It's a marathon not a sprint

Hi everyone

Been incredibly busy but still been on the forum the odd night looking at diarys and commenting on the odd thing.

Life's good! Approaching the 200 mark very quickly. Surprised how quick it has actually gone. Just been on holiday with the lads skiing and for a festival and it was fantastic. No money worries or worrying about the grand national. The first one I haven't bet on since I was 17. Only downside is I've been missing a few of my GA meetings lately due to everything. But I have been going to other meetings the odd week so I hope that has made up for it.

Wishing everyone all the best.

Dan

Day 294

I can't believe how quick it's gone. Life is good. Still making 2 GA meetings a week which have been vital in my recovery. No massive urges but I still think about gambling occasionally, more so about the bad memories.... But I am good. Still have my barriers in place but I want them there forever if I'm honest. It has helped not having to worry about money. Hope everyone is well and staying gamble free.

Dan

Congratulations on 42 weeks Dan...So good to hear updates like this 🙂 Also lovely to see things working out for you living with your girlfriend...That's a huge step to have taken & good on you for finding the strength to do so!

Keep making those changes for the better - ODAAT

Thanks for the reply ODAAT I really appreciate it. Hope everything is good with you.

Day 297 - The 300 day mark is approaching fast, I can't believe how quick it's gone. It's frightening to think if a return to gambling can cause years of damage is such a short space of time. That's what's helping to also keep me off gambling. I know I can't ever gamble again if I want to be happy. One bet wouldn't be enough and I'd be stuck in the same hole I was almost a year ago. It almost feels like being in a nightmare and I've now woken up and seeing what the world can be like and how I portray it. I have dreams and aspirations again and they are achievable. Gambling took those from me and all that seemed to be in my life was pain, guilt and self loathing. I now feel happy.

Thanks for reading

Dan

Hi any advice from people would be amazing. I've got a problem with gambling, have done for years but only really admitted it 6months ago when my girlfriend found out all the trouble i was in. I've been to counselling sessions that massively helped me, I didn't think about gambling and was so fixed on getting sorted and clearing my debts.

But in this time I have caved in twice, most recently today which is why I'm here. I go weeks without thinking about a bet then boom I do it thinking I have control and I've just blown £700 in the matter of minutes. My girlfriend is my absolute world and has been there through it all but every time I screw it all up again, ruin her trust and break her into a million pieces. It kills me but I cannot help what I'm doing and when this happened the last time she told me if it happened again we were done.. well it has happened and I'm dreading her finding out, which she will soon.

Just when things look good again, clearing lots of debt, working hard and building our relationship up again I ruin it all. I'm at breaking point, I don't wanna lose my girlfriend but i know she is better off without me!! I've had the counselling, banned myself online and had ni control of anything but slowly I gain the control back and I think that's the problem.. how long do I have to go without a bank card or access to money...

I have such a great life, good job, amazing friends and family, own out flat and am ridiculously in love with my girlfriend.. but I keep doing this and it can't carry on.

The way I look at it mate, is if things are working then why give it up? If you feel someone watching or looking after your finances helps then why go back to same old? My girlfriend has my online banking details, I can't access it. I have 2 bank cards, she has the one and I have the other and she just transfers me money as of when I need it. A really easy and effective way I believe. If you have someone watching and scruntinising your finances then it is a massive deterrent to stop gambling period.

Hope this advice helps

Day 310

Crazy how fast it's gone.

No gambling urges really. Barriers still in place and going GA twice a week. Girlfriend was on holiday for a week so been on my own and it's been driving me mad really. Work and then home to not speak to anyone. So grateful to have GA in my life otherwise I don't know where I would be, probably in a gutter somewhere...

Made a lot of friends there too which helps. Writing down my thoughts and going on gamcare to read the stories helps too. Just finishing work now and not back for over 2 weeks. A holiday to Gran Canaria on Monday for 14 days thanks to not gambling.

Hope everyone is okay and staying gamble free

Just seen your post on the rebate thread...Kudos to you Brummyboy! Don't let false promises pull you off course now you are finally living!

Know you've been back a couple of weeks now but hope you had a cracking holiday 🙂

Hi ODAAT

Apologies for slow reply, did see the message but forgot to reply... Hope your well and thank you for the kind words.

