Life begins again

12 weeks - massive!! Great achievement can't wait to join you.

Mark x

Hi Suzanne,my boy is 12 weeks old,lets hope when he is 10 you are still in the same boat as now and staying strong for 20.great work well done x

Scottyboy

Thanks for your support on my thread.. Its good to have another opinion from a fellow ex gambler to see if my thoughts that im experiencing on my journey are normal and all advice is gratefully taken on board everytime. So thank you!

Good morning diary

12 whole weeks I have been totally gamble free that is 84 days I have been on this roller coaster ride

Up early and it's my day off and it's going to be another lovely day

Picking little man up this morning so I will be having a busy day which will leave no room for gambling

Feeling more and more positive as the days are mounting up but I know it's still there at the back of my mind so I continue to stay strong and determined

I will not be playing today because I still know the score it would be minus zero so there is simply no point whatsoever in going there

Have a good positive and peaceful gambling free day all

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne - thank you for dropping by on my Diary and for your good wishes. So glad to see that you are enjoying life - 12 weeks is amazing; another 16 days and you will have joined the Century Club!

Best wishes,

Joanna

Congratulations on 12 weeks Suzanne, that's fantastic. Thanks for posting on my diary too, it means a lot. VB

Dear diary

I have had a lovely day with my little man he is nearly 3 so he has definitely kept me on my toes and away from any nasty thoughts of online slots

I am finding as my days are mounting up the pain and the sheer hell of how I felt is diminishing it feels as distant now as my last bet

The mind can work in mysterious ways when we have suffered a lot of pain and anguish so I am glad I have my diary to relate back to if I ever need to remember

I will use everything I can to stop me from ever placing another bet

I said at the beginning of my diary I have a new beginning but there won't be an end to my new beginning but I feel ok about that because I am learning to live with it it's becoming a part of me to abstain everyday and I can live with that (if that makes sense)

May be I am moving more forwards and upwards more than I thought and that has to be positive for me

Trial and hopefully not error as I carry on one day at a time

I have won every day for 12 weeks because I have not gambled even one penny and that is sooo good to know

Wishing everyone a safe and peaceful gambling free evening

Suzanne xx

Suze,

So lovely to come on your diary and hear such positive words. You are an inspiration.

Thank you for the support you have given me.....it sooo helps.

Much love Sue xxx

Sue

You are doing so well especially with all the changes at work,

Well done on staying strong

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne

You are doing so well. I am so proud of you. Your story is so much like mine... online slots... debts....no holidays, etc. I also have a little one of 3 (granddaughter) to concentrate on. I can remember when I would go visiting my grandchildren (4 boys and 1 girl) and would be watching the time so I could go home and gamble. No more!!! I have no need to cut short visits or outings any more.

Money problems will get better the longer we remain GF. If we gamble they will never get better, just more despair, anger, fear and guilt.

So, you will be nearing your century soon and I am 4 wks today.

Yep, we're doing it!

Well done you, well done me and well done everyone else.

Elfie x

Thanks for post Suzanne! Good to ser you are keeping up your good work too.meeting I went to meeting and found it really good. Hopefully between this site,you guys and the local meetings kick this out for every one day at a time. Xx

Scottyboy

Thanks for post Suzanne! Good to ser you are keeping up your good work too.meeting I went to meeting and found it really good. Hopefully between this site,you guys and the local meetings kick this out for every one day at a time. Xx

Scottyboy

from the encouragement you have written on most diaries think your great , well done :]

Thanks tryer

Good morning diary

85 days and getting stronger and more positive and more determined to keep abstaining from this selfish self destructive addiction that is gambling

Not only did I get into absurd debt (which some of it may never get paid off ) cos I am on a payment plan but some of it I have had for 5 years now and I can live with that because it I have got used to it and it's only small amounts each month that I pay

PD loans I want to pay off as quick as I can they were taken out when I was totally in oblivion living only for gambling it really did totally control my life I gambled at every chance the last year destroying me more day by the day

I sold my car sold all my gold and jewellery why oh why did I sell everything and more not to pay my debts off but to continue to feed the slots

I kidded myself making excuses ( we only need one car) don't really need my gold hardly wear it ( some of it was my mums left to me ) I obtained money any way I could to feed my addiction

I became a compulsive liar and totally oblivious to every one around me (oh yes I was so good at lying I believed it myself)

Everytime I got away with it it made the addiction progress and I was encouraging myself to play and play ( if that makes sense) how absolutely f*****g absurd and ridiculous I was and I guess I will never make sense of it all

Why did I not see red when I went overdrawn NO RED then bank loans NO REDthen credit cardsNO RED then my payday loans NO RED then possessions NO REDthen OHs money NO REDand finally OHs payday loans NO RED

I am ashamed to say I saw NO RED at all

I only stopped when gambling had taken all means of obtaining money from me I had no more to give it

It had taken all reality from me it broke me totally

I must never forget the damage it has done to me not the finance but my way of life and the damage to the innocent family around me mainly my OH

He rightly so is recovering well and looking forward to the future lets face it he is the totally innocent party

My sons are grown up andgrandkids too young but I have lost time and precious moments with them that I can not get back but I have to let that go now

Relapse have a slip Just a tenner I DO NOT THINK SO

I have learnt a very painful lesson and that is gambling is a total waste of our time and lives and to relapse would simply be utter madness

I will not be playing today because complacency is simply not an option today

Wishing everyone a strong positive and gambling free day today

Suzanne xx

hi Suzanne

I lost money girlfriend and being with my daughter full time and I still never stopped. I would wait about 6 months or so and get me money build back up then I would start gambling again. I never saw red either it was a continued circle I would go through. Lose a lot of money feel guilty and sick to the stomach then I would get myself soughted money wise `then I would go and do it all again. Getting loan maxing out me overdraft and payday loans

As compulsive gamblers we cant gamble at all because we cant stop and even if we win. We give it back plus a hell of a lot more

Stay strong

graeme