Ok so it's DAY 1.....
So after 8 months of serious online gambling I've decided to try and tackle this once and for all.
Tired of sleepless nights & spending money in the wrong place which is affecting my kids & partner but they don't even know it.
Thanks to this site & those who chose share their experience I now feel I'm ready to do something about it.
Due to excess time (reducing hours at work as can't afford childcare costs) I got into online slots, won a bit and it continues from there. So now I am in a debt managent plan...so no form of credit to feed my habit but need to stop using my own. As it stands for this month owe 300 for rent and nursery payment due in couple days. hoping to sort out some sort of payment arrangement with them...clear in full by end of month...then if I can not gamble it shld b onwards n upwards from here.
Wish me luck
All support greatly appreciated
Hello I have just joined, day 1 also, I read your post, and mine is quite similar. It all started around four years ago, I was working in a bookmakers, (never had a bet prior to this job) while I was working my manager gave me one pound out of the till to, go to the rival bookmakers two minites up the road, to do a test bet. (So she could tell how many bets they had taken that day to compare) I dont understand why we didnt just ask each other. And it started from there, small stakes maybe three pounds a day. Then I got my own online gambling accout, and started depositing £5_10 at a time for horse betting. After a while small bets wasnt giving me the same buzz. I got out pay day loans to bet with. At this point my partner had no idea. I left working in a bookies, and I was still gambling, I was well and truly addicted, spening large chunks of my wages, not paying the proper ampount of rent. My partner has gave me an ultimatum, stop the gambling or loose us.( partner and child) I was betting on stuff I knew nothing about and wasnt even interested in. NBA MLB anything that was on when I got home from work. the most recent and the reason I have decided to try to stop. Yesterday 8th june 2015 i used my partners card to gamble £250 of her wages and I lost it all. That money was suppose to pay council tax, electric bill , and get my daugter some new trainers. Fortunatly I have been bailed out by my grandad who has agreed to pay these bills and get my daugters trainers. I have to stop befor I loose everyone.
GOOD LUCK LADY H,
You have taken the first step (and lucky for you its only taken 8 months to realise most people wait years and have uncontrollable debt) - admitting it is a problem is the hardest thing to do. Its going to be hard but you CAN do it!!!!
The first month will be the hardest - take it 1 day at a time. If you can do a whole month i guarantee you will see a difference financially - once you start reaping the rewards it will spur you on more.
Just tell yourself i will just not gamble today each day - break it into smaller goals
Wishing you the best of luck xxxxx
Welcome to the forum lady h,
On line slots is my addiction, and just too easy to access.But there is a triangle that is used on here and it surely works,
TIME MONEY LOCATION, take one of these away and it's impossible to play.
I wish you the very best on your journey of recovery
Take care.
Suzanne xx
Day 2.....
just like to start by saying thank u to u guys for the response. Callum keep your chin up & good luck to you...I work with money too which makes things harder. Wants2stop u diary has been an inspiration I must say & I wish thank u I will deffo look into that.
Last nite I had a bit of a lapse...didn't deposit , but as soon as I got an email to say I got a £10 bonus...2 secs later I was logged in and played away the bonus...but closed the account down straight after...proves this is going to be much harder than I thought!!
Have rang the nursery and paid 2 thirds of the bill and will clear remainder on payday.
Will admit I am struggling today...having urge to put on just a tenner on a diff site ....thinking my lucks bound to be in today...can turn that into 200....but being on here is giving me strength not to....must think another day another dollar saved. Gonna get my lil lady and take her to the park....mind needs to focus on something else xx
Just keep yourself busy 🙂 Those bloody emails i still get them - advice is dont even open them just delete straight away. I probably get 5 a day and i know if i opened them and went on the site i would end up depositing. Glad you have made it to day 2 a lot of people dont. Keep it up i know you can 🙂
Day 3......
spoke with landlord they're fine with me paying rent on payday so will b back square soon.
No urge to gamble!!
Wants2stop....I know even get them from sites I ain't even joined....had 3 more 2day...but I clicked the unsubscribe button...:-) ...xxx
Day 3 & 4.....
yesterday was a good day..worked all day and then chilled with the family watching movies and Chinese ....usually it would have been me sat in the corner on my phone playing slots/bingo.
Today made sure I was up and out the house early as deffo knew I would have been tempted, met up with a long lost friend who took me to lunch and confessed my gambling addiction ...felt good and we've made plans to make sure we go on an adventure each month as a treat for me not gambling as long as I don't fail x
Day 4 & 5.....
Failure failure failure!!! Yesterday...well Sunday mornings are the worst for me....my partner has his ly in and I get everything done in the house and that's when it got me...I had time on my hands...10er deposited....150 made....80 withdrawn , then woke up this morn reversed withdrawal and it's all gone. Thought I was doin well this week....clearly not!! Feel embarrassed ...glad I lost it all in a wierd way as probably wld have deposited again. Pay day nxt week and I don't want lose it to this. Self excluded from the site and its sister ones. Give me strength !!!
Hi Lady h, welcome to recovery 🙂
I just had a read through this thread & am wondering if you are aware there is blocking software out there? K9 I understand is free but there are others & Gamcare will be able to advise you (they have a sticky thread on it but I don't recall the name)! Win or lose, the feelings of hurt & disgust are the same...Gambling takes more from us than just money!
Draw a line under this blip & move forwards - ODAAT
Dont stop trying - today is another day start again 🙂
Day 6.....
Thank u odaat & want2stop.
Yesterday was a good day, made sure I was busy & the urge wasn't so bad. Think the nice weather helps as was outside most of the time.
Today has been ok too, just kept myself busy and going to see my mum later...so it's been 2 days clear...next 2 days shld b ok as working. Pay day tues please keep me strong x
Day 1 again....
Thoughts of suicide...thinking my family wld benefit financially if I did...don't want to do it...not even thinking of how to do it....
Everything was goin good until I got paid...had even self excluded...but then opened some new ones thinking I Cld control it. ...not!!
Looked back at my bank stats for this mon around £450 spent on online bingo sites...nursery Bill due on fri £405, money in my ac £20. Will call them 2morra n hope they will let me pay nxt week on payday...even feel worse knowing I even won £300 and actually managed to withdraw it and still took a £150 payday loan and got nothing left.
So last gambled 2day at around 1pm...have self excluded...it needs to stop.
I wanna tell my partner sooo bad.
Please help me...
Welcome back H even though it's not good news, but it's not bad either because you are asking for help, you want to arrest this horrible addiction.
Maybe it is time to tell your partner, all, I know how hard it is, but if not now, it will come out,
Honesty now is the first step forwards but once you have taken this hard step, it will be easier to move forwards.
Sending you positive and strong thoughts and keep close to your diary to vent, it helps.
Suzanne xxx
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