Life begins again

Hi Suzanne,

I can relate to pretty much every word of your last post. My partner and I used to have yard sales when we wanted fast cash for gambling. We parted with so many things that we loved to feed our habit. We drove c r a P cars and wore old clothes and waited too long to go to the hair dressers. We wracked up tens of thousands in credit card debt and have been paying it off for the last 3 years now. I totally get it. How blind we get to all reality. How gambling addiction takes more than just our money. How easy it is to fall. How hard it is to stop once started and to get back up again. I am right here battling by your side. You are doing brilliantly. Day 85! YOU GO GIRL!!! -joanxxx

Hi Suzanne,

Thanks for your supportive post on my diary, i have just been reading through yours now, I can also relate to the sacrifices made just to keep the most destructive habit of all going. Not buying new clothes, staying at home instead of going out with mates (the gambling was usually more expensive than a night out in the end), not taking holidays, even calling in sick to work as I'd been up gambling all night and hadn't been asleep for around 36 hours.

I think it takes rock bottom to really drill home everything that we've given up, and in my case there's been several rock bottoms.

You're making great progress in getting to grips with this,but every day is just another marker along the way, and another poke in the eye for the bookies.

Hope you're having a good week,

Ryan

Another day ticked off well done Suzanne you are doing awesome.

Mark

Hey S

Great going on g free days, keep racking them up, it will only get better. Look after yourself, stay safe, share those smiles and create even more great memories going forward .

Well done and keep it up 🙂

Sandra x

Thanks all for your supportive messages it is really very much appreciated x

Good morning diary

86 days gamble free and another day at work middle shift so not too bad

Feeling ok today just a tenner keeps coming to mind but I dismiss it as fast as it comes I think about it and then think it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to even think about it don't know why I think about it at all because I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I WOULD NOT STOP at a tenner

I will not be playing today Because the thought of it is absolutely RIDICULOUS

Wishing everyone a positive and strong gambling free day today

Suzanne xx

HI Suzanne and well done on your 86 days gambling free.

I relate to the "just a tenner" or the "well its only a pound on the lottery". But like you say it never is just a pound or a tenna. Its everything you/I can get hold of in that gambling session. The emotional rollercoaster soon takes over. The logical thinking brain soon gets hijacked by the emotional thrill seeking or the emotional escapist brain and before we know it we have gambled everything away... and feel rubbish. The only win is not to play.

I say to myself nowadays that I don't want to try and win money. If I want more money I will do it through work. Sometimes it is not easy as the gambling brain reminds us of times when we won for seemingly no effort whatsoever. But we never kept it did we. I never did sensible things with money won. I just frittered it away.

Your doing great. Take care... S.A 🙂

Hi Suzanne,every time you think of just a tenner,go to the bank lift a tenner walk to nearest shop and ask for 10 pound coins,go home and put them in a bank which you cant open until its full.thats you just won a even tenner.:-) if you chose to bet that tenner,because of the people we are that just a tenner will turn into 100 or 1000 by the end of that month.keep chosen to say no and stay a winner that way. Take care pal xx

Scottyboy

Hi Suzanne,

Thank you again for your lovely kind words on my diary.

Please just stop and think of the moment if you were to part with that tenner, its not really a tenner, it is a symbol of all the things you are working so hard to put right i.e. loans, loss of money, jewellery, self respect, time with family and friends in fact it is a symbol and object of destruction. I remember being at the casino and saying or rather begging my husband for just one more twenty, he always said to me that is your last but I knew deep down it never was, that was before I had admitted to being a CG. Remember, we cant win, we never win, the only time we win is when we dont bet, I know how hard it is when we get frustrated at not having as much money available as we should have but you have to remind yourself why that is. It is because we gave it all away, a penny/pound at a time to the thieving scoundrels who were laughing their heads off at as, try and wipe the smiles off their faces and keep every penny you have to yourself.

Stay strong just for today Suzanne and tomorrow will be another day that you can look back on and say "phew, thank goodness that yesterday I didnt gamble".

