Life begins again

Hi Suzanne

Thanks for the post on my diary

Life gets better every day and only because I've let go of the past. I live with nothing but honesty in it now. I'm happier than I think I've ever been things get thrown at me and I deal with them. If they get me down it lasts for hours or minutes rather than weeks or months

My life has changed. It's almost Unrecognizable.

I have the most amazing people around me.

I'm one of the lucky ones now

Just as you are without gambling in your life x

Good morning diary

Day 74

And it's pay day and my second goal done and dusted

2 PD loans paid off today

As Shaun says not to get over confident as we know what might happen but I have no wish whatsoever to gamble any of my wages today

After seeing most of my money being paid out to debt through gambling why would I want to add even more debt and have to pay out even more next month

No gambling and no PD loans for 74 days feels good

And next pay day I should be 100 better off And pay another PD loan off which will then leave 6

So I will stay strong positive determined and sane as I carry on this path

There is only one thing I am being SELFISH about now and that is not spending even one penny on gambling

I won't be playing today because I simply don't want to

Have a stress free gambling free day all

Suzanne xx

Morning Suzanne

The days are flying by and your doing so well , taking small steps setting achievable targets is the best way and will ultimately get you to your long term goal

As always continued best wishes in your recovery

Castle2

Hi Suze,

Well your days are mounting up and with that our confidence grows......What a feeling!

Woop whoop...song coming on lol

Keep looking forward, the future is bright!

Sue xxx

Hey S

Great seeing u marching on and keeping the good work up!!! Really proud of you and more than happy to march alongside you 🙂 even if I won't catch u up lol..i'm still here 🙂

Take care and hav a peaceful stress free day

S x

Goods afternoon diary

Day 75 and have no interest whatsoever in gambling

Have just finished a double shift late finish and early start where I only get around 3 hours sleep but am now in garden relaxing until my full shift tomorrow

This forum has been essential for me to keep away from spending even one penny from gambling and to read on here today that Shellyb and castle have found something with each other which is an honest friendship no money in the world can buy that

True friendship comes with total HONESTY and I am so pleased that something good and honest has come from the self destructive addiction of gambling

It affects both sides I know because I live with my other half everyday and I see it in him but we have total HONESTY with each other and that is why I one day at a time will never let him doubt me again

I am so pleased for Shellyb and castle both on different sides of the fence having been through so much but something really good has come out of it an honest and supportive friendship

I want to thank both of them because it makes me appreciate and realise more what REAL life is about

Which is simply LIVING without a secret addiction that can destroy us and all around us

I know my choice today to live without secrecy

and destruction why would I really want to gamble my life away and lose everything

I will not be playing today because I am not interested in going back to what I can only describe as HELL

Wishing everyone a happy peaceful and honest gambling free evening

Suzanne xx

Good morning diary

Day 76

Long day at work today looking forward to day off tomorrow

No thoughts of gambling at all

Had a bit of stress yesterday in the afternoon with neighbour over her dogs Have not spoken to her for over a year it's a long story but quite stressed me yesterday and still upsetting me this morning

What some people get away with makes me so mad

That could have sent me straight to slots but I kept well away else I would be feeling even worse this morning

So I feel quite stressed before work

I am finding that since abstaining I cannot deal with a lot of stress slightest negative thing comes my way and I get stressed and that is not good

But I definitely won't be playing today because I feel stressed enough already today

Wishing all a good and positive stress free gambling day

Suzanne xx

Suzanne

take a step back and breathe my dear friend,you have come a long way in your 76 days,don't let the actions of others be the trigger to let addiction back in the doors,as you wrote the stress will only be piled on.

Funny I have a neighbor who for ten years has been offensive on many occasions towards my family even visitors,with irony I have only seen it for the past two and a half years as before that I couldn't give a f**k.

We have done a great deal of work on our garden and deep cleaned the outside of our house this year,he kept asking why??

Then stopped us both when we came home with the hounds and said 'your not moving are you,because you are great neighbors'

he said folk only clean up when they are selling up,made me think hard about all the time I wasted in the act of gambling,today I won't be wasting a minute,not on my addiction or listening to my neighbor,front doors are wonderful things!!!

Don't work too hard.

Be proud of who you becoming,enjoy it.

You earned it.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Suzanne,

For me, stress in all its forms is one of my biggest triggers to gambling. Sounds like working a little less and getting more sleep will help to deal with those stressful situations (like with your neighbour) as they come and go.