Day 354

Life is ticking over very nicely and the gamble free days are quickly mounting up. Still attending GA twice a week whiin ch I intend to do for a very long time. No gambling urges really. I see GA as my medicine for the week which I then go back for and so on. Got my 1 year pin at GA in just under 2 weeks which I'm pretty nervous about. My girlfriend is coming to see it which makes me extra nervous.... Got some words prepared about my life and how has the gambling got etc.

My birthday is in 3 weeks also where I've got loads planned. Thorpe park for the day with my girlfriend, meal with family and a night out with my friends. A complete opposite day compared to last year where I had no money, girlfriend had left me, £10000 worth of debt and the way I saw it, no future. The way my life was going I would of ended up killing myself because I had no future if gambling was in my life. Hope to think it's all behind me and I will keep trying my best to not be complacent.

Dan

Day 364

Nearly at the big year..... Didn't think I could get here and I can't quite believe how quick it's gone. But I realise this is just a small step on a life long road of recovery. At GA they say the 2nd and 3rd years are harder so I need to be on my guard 24/7 and not be complacent. What a year it's been though. Moved out my mom and dad's, and did things I never thought would be possible through gambling. Met some fantastic people who have helped to change my life for better. I actually see a future now.

Hi Brummyboy, your entry into the 3% club slipped by unnoticed here...I hope you were recognised @ GA & a huge well done from me 🙂

I couldn’t agree with your last post more...Although I have only been clean since I started GA, my recovery started just over 3 years ago now & it’s really only of late that life just seems calm.

Keep fighting for your future - ODAAT

Thanks for the post and the kind words ODAAT. Since the year gamble free it is just flying by. Life seems to just be going at 100mph. Had an offer for a house accepted and just trying to sort all of this out. It's been stressful but it's calming down although I seem to just be panicking about if the mortgage will go through or not... I have a decent credit score now and been debt free for nearly a year but I won't lose sleep if I don't get the mortgage. Just been accepted for volunteer working with Aquaruis which I will start in the new year. Hoping my addiction experience will help others and I want to give back to something that helped me so much.

Hope all is well in the world ODAAT.

Dan

I have not posted on this site for a very long time but have always browsed the odd time. Life at the moment has been fantastic since I stopped gambling over 2 years ago. My life was a complete and utter mess and I couldn’t see a way out of it. With help from GA and my partner I managed to sort myself out and as I stopped gambling, my life started to repair itself piece by piece. I have also made changes to my life and became a better person. I used to have a terrible temper, cry all the time and have regular suicidal thoughts but all of this has gone. I regularly volunteer with a charity that specialises in addiction which I believe helps keep my on the right track and to see just why I cannot go back to it. I attend GA every week also so I am always busy. I do believe I needed change and structure to my life. 2 years is merely a drop in the ocean as to where I want to be so it is still a work in progress. In regards to stopping gambling you have to be selfish and do what you think is best for you. No one can force you to stop as you will always find a way. You need to want it. I am thankful to have had the support off my partner who forgave me and took me back. I am glad to have been able to help contribute and give her a better life such as both being debt free, a home and a dog that we both love to pieces. Before I stopped gambling I was still living at my mom and dads with £15000 worth of debt.

It is just nice to feel what I believe is normal.

Well done it’s really important to keep your guard up whilst inspiring others to believe recovery and a more fulfilling life is possible even though as you say it all takes time.

Haven’t been on in a very long time and I’m on a night shift so I thought I would give an update on my life. 

I still regularly attend GA every Monday (work permitting), and volunteer with Aquarius. I run my own support group for Compulsive gamblers which I feel I get a lot out of even now. I understand and believe doing these things are so vital and without them I think I may fall back into gambling. It’s good to have a driving force in your life and structure. I think these are key to recovery. If you don’t change your life then how do you expect to stop gambling. 

Been a homeowner for around 18 months now with my partner and my dog. Both of them mean everything and I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for them. I’ve also been engaged since March and have my wedding booked for 2021. Something else to focus on. 

Stopping was something I thought I could never achieve and it all now seems like a distant nightmare and I’m just glad it’s over. 

Life does get stressful and hard but it’s just nice to feel normal and not have the added stress of gambling.