Stay safe as always and well done on getting to 86 days.....86 days is fantastic, well done you.

Hope x

Stay strong Suze,

Everyone is right and you know it

It's that little demon on your shoulder saying..........go on...go on..it won't hurt ....BUT...You and I both know that devestation one bet will do.

Today I will tell it where to go and you my friend will also.

Womble x

Good morning diary

87 days today and still counting one day at a time as it helps me to keep abstaining from the self destructive addiction that is called gambling

Yes I certainly gambled with everything my life my money my family but not any more I gave up and am abstaining with my head held high

Had a negative day yesterday not with gambling but with work apparently according to my boss I could not do anything right I was threatened with a disciplinary demotion etc

What I had done nothing wrong I work hard and to the best of my ability and he is now asking for the impossible I can't do 20 jobs at the same time with 20 individuals at the same time all wanting different things

I call it bullying and it's not nice

We are running a very tight ship at work and the ship is slowly sinking but bullying is not the answer to motivate and push people even more doesn't he realise it makes us unmotivated and stressed

I came home last night and did not give in to gambling I did not spend even one penny on it and I turned my negatives into positives last night

I will go into work today thank goodness it's a short day an afternoon shift with the strength I have now gifted myself through abstaining from gambling and hold my head up high and work to the best if my ability and feel sorry for him because he obviously can't be handling his life very well at the moment otherwise he would not be taking it out on all his mAnagement staff

I will not be playing today because I have more important things to occupy my mind with like living in the REAL WORLD for one

Wishing everyone a positive peaceful and strong day today gambling free ofcourse

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne,

Oh dear.... - work eh!Jeez please don't let me start lol but hell you are hitting nail on a head here. I work in a food industry and obviously with demands changing every day we are expected the best performance in a shorter time, at a smaller cost and with less staff. Yup, how does that work out? We only can do our best hun and am sure that's what you r doing. Bullying and harassment can mk very strong case and believe me or not I have one of them on my hands at the min. Not directly with me but one of the staff. A bit new for me and since we haven't got top management at the minute (all absent...hmmm that says a lot lol) I feel like some huge decisions on my hands and no one to turn to for the advice. Anyway, d**n I said I don't wanna talk about work today lol so just leave it at that 🙂

You are doing absolutely brilliant girl and the courage and determination shines through. As I was told many times and say that myself now -.don't let no f****r get you down! Keep doing what you doing and hold your head high

No gambling, little tiny steps forward, day at a time. I'm right behind you willing you on

Hav a peaceful day and b proud! !

S.x

Suzanne

My dear friend I Salute you,at my work I have your bosses brother lol

His name is Mike,he doesn't handle pressure very well,he is a bully,he refuses to see the bigger picture,it is his way or the high way.

alot of the staff hide from him,it is his way or the high way,funny thing is he in my mind only winds himself up,he doesn't add to productivity he just causes you to work to rule.

Keep your head held high,the Mikes of the world will come and go,let them keep taking the rope I say!!!

You are worth more

Because you are doing something amazing

Enjoy it,life is to short,as my Ma say's 'it's not a rehearsal'

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

You have come so far dont blow it pal.xx

Will do chick cheers x

Good morning diary

Day 88 and I have not even spent one penny on any form of gambling

On late shift today so I have most of the day to myself but I will not be going down that road of gambling

My boss could not have been nicer yesterday he evened praised me for the week before getting the best results out of the region for that week I just smiled and discussed none work issues why did he not tell us at the beginning of the week how well we had done instead of bring a complete PRATT so my respect has totally gone out the window for him at the moment

I will just keep smiling at him and rise above any of his negative remarks he definitely has a problem as Duncs says one if the mikes in this world

I feel more positive today always cautious and aware of the nasty thoughts at the back but I will not be tempted at all to give up 88 days

I will not be playing today because I will be holding my head up high today gamble free of course

Wishing everyone a happy positive and strong gambling free day

Suzanne xx