Life With Sports Bets Only

Easy solution captain.

Get rid of SKY,

count yourself lucky you can afford it !

one of the reasons I am having success beating this.

Never give up the fight though,maybes one day eh 😉

In a pretty bad way. Going to attempt cold turkey again. I have all the advice and information, I just need to put it into practice. Will try not to bother this Forum again, I've been on here over 3 years now and too much communication is just going round in circles.

Captain,

Just seen this post and want to wish you the best of luck as you tackle this again with new resolve and determination.

As you know, I always appreciate your posts which are interesting and thought provoking, but as you wish - if you think some time away from the forum will help, then go for it. What I will say is that everyone is always here to provide support and guidance.

Recovery is bespoke of course - but my personal understanding is you might never reach your ultimate goal without complete abstinence. I would love to bet sensibly on some sports/activities - but I can't. I'd love to feel happy & fulfilled as soon as I stop gambling - but I don't. Unfortunately, there is no easy way out... hard work, determination and 'cold turkey' as you put it, is the only way I can possibly beat this.

Your post re. watching sport is a good case in point. I watch all sports - because I love them. Are they as enjoyable without having a punt? No. Initially, I just couldn't watch anything, because it had lost all its appeal for me. But this, like everything else, is something that can return in time. Like all other aspects of this recovery, change might not take a week, a month, even a year - but give abstinence enough of a chance and it can eventually restore you.

Gambling is such a cruel beast. For you, it seems right now you cannot live with it, nor can you live without it. Work hard Captain - and break that cycle. That is what I am (trying) to do.

All the best mate

D123

Cap,

I read your recent post with interest reference how can gamblers watch sport without having a bet on the game. Before I continue I should say that I have a gambling problem which I continue to fight. I used to think the same as you and when I first came to this site the prospect of watching sport without a vetted interest seemed like a total waste of time, which is ridiculous considering I am a complete sports fanatic. Anyway, last year I went three hundred odd days without betting and through time I began to take an interest in watching full live games once again. I have to admit that I only achieved this through psychology. Instead of moping about not having money on the team I predicted would win I congratulated myself on being able to watch a game in total comfort and peace. I congratulated myself on being able to sit in my seat without jumping through the roof when some team in the lower leagues in England with which I have no affiliation or love for almost scored or missed a sitter. You may think all this seems rather boring but I am after a peaceful life without gambling and with time I started to enjoy watching the football again without my blood pressure going off the chart. Don't get my wrong I go home and away with my team and they get my blood pumping just about every minute of every game.

I have experienced a turbulent first six months of the year but my problem is with roulette. Ever since I quit gambling on football last year I have never returned. Football is too hard now the Premiership is too unpredictable, the Championship is too competitive and don't even get me started with the Scottish Premier league where any other team than Celtic can beat anyone home and away. I am fed up with teams going away to nick a point no matter who they are playing against and no matter there league position.

Anyway, I am starting to ramble. I feel for you buddie but I hope you give yourself a chance and start the new season as a content neutral.

Tomso.

Cap,

Thank you for your post on my diary which was much appreciated. I have taken a lot from your diary and have thought a great deal about your reply.

Yes, I have commitments to my family and kids but without this control I have no doubt I would be in severe financial mess. It must be so difficult for you when you have no one to answer to in terms of finance. If I were on my own I would have surely re-financed car loans even mortgages etc. The commitments I have are like blocks in a way. We have a joint account for household items and bills and my wife and I both have separate cash accounts where a fixed sum is transferred in on each payday for our own individual needs. If she wants to go and spend a fortune on clothes and hair she does this with her own money and if I want to go on an away trip spending a fortune to watch my team then I can. She doesn't get access to my account and vice versa. Of course I came up with this idea as a sneaky gambler which for the most part keeps my gambling fairly secret. The body language signs are there and she knows something is wrong when I lose big this I am not so good at hiding.

Basically, I have someone to answer to and you don't and I sympathise with that situation because there would be no stopping me if my situation was the same as yours.

I like reading your diary which in my opinion is a real diary with real thoughts and emotions and that is not a slur on anyone else. People use there diary in different ways but your diary is about gambling and the battles you face to overcome these issues.

I hope for good things for your.

Tomso.

Cap,

I apologise in advance for trying to offer advice to someone I have just started posting to in the last day but have you ever thought about or being interested in coaching. I don't know what your sport of choice is but you clearly enjoy sports of different varieties and you mentioned how you competed at a decent level when you were younger.

