Is relapsing going to define you?

I have read many posts here where the heartache of relapse has been discussed or ventilated.

Relapsing ( however horrible it sounds) is quite normal in recovery. In this type of addiction even more so.

We are at disadvantage of having a hijacked mind when in most parts living perfectly normal life.

To accept that your mind could be telling you straight lies and fibs is to many a pretty hard sale. That is how we all have been living up till now right so how could that be wrong? 

Trust me it is, and you are being lied to by your own mind. Question now is how you react to that news? 

You are not going to go through this addiction with 1 abstention and with flying colours. Some people relapse often and regularly.

It is ok. We are meaning making machines and we are driven both by habitual behaviours and by what our previous past have taught us to do so in short we do the same things on repeat but when it is all about spending hundreds if not thousands of pounds per go it all gets to a point of violent desperation.

Without to much thought. Use tactics. Get blockers / give away control of your finances for a while/ change your everyday behaviour and do something new because that is how new paths open up. Be aware and constructively critical, but also try and forgive yourself more because some of this addiction could be about you not liking yourself so much and that can not continue if you want to get better.

So forgive yourself. Be kinder to yourself and start to take some proper responsibility of your own actions.

It starts and ends with what you do from this point. If you decide to do something else today you will.

I wish you well!

Best

C