Life begins again

Hi S,

Thank you for the post(s) and am really proud of you marching on in this journey of ours ☺

My thoughts will be with you and your family next week also, be sure to tap me a line if you feel a little stressed/worried (no scratching - promise! 😉 )

Look after yourself and keep making the right choice girl! Stay positive.

S x

sending some love to you, hope your saturday went well x

Thanks again for dropping by Suzanne, you are a huge inspiration to a lot of people here consistently spending time giving honest advice and encouragement. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Thanks for your lovely posts and an extra special one to Stephen2015 because he showed something new:)))

Good afternoon dear diary.

Don't think I have said this before about myself, but for today, I am proud to say, yes proud to say, I am 594 days of not spending even one single penny on any form of gambling, and one of the reasons why dear diary,is because I spent a good 4 hours yesterday taking one minute at a time,that tenner to play was dangling in front of my forehead, and I believe this was because my OH had a cash bonus yesterday and gave me 50 to spend on me and whatever I wanted to, not on gamblng of course lol, but my additive brain force itself to the front, almost immediately you have this 50 quid in cash from nowhere, it's outside your budget, that tenner you keep in your bank account won't even hurt if you lose it, you still have 50 in cash that is for you,

Yes dear diary my triangle is always kept permantly broken, but my addiction was telling me to go to the local shop and get a Ucash voucher that 50 was mine alone to spend on what I wanted to.

I have wrote this on my diary in my early weeks on here, and I used to think after spending a Grand in one day,(before I even spent a penny I told myself this grand could be a holiday abroad but my addiction told me otherwise, that I could a holiday next year, to just holiday money, jeez this addiction did not even say I could have a much more expensive holiday next year, when Imthnk about it now, WOW it did not even have to try and convince me of actually winning big, because it had me hook line and sinker

This is why I did one minute,at a time yesterday for a few hours, my rational head stayed firm, because I stayed firm in my recovery, I held on as tight as I could and I dear diary won yesterday, and that is why today I am proud to say my day count.

We all do our journeys in different ways, we are all unique, the day count does not matter unless we want it to,whether day 1 or day 2001 as long as we abstain when it gets tough we are truly winners, but having said that if we slip whether day 1 or 2001 we are just as truly winners simply because we have/had not given up on our recovery journeys, and why should anyone of us on our individual journeys, we are all winners as long as we truly believe in ourselves and recovery, doesn't matter that we all tread different paths.

Duncs said to me quite early on in my recovery,take what you want to to help you, and discard what is not helping you.

Very true words, Recovery is making our own choices,take responsibility and decisions,( but we have to listen, learn, and give 100% commitment to it, else my thoughts only of course ) and of course for me, I have accept me myself and I, and believe in me now, because If I believe in me, and my purpose in life, my family will believe me too, my sons always will, I am there mum, there rock, so I guess what I am saying is my OH will, ofcourse he loves me, he has stuck by me thick and thin,through all weathers, so if he believes in me how the f**k can I possibly let him down for the sake of a blxxdy tenner, I can't I won't, and have no intention of doing so, if I have to do one minute at a time sometimes, it sure wins 100% to submitting, and letting OH down, I won't do this to someone who believes in me warts and all, and I cannot think of anything more to think positive about today, because that is in real life one hell of a positive, my OH believes in me, (will never trust me as far as gambling goes but that is really just fine)

Wishing everyone a self believing and determined gamblng free day

Suzanne xx

Hi,

Thank you for the wonderful posts on my diary.

Well done you!. A huge obstacle was placed in the way and you made the right decision.

I am not going to go on - you (and everyone else) on here knows you made the right decision and I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart.

Best wishes xxx

Aha!!! Urges :-(.....

...but ... - success! ☺

I am proud of you! A day further from self destruction, a day wiser in tackling urges head on huh :-))))

Applause to you girl! ☺

Stay safe, keep up the faith

S x

Thanks for the posts on my diary Suzanne, glad to see you held yourself together when the urges came back. Gambling has caused us all so many depressing Christmas times, you deserve the best this year!

