Life begins again

Good morning diary,

Getting back to my new (lol) self, even though no news yet on when son is having op.should be soon, he had his pre op tests last week, LM is seeing a specialist on Friday, ( behaviour issues) so hopefully that will get sorted out very soon, and other son is coming home from his hols tomorrow, it's only been two weeks, but I feel like he has been gone for 2 months lol.

By keep making that right choice every day, my head is not full of self inflicted S***e,

Thank you recovery for helping me change my lifestyle and my perspective on it. (work in progress lol) and very much one day at a time, but sooo very much worth it.

Wishing everyone a strong, positive and stress free gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Great to see such positive thinking.

Hi Blonde,

Thank you for your encouraging & caring post ☺
Yes, I know where you're coming from with me preferably using the negativity to keep moving on. I guess, all I tried to say last week, some ppl tend to think the worst to get past the hurdles. I guess for me, it is not as dissapointing if the worst does happen (it never did lol..just for the record ) and I appreciate the "good" even more.

Anyway, am so glad you're bk in the living land so to speak. Your son will be fine (as we established already, he will come round it himself also, don't fear) & your little man will be absolutely fine also.
Keep looking after yourself girl. You are getting stronger by each passing day and should b proud.

Ps. Just got new gadget and unfortunately ur phone wasn't saved 🙁
If ya text me when ya can I shall update the contacts.

Thank you for your support once again, I shall touch the Base later..for now...work lovely work ☺

Take care
S x

Hey girl, a text coming through shortly lol,

It is hard to forgive others that have hurt us deeply, mentally and emotionally, hey this will make you smile, my first husband who I had two sons with that I would not be without, with all their warts, is now expecting another baby, ( he has 2 sons from me he has never bothered with, he has two more from his second marriage, that he now doesn't bother with, he has already another one that is older than my two LMs, and he and his partner are expecting again, you know my situation there. and I cannot do anything else but smile, you do the same Hun, smile and keep smiling, at those that hurt you, we know better they cannot hurt us again xxxx

Sxxxxxx

Afternoon Suzanne.
563 days say no more.
Bloody amazing.
Have a great day
Steve xxx

Good morning diary,

567 days today.

Did not feel like posting at the weekend, one because of the events in Paris on Friday night, and two my son, his partner, and LM and their doggie came up for the weekend, (hectic to say the least) but lovely to see them, even though son is still waiting for his op.

Other son safely home from the Carrabean, he, his partner, and LM, visited the mad house lol.(good job I never had any viewings this weekend) because I would of cancelled them lol.

To be honest gambling at this time could not be any further away from my thoughts, there is far too much going on in the real world, that just makes me feel ashamed still, when I think of my selfish self destructive addiction.

I am a CG in recovery and always will be, but that is ok, I can't expect to get burnt msny times and not have any scars, these scars keep me strong within my recovery.

Also I have noticed (as have been reading other posts at the weekend) (this forum does and always will stay close to me,) a lot of strange posts on the challenge thread and on some diarists posts, poll 13s diary this morning has a number of long posts in different names????, I hope admin sees this and sorts it out, they have deleted the ones on the challenge thread.

wishing everyone a strong, positive, calm and safe gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Morning Suzanne,

Thanks for your supportive post last week.

Well done on 567 days.....great achievement that! ;0)

Keep strong

Ade xxx

Hi,

Thank you for your kind words and support and well done on 567 days.

Best wishes xxx

I wished wrote:

Good morning diary,

567 days today.

Did not feel like posting at the weekend, one because of the events in Paris on Friday night, and two my son, his partner, and LM and their doggie came up for the weekend, (hectic to say the least) but lovely to see them, even though son is still waiting for his op.

Other son safely home from the Carrabean, he, his partner, and LM, visited the mad house lol.(good job I never had any viewings this weekend) because I would of cancelled them lol.

To be honest gambling at this time could not be any further away from my thoughts, there is far too much going on in the real world, that just makes me feel ashamed still, when I think of my selfish self destructive addiction.

I am a CG in recovery and always will be, but that is ok, I can't expect to get burnt msny times and not have any scars, these scars keep me strong within my recovery.

Also I have noticed (as have been reading other posts at the weekend) (this forum does and always will stay close to me,) a lot of strange posts on the challenge thread and on some diarists posts, poll 13s diary this morning has a number of long posts in different names????, I hope admin sees this and sorts it out, they have deleted the ones on the challenge thread.

wishing everyone a strong, positive, calm and safe gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

thanks for your ongoing support suzanne. can't tell you how much it means to me 🙂

Also noticed the strange rise in the spam type posts. Why i ask? Is nowhere sacred?

Morning Suzanne.
Thanks for the Facebook birthday message.
568 days is truely remarkable.
Have a great day.
Steve xxx

Well done Suzanne what a awesome achievement your a credit to this websitex

Worried about you. Drop me a text x

Worried about you. Drop me a text x

Good morning diary,

573 days today of abstaining and maintaining, and what a rollercoaster journey I am on, but I am not clinging on tight at this time, I am holding on with determination and positivity and I am keeping my head held high.:)))

Unexpected events in my life this week, turned my recovery journey onto a different path, I gave my recovery Way to my very dear lifetime best friend who is at present in the dark depths of another addiction, alcohol dependency, but believe me she is on the same path I was on, self destruction, all addictions and false beliefs can so easily lead to self destruction.(and sadly sometimes bringing innocent down with us around us),

My friend now lives in a lovely holiday resort nr Bodrum (Turkey) and only comes back to England occasionally now, her home here is Portsmouth. I have always known she had a problem with drink, but seeing her this week, it really saddened me to see how it has progressed, and affected her health, mentally, emotionally and physically.

She has no partner and no children and is an only child, and since she lost her Father 3 years ago she has found even more solace with her drinking. The last time I saw her was just before I started my own recovery journey.

Through me finding my own recovery, I do feel I have helped her these last few days, she has now returned to Portsmouth and is flying back to Turkey on Wednesday, (we were only together for 4 days here) but I am already feeling a void with her having gone now. and am obviously very worried about her but I can only show her the way, I can't make her do it, sadly.

On a more positive note, son is having op next Friday, (thank goodness) because we will know then what the growth is, but he is drinking heavily with worrying, and that will not be doing him any good :(((

As for me dear diary, have not really thought about my own recovery this week (as I have been giving it away) but through giving my experience away, it has strengthened my resolve, I know that I must not stray from my own recovery, as it would/could let complacency in, so I am working at finding right balances at this time, and doing certain things in moderation, to keep me safe and therefore keep my family safe.

Recovery is very much one day at a time, and we must never become stagnent within our recoveries, there are new branches sprouting up,all the time on our recovery tree, and we must let them grow to keep us strong.

Wishing everyone. a strong, positive and stress free gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

PS My friend has told me about some heart wrenching stories that she has witnessed this year where she lives nr Bodrum to do with the refugees, it does put our whole planet into a new perspective, hearing her stories and the events that are happening every day, my LM is going to Disneyland Paris this Friday with his Mum, her sister and her LM, (all being well) same day as son has his op, and the same day it's one of my granddaughters birthday, I will take all of these 3 occasions as a big fat positive.

Keep safe and stay focused everyone on what really matters xxx

Good morning,

Noticed you hadn't posted in a while and glad you are ok. A lovely update from you above.

The strength you have gained in your own recovery is now greatly helping your friend in her journey.

Thank you for your kind post on my diary.

Wishing you a strong gamble free Sunday.

Best wishes x