I have read many posts here where the heartache of relapse has been discussed or ventilated.
Relapsing ( however horrible it sounds) is quite normal in recovery. In this type of addiction even more so.
We are at disadvantage of having a hijacked mind when in most parts living perfectly normal life.
To accept that your mind could be telling you straight lies and fibs is to many a pretty hard sale. That is how we all have been living up till now right so how could that be wrong?
Trust me it is, and you are being lied to by your own mind. Question now is how you react to that news?
You are not going to go through this addiction with 1 abstention and with flying colours. Some people relapse often and regularly.
It is ok. We are meaning making machines and we are driven both by habitual behaviours and by what our previous past have taught us to do so in short we do the same things on repeat but when it is all about spending hundreds if not thousands of pounds per go it all gets to a point of violent desperation.
Without to much thought. Use tactics. Get blockers / give away control of your finances for a while/ change your everyday behaviour and do something new because that is how new paths open up. Be aware and constructively critical, but also try and forgive yourself more because some of this addiction could be about you not liking yourself so much and that can not continue if you want to get better.
So forgive yourself. Be kinder to yourself and start to take some proper responsibility of your own actions.
It starts and ends with what you do from this point. If you decide to do something else today you will.
I wish you well!
Best
C
Hi
A relapse is some thing we learn from..
What was my last emotional trigger.
What was my build up to the alst bet.
Some people clap people on being honest in the meeting after the last realpse.
We understand how difficult and panful it is going back to the meetings.
Yet going to meetings is very important no matter when your last bet was.
It took me over 20 years going back and forth to meetings.
Those painful 20 years were an investment in to understanding each of my emotionalt riggers.
With high levels of fears we tend to go in to panick mode, where we are not able to think thinsg out clearly.
The recovery program is about healing the hurt inner child in us.
The recovery program is also about facingeach one of our fears one by one.
With less fear less anxiety and far less panicking.
It takes along time to not need or want the adrenlaine rush in our life any more.
Gambling was not my problem I was the problem.
Money was never going to resolve my deep seated emotional issues.
Love and peace to every one
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham UK
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