Hi everyone
Continuing with the film titles for the topic, the reference is to Liar Liar (1997) starring Jim Carey, it's not something my family have called me hundreds of times.Â
I wanted to write something on the topic which is dear to many of the hearts of members on here. Like some films, I feel the subject has three episodes to it.
I think one of the biggest reasons that kept me gambling was people finding out. It's something I thought about all the time and that idea of facing up to people was unbearable and kept me in the addiction. As anyone knows who read my story, there was a form of intervention that people would find out about but I gave up before anything happened on that side. I was broken and without thinking told all of family.Â
I had always thought, to name to well known phrases, would the truth set me free ? Or couldn't they handle the truth ?Â
The relief of telling the truth and the whole truth was liberating for me and met with a mixture of support and devastation. I still maintain it was the right thing to do for them. I knew that this was my opportunity to empty the whole dustbin and I can tell you that when something came out after a month, that I forget about it was so much worse. Anyone going to come clean, don't hold anything back at all. It felt so good to be released of this chains even though I knew the consequences. I'm not writing this to tell anyone what to do, it's a personal choice.
Episode two was strange as I told everyone they could ask me any question at all and I would answer honestly. The problem with this is because of all the lies and burying the hurt in my mind, I had to second guess myself and stutter to make sure I knew what the truth was. It was such a weird situation and very grounding to know the damage I had done to my own mental wellbeing, not being able to remember whether a statement was true or false.
Episode three, it's just so amazing to tell the truth all the time. Surely there is only one truth but there are a thousand possible lies. I would rather walk away from a situation having told the truth and be able to fall back on that
For 44 years I was a compulsive gambler, thinker, liar and thief. From 19th November last year I've told the truth.Â
Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this subject. Also are there any other topics to talk about on here ?
Coming clean was the hardest, worst, and best day of my life. I know I was going to devastate people. I know it was going to make me feel so worthless. It was hands down the worst day of my life. But after I felt so free. I got it all out there and it was liberating. The burden was gone. 30 years or so of gambling. Hiding truths. Hiding my habit. Finding money from somewhere. Not having to do that felt amazing. Such a weird feeling. I’d ruined my wife’s life. She was broken, and I felt guilty that I felt happy to be unburdened.Â
For me, coming clean was the most important step. It made me accountable. It forced me to take action. It made me realise what I’d been doing. Gambling, no matter what you think, doesn’t just impact you. It tears families apart. It hurts everyone around you. The only way to end it, in my opinion, is to own up. Once it’s done, there’s no going back. You may have to fight to keep relationships, but you’ll hurt would 100% lose that person if you kept going.Â
Some people try to quit without the coming clean phase. I tried for years. Eventually it has to be done.Â
Just my humble thoughts on the matter!!
Stay strong 💪Â
Hi mate
I completely agree with what you are saying. I do think the addiction kept telling me, if you do tell everyone then there is no going back. It felt so final but, like you it was liberating
I was caught, my options were like my way out as I had done for most my life or tell the truth and hope my wife was understanding enough to work together to fix it. The reality was this wasn't about my wife at all I was at a cross roads, I'm approaching 30 and most my life has been lies and poor choices, one after one to protect myself for the truth, the cold reality of being an addict in some form or another for more than half my life. I wanted a future, one better than the current path it was hard, really hard knowing the damage I had done, the pain I had caused and the reality for some that they didnt know the real me just the addict. But for me that was the start of repairing a lifetime of hurt, a lifetime of survival and choices made through no alternative, for the first time I chose myself, it was hard but it was worth it and therapy is slowly teaching me how and why I always acted and felt this way and how to correct that part of my brain and nervous systemÂ
Hi Jake
Powerful share mate. I know it's been said a million times but when the plane is crashing we have to put our own mask on to save anyone else. Like you said, nothing will work out unless we sort ourselves out first however alien that feelsÂ
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