JW's Recovery

Day 135

Thanks San!

Nothing to report today just wanted to wish anyone who is reading a Merry and Gamble Free Christmas!

JW

Hi JW

Nice to treat ourselves with spur of the moment trips, after all, we can afford it now we aren’t gambling!

You are doing great, keep going.

Shaun

Day 141

Thanks Shaun!

Well here we are, New Years Eve. I've never been one to buy into all of this and don't think I ever will be, however today does seem like a good day to reflect on 2018 and look forward to a much brighter and positive 2019.

141 Days ago I may not have been at rock bottom, as some of the situations gambling had previously led me to were much worse than that, however I had reached a point where I knew it was now or never. If I didn't quit gambling for good at that point then I was effectively kissing goodbye to any sort of worthwhile future, and find it hard to believe I would have lived even into my 30's to be brutally honest. It was as if a switch inside me had been flicked and with a lot of help and support I was able to completely change my entire mindset and the way I think about or perceive gambling.

And now, 141 Days later, I have paid off more debt in just under 5 months than I have the last 8 years, am on the verge of moving back in with my amazingly supportive girlfriend (who I'm ever so lucky to be heading off to Prague with for a nice 2 night break on Wednesday), and can actually picture the future I never thought I could have.

I am by no means trying to make any of this sound easy, after all I am still over £15K in debt and my chances of ever getting a mortgage of my own are extremely low, however all of my debts are now manageable, and there will be tougher times ahead as this coming year I will certainly have to increase my payments considerably. However making smaller payments initially and treating myself to new clothes and little trips away has really helped me to see how much better life can be without gambling and has probably been imperative towards what is still to come.

I am starting to ramble now so will bring this to a close by saying here's to new beginnings and fresh starts for us all in 2019.

JW

Hi JW

Debts coming down, girlfriend situation looking good and more importantly still gamble free. Things are looking up, well done. Happy new year.

Shaun

Happy 142 days JW!

Have a fab time in Prague!

JW_ wrote: Day 141 Thanks Shaun! Well here we are, New Years Eve. I've never been one to buy into all of this and don't think I ever will be, however today does seem like a good day to reflect on 2018 and look forward to a much brighter and positive 2019. 141 Days ago I may not have been at rock bottom, as some of the situations gambling had previously led me to were much worse than that, however I had reached a point where I knew it was now or never. If I didn't quit gambling for good at that point then I was effectively kissing goodbye to any sort of worthwhile future, and find it hard to believe I would have lived even into my 30's to be brutally honest. It was as if a switch inside me had been flicked and with a lot of help and support I was able to completely change my entire mindset and the way I think about or perceive gambling. And now, 141 Days later, I have paid off more debt in just under 5 months than I have the last 8 years, am on the verge of moving back in with my amazingly supportive girlfriend (who I'm ever so lucky to be heading off to Prague with for a nice 2 night break on Wednesday), and can actually picture the future I never thought I could have. I am by no means trying to make any of this sound easy, after all I am still over £15K in debt and my chances of ever getting a mortgage of my own are extremely low, however all of my debts are now manageable, and there will be tougher times ahead as this coming year I will certainly have to increase my payments considerably. However making smaller payments initially and treating myself to new clothes and little trips away has really helped me to see how much better life can be without gambling and has probably been imperative towards what is still to come. I am starting to ramble now so will bring this to a close by saying here's to new beginnings and fresh starts for us all in 2019. JW

Nothing wrong with rambling. I read your first post and now to read this is that girlfriend makes me really happy. You keep smiling, you got a belting girl there don't go mess it up. Maybe your propose or she will you in Prague. Very proud of you! Bella xx

Day 148

Had a wonderful time in Prague with the girlfriend, maybe a bit too early for proposals just yet Bella! Haha. Was just nice to go away somewhere knowing I had enough money to cover what we wanted to do.

Had such a vivid dream last night of being in a bookies and fighting with myself to try and put a bet on, then woke up and for a few seconds actually thought I had. I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. Not really sure where that came from but I guess it's just a little reminder to stay on my toes.