Lol S ☺

Thanks for your post Hun and how is things with you? How is your Son?

I know that many sees my approach is ohhhh sooooooo bad but ya know what i have learned in my recovery? - stand my own ground and believes! 🙂

I am indeed bk with positivity and working on not letting any negativity in my life. So far - so good ☺ even if i have to stop reading some threads, i always remember the golden rule of the forum " take what you need and leave the rest"...so some dumping in progress lol.

Keep on keeping on and keep winning girl!

Stay safe, stay positive & at peace 😉

S x

Well done on resisting temptation. When its been a while since ones last gamble, its easy to forget what that £10 gambled can then lead to, not just financially but also psychologically. My longest stint off it was just over 1000 days and then when i gambled again its was as if the intervening time had never happened.

You did well, you fought the thought and won. The only win is not to play.

Thanks for your support as always..

regards... S.A 🙂

Hi Suzanne, thanks so much for posting on my thread again to-day, at times you offer so much care thought and insight into this addication, you should become a counsellor ! I noticed you had the urges appear on Sat/Sun, but you were so tough, well done. For me i believe i have come as the counsellor's will say to rock bottom. It has to be over, right now I want to move right away and start again. I know that is not possible at the moment, but maybe next year ..................... or is that just running away from the issue.? I promise this time I will stick around this site, for when the chips (excuse the pun) were really down for me, only you gave me hope, not gamcare, not family, not friends, not even the spiritual world, just those little words you said 'hang in there' and I am hangin. Have a good's night's sleep Suzanne. Catch you tomorrow.

Hi suzanne what I meant about next year moving on, was moving on in employment, place to live etc, not waiting till next year to quit gambling, I know it can be no more, what I did Thursday to myself ended my gambling life x

Hi Suzzane, just popped by to thank you for all the kind comments of late , they never go unnoticed just sometimes don't get the chance to reply as I should .

As always deep respect and many thanks .

Alan friend and allie ! x

I'mmmmmmmmm just checking in on youuuuuuuuuuuu (anyone who listens to Bill Burrs podcast would understand). Thanks for your post today but surely we need some more meaty goals? I just feel I need an inspirational goal... something I may not achieve but if I quit gambling and I get that foundation then maybe one day? It's good to dream. On that note have a good sleep and speak later.

Thanks for your kind words folks xxx

Good morning diary,

Son had his op yesterday and was back home yesterday evening:) feeling very sore and groggy, but he had a good nights sleep:)) so it's just a waiting game again for the results from a biopsy that was taken, be about 10 days but I am 99% it won't be anything nasty:)) I know he has been gambling more of late, (within his means he say) his vice is the bookies sports bets, he says he does not have a problem with his gambling, as he only puts on what he can afford to, but I know that anything in excess, is no good for us.his pattern is he bets just once a week at the bookies, but every so often, he just goes over the top with it, I think he is in the middle bit, not a CG, but not a total responsible gambler all the time either (if that makes sense) he has gambled since he was 18 and I do think if he was going to,self destruct as a CG, he would have done it by now, (I hope so anyway) I can't do anything about his gambling believe me I have tried, he is very open about his bets, and does not think he has a problem. like me, so he says.

As for me, my only vice was and still is online slots, but for me personally I just don't gamble on anything any more, I don't even do raffle tickets, but this is easy not to do, the same with scratch cards and the lottery, (OH does it at work in a syndicate) but none of these interest me, so it's not a big deal for me to just not do them, I wasn't a big deal to play bingo online when I started, I could take it or leave it, but look where that got me, so for me I just abstain from all of it, but this is me, and we are all individual on our journeys,

No dreams now for a few days and no slot thoughts, so that episode has subsided, and I am looking forward to Xmas and seeing the family,

This recovery is hard work at times but it is soo much worth it, and at the end of the day, it really is the only way I can move OAUs.

Wishing everyone a strong, positive and calm gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne, glad your son is home, to get well for Christmas, had counselling session, lovely person same as last time, I have to try and progress with her, I still feel awful, the losses so huge, when .......................... well you know to well what it feels like x