Easy to say isn't it? I have also been working lots and permanently knackered through all my cycling and running, that its affected my mental health and hence my ability to deal with stress.

But simply recognising it and still choosing not to gamble (as you are!) is the main thing. So well done to you... I think your doing mighty fine. Thanks for your support... S.A 🙂

Hi S

And yes I agree with the guys here. Personally for me tiredness, boredom, stress and emotionally drained mindset is the main triggers welcoming urges over. Especially if I get into "f-ck it, I don't care" mode, is the biggest danger of them all.

You are doing the right thing and acknowledging your feelings. Yes, let them come for now, but you know well yourself that they will soon pass. Such is life, and it is continues ride with ups and downs. Be proud girl, you are great and strong fighter. Ride the storms out and enjoy the gifts this recovery offers.

Sun always comes out after the storm and days like that is something amazing to treasure.

Keep it up, upwards and onwards you go!!!

Sandra x

ps. As of neighbours lol...hmmm..don't get me started on mine lol. But I suppose we need sharks in the sea alongside calm and quiet fishes lol

Thanks Duncs SA and Sandra does mean a lot to me to get support from you guys

Dear diary

Hard day at work work load gets bigger by the day and of course staffing levels get less

Still feelng anxious like I have done something wrong but I haven't

I love dogs and they have always been in my life on and off I have a little yorkie terrier but next door have taken the P*** they now have 14 dogs yes 14 dogs 11 greyhounds which are kept in two outhouses in the garden and 3dogs are kept in the house two being staffies

So when one barks they all go on one say no more this barking goes on throughout the day and night on and off

Having not spoken to them for over a year had the shock of my life when my neighbour shouted at me very abusively because I told the dogs to shoo as they were poking their noses through my fence and obviously barking I have tried everything to see what I can do but there is nothing I can do except record a diary about noise level

Diary number 2 coming up this one for health environment and council

Stress is not healthy and I know I will feel different tomorrow but I do have to address this problem now as I had to address my addiction with gambling I have buried my head and stayed quiet for too long probably cos I was too busy gambling my money away

But I have won again today because I have not given in to gambling

Have a peaceful gambling free evening all

Suzanne xx

Good morning diary

77 days which makes 11 whole weeks today that I have not fed even one penny to that addiction that is called gambling

It does seem longer than 11 weeks the weeks have gone quick but the days are long as I can't wait to get to the next day week and month to pay off my PD loans I don't have a lot of patience at the moment with myself and I want everything yesterday but in reality it won't happen and I will carry on one day at a time

It's THE MONDAY again and my day off my worst day for gambling in the past but I have no intention of gambling today

Still feeling anxious this morning but will ride through the day

I also miss my little man who I usually have on Mondays but he is enjoying himself on hol in Spain 2nd week there now I know he's having a fantastic time with his Mum and her partner

It looks like a lovely day weather wise again so I will be in the garden again will keep close to site today to keep me stress free and strong and positive

Have a good stress free gambling free day all

Suzanne xx

Hey girl

Thanx for the post. I'm getting round lol, just a bit on a slow go today. Yep, the feelings we have time to time are not the best ones but all we hav to do is accept them and keep making the right choice.

Your weeks are building up well nice, be proud Suzanne, you are doing it by simply choosing life and taking it day at a time..I am on 2 weeks..I think lol, this time stopped counting days and seems to work. But ya know, the day in present is what counts and that is more than enough for me 🙂

So day off eh? And SUN is shining! !! Say no more lol lol. Hope you enjoy it all today and won't need to hushhhh those dogs lol. Bless, must b tough to find that peace when you need it the most.

keep at it, you are doing brill and be proud.

Have a lovely peaceful day my friend

S x

Good morning diary

Day 78

Middle shift at work today

Feeling calmer today and ready for another day at work

It really does feel good to wake up in the morning with no sick feeling from the days before gambling

I won't be playing today because I have every intention of winning again today

One day at a time I am winning everyday and that is sooo positive

Have a positive and peaceful gambling free day all

Suzanne xx

Hello Suzanne,

Hope your shift went well today?

Thank you again for your lovely post and words of encouragement on my diary, they mean a lot.

It is a beautiful day today and even better because I have spent it in the fresh air and not inside a stuffy casino or in front of my pc.

I wish you a very happy bet free day tomorrow, stay safe for the next 24 and we will continue to win.

Best wishes as always. JFT

Hope x