Went for a run yesterday and felt brilliant for it. I have decided to set myself the ambitious target of running a marathon, I'm predicting it'll take me about 10 months to prepare for it but why not!? Will probably have to cut down on the beers and eat a bit better but that can only be good for me too.

Back to work on Saturday after a mega 4 and a half weeks off (because of the planned Australia trip we had to cancel after my last incident), so that will probably be a shock to the system.

Anyway that's all from me for now, hope everyone is keeping up the fight.

JW

i've really enjoyed reading through your diary. Keep up the amazing journey that you've created fro yourself with strong will power.

You should be very proud and hopefully, people checking in on you and reading your story will inspire you to keep going. You've certainly inspired me!

Day 160

Thanks bdog that's really nice to hear!

Nothing much to report to be honest just didn't want to leave it too long before writing anything. Whilst I may not post on here anywhere near as much I do still make sure I read a few posts every day, it certainly keeps me motivated.

Hope everyone has a lovely GF weekend!

JW

Hi JW

Just scanned through your diary and really enjoyed it. You have done really well and you are obviously living a much more fulfilling life now.

Keep up the good work. Don’t get complacent and continue to post now and then. It’s important not to forget the destruction that gambling brings.

Well done so far.

Wow, love reading this diary. Really does inspire me. Well done on how far you have come 🙂

Xx

Day 167

Thank you both for the kind comments. The dreaded nightshift weekend is upon me once again, and the girls have a football match this morning so should get a nice 3 hours sleep once I get home before I'm back up again ... oh dear!

My counselling sessions have became a little less regular now and I only have one a month, I think that suits me well for where I'm at with everything. This weeks topic was how I'm going to attempt to build some bridges with my girlfriend's parents, we haven't spoken since before I was GF and I fear it may be near impossible to have the relationship we used to. Personally I could probably live with it as all I want to focus on is myself but I know how important this is to her so I'll try everything in my power to make things right. I've decided to write them a letter, that way I get to make all the points I need to and avoid an initial confrontation ...

Wish me luck!

JW

Day 189

Whilst it's been over 3 weeks since I last updated my diary I still visit the site every day to do some reading and see how everyone is getting on.

Unfortunately this morning I have been left angry and upset at some of the comments aimed at myself and someone else on the site. Without wanting to cause anymore debate or argument on the matter I think that the time might be right for me to take a small break from the site. While I can accept that not everyone may agree with my methods or the way I approach my recovery, I cannot accept being spoken to the way I have been.
This site was the biggest factor in the early stages of my recovery however I feel that now it is turning into something different for me.

I will definitely be back at some point in the future and hope those of you who have been kind enough to support me along this road continue to live a happy and gamble free life.

JW

No. How many times will I have to ask you to stop and leave me alone before you actually do?

GA works for some people. It doesn't for me. I only went to one meeting. I disagree with not having control of my own finances, tried having someone else do it before and it made me want to gamble more. I am now in a happy situation and have full control over my own finances.
Everyone is different, there are many other "right" ways. Not just yours.

Day 264

Well it has been almost 3 months since my last post on here although I will admit I do stop by and check up on people’s progress now and again. 

The first thing I want to say is that I would simply like to draw a line under all of the controversy and arguments I was involved in previously. Yes I spend £1 a week at work to be involved in a social activity that does have the possibility of winning money. If people want to call me an active gambler then I am fine with that. The most important thing for me personally is that it is 264 days since I last placed an actual sports bet either online or in a bookies. That is all I focus on these days.

I guess the reason I’ve decided to post again today was just to offer some hope to all the new users of the site, there is a way out and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I may still be in a lot of debt but for the first time in my adult life I am in a comfortable financial position. I have a small amount of savings and I know that all of my debts are in a manageable and affordable agreement. 

I can also see why so many of you have complained about the new layout of the site, certainly a lot more confusing and harder to navigate than the previous one. 

Anyway, here’s to a nice long gamble free bank holiday weekend!

JW