeating itself,I abstain for 3 or 4 months,then Un do all the hard work in a matter of days,weeks.
Each time it gets harder.
All the blocks I had have been loosened,I need to reinforce them again.
My mind is still spinning with debts;odds ways to retrieve money,the only miracle has been it's taken me nearly 2 months to get to this point.

It's time to shed the stress and start living again,maybe a little bit poorer,but I'm going to be happier,it's time to fight back.

 
Posted : 21st April 2015 7:51 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hey trigger nice to see you back obviously wish it was better circumstances you do worry when people you follow disappear.

One of the best sayings I've ever read on here never give up giving up.

Hope you manage to kick it for good this time mate all the best.

 
Posted : 21st April 2015 8:37 pm
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Thanks taxi man,it really is tough at first,so glad to see your going strong still,keep avoiding that first bet.

A day at a time,I overcome a few urges yesterday.
Buying the milk in the morning I didn't buy a paper or scratch card,a little battle won.

I'm a tiny bit stronger than yesterday,small steps.

Just for today I shall not gamble

 
Posted : 23rd April 2015 4:40 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi trigger,

I've read of your gambling in the last while.youre right It's not easy, it's f##king hard but I hope you find your way to make it work.

Wishing you well. John

 
Posted : 7th May 2015 7:55 pm
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Thanks for your thoughts John.
Yes I've been back to that dark world of gambling.
Time to change my life,I can't carry on like I have the past 10 weeks or so.
Day 1.

 
Posted : 9th May 2015 9:52 pm
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Day 3, a really nice day out yesterday with the family;I forgot all about my woes of gambling.

Everything is still raw at the moment,sick of gambling,need to get back to a day at a time.

Just for today I shall not gamble

 
Posted : 11th May 2015 6:02 am
day@atime
(@dayatime)
Posts: 1345
 

Hi Trigger

What do you think you can do differently this time to give you the best chance in managing your addiction ?

Dan

 
Posted : 11th May 2015 6:21 am
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Good question Dan,I know what to do,self exclude;limit access to funds etc,been trying to quit for years,manage to do 3 months+ and then slip and undo all the hard work;its been a continuous pattern the past few years.

I've set myself a goal of 100 days initially,get myself back on the right track.
I intend to involve my partner more this time,give her control of the finances.
Rome wasn't built in a day,I still want to gamble at present,but I know I will be stronger tomorrow if I get through today.

 
Posted : 11th May 2015 9:41 am
day@atime
(@dayatime)
Posts: 1345
 

Forget nonsense targets, concentrate on what you can change about how you implement change today. Just had a brief look back through your last few posts & in March you said barriers & blocks in place. Obviously they werent in place very securely. You need to think about ways you navigate around your barriers & work out away you cant break them down. Without sounding like a broken record have you tried GA. In my experience people who attend at least once a week very rarely relapse. You have tried it your way, surely its time to try something new. Give it 3 months if your life is not getting better after that feel free to return to the pain & misery that you feel today.

Dan

 
Posted : 11th May 2015 1:41 pm
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Thanks for your post Dan,halfway through your diary;it's gave me a lot of food for thought thank you,I appluad you on your 8 years.

My thoughts even when gambling are how to stop;I know it's wrong for me;I've been on this road for 15 years plus,I'm an addict who is in denial half the year thinking I can have a small wager,drip feeding the beast inside.

I went to ga regularly from 2000 for over a year then on and off;it become very clicky with the more senior members,I was silent in the corner listening to there work and other non gambling related problems.
It ain't for me,circumstances now make it impossible to attend.
I take more through reading on here.
Small steps,my thought process is changing,more effort is needed but I'm back on the right path.
Just for today I shall not gamble

 
Posted : 12th May 2015 6:12 am
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Day 7 of nonsense target of 100 days,wages paid out,left myself a few quid to survive.

Keep taking things a day at a time and keep busy.

Just for today I shall not gamble

 
Posted : 15th May 2015 7:56 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi trigger

Ga is not for me either, and I get loads out of here it's brilliant and one day at a time helping me..

 
Posted : 15th May 2015 8:10 pm
Trigger
(@trigger)
Posts: 266
Topic starter
 

Day 14, times moving fast,been keeping very busy.
Thoughts a plenty about gambling,working through the urges,barriers,lack of avaliable funds helping.

Two weeks on,I'm feeling much more relaxed,I'm getting better.

Just for today I shall not gamble.

 
Posted : 22nd May 2015 8:20 pm
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