Without sounding like an a** I played football for three different professional clubs. I didn't play at a high level and was released by all three clubs. Anyway, I went on to play semi-professional at the highest level at that level if that makes sense for over ten years. Some clubs thought I would be a good coach and offered to put me through badges if I committed to coaching there youth teams and by that I mean eight year olds (I suppose everyone has to start somewhere). I couldn't make that commitment and never went through with it but I know ex-players now coaching at lower level senior clubs and many ex team mates/opponents managing at semi-professional clubs. Long story short it is a massive commitment and extremely rewarding. It can give a competitive man the edge he craves. If successful (no matter the level) it can open a lot of exciting and unexpected doors.

From the beginning of typing this message I have been thinking about deleting it because it makes me sound like an idiot and I don't know you well enough to send such a message but I am going to press on.

You have stated that you are on your own with nothing but free time, you loved being involved in sport not so long ago and I think you are a competitive person. I would imagine you are someone with great sporting knowledge and maybe such a commitment would help you with recovery. I am no longer involved with football now and still cannot come to terms with not waking up on Saturday mornings looking forward to playing a must win game. A dressing room of 20 players and all that goes with it. Sometimes now I take my wife to the shops and it kills me.

Tomso.

Yo,

Number one IMO you are no bother to this forum .

Your views and straight honest approach to this addiction is refreshing . And has given many of us food for thought .

Number 2 sorry to hear your are in a bad way . Will walking away help that . Only you can answer that .

My view for what it's worth is that this addiction has many sneaky ways to try to stop us pouring water on its fire .

I wish you well, we do both come at this at from a different direction but with the same long term goal .

Look after yourself Captain ,

Shiny xxxx

Hi Captain, apologies for not getting back sooner, I had so much to say but didn't know how to word it. I hope you're still reading and feeling less raw. We've all been in you're shoes desperately trying to hang on to gambling as everything around us goes down the shittter. It's like trying to hang onto a sack of gold after jumping off a sinking ship. You gotta let go or you'll drown. We're all addicts, sick people, we kid ourselves, delude ourselves otherwise. We can't afford a simple bet because we can't stop. It's like an alcoholic giving up beers and just sticking to shorts, delusional, for the addiction will continue to fester and grow. Try to step outside yourself and see how much misery gambling has brought you, what type of relationship is that. What would you say to someone you loved who was in a relationship with someone who controlled every action and thought, controlled their money, made them miserable, dependent, isolated from the people and things they once loved. Of course you'd tell them to get out of that relationship and never go back. You have to protect yourself because the addiction is like a demon possessing every thought making the thought of a bet attractive whilst trying everything to get you not to give up. You have to be strong for this demon is all powerful and the moment you show a sign of weakness it'll pounce and offer solace through a bet. The only way to protect yourself is to take the option of gambling out of your hands. Put your ruinous pride to one side, get help, be proactive, allow others to handle your finances, exclude yourself from every possible avenue of having that first bet. Above all else find reasons to hate gambling, reinforce those feelings and build a wall of hate and anger that will one day become impenetrable. If you keep trying, 100%, and be prepared to fail but get back up again and keep fighting then you will succeed and I guarrantee you'll be able to watch sports with enjoyment and to get through the day without that nagging impulsion of betting penetrating every thought. You'll be free, happier, calmer and more appreciative.

Good luck

Steve

Hi Captain... I just want to echo Steve's reply. I have been reading your diary on and off for sometime and part of me always wants to give a very analytical and deeply thought out reply to somehow try and convince you that gambling (any gambling) is not the way forward. But like you say in many respects i'd only be repeating what others have been suggesting for a long time so in reality I end up saying nothing.

All I can do perhaps is talk about myself in that the "struggle" for me to let gambling go is over. What I mean by that is that the debate in my mind about whether I can gamble in a controlled way or not is over. I accept in my own mind that I cannot gamble in a controlled way for any length of time and thus the only solution for me is not to gamble at all.

That doesn't mean that I don't struggle and my history is that I have relapsed from time to time but as soon as that happens I get straight back to recovery because I know that my gambling will ultimately rob me of my life and has come close to doing so on several occasions. Its as serious as that.

I hope that you reach some sort of conclusion in your own mind before a lot more time passes. Thanks for your support. Regards... S.A 🙂

Cap,

Hope to read a message on your diary from you soon. You are not alone buddie. There are people like me who are keen to here from you and follow your diary with great interest. Times are difficult but our problems are worth fighting. It makes us stronger and lifts our self esteem. I think of you as a strong person and know you can achieve anything you want.

Tomso.

Cap,

Really hope you find your way back here soon. Missing you.

Tomso.

Spurred back to give an update by Tomso - well latest position with me is since last post on my diary I went 2 weeks without any bets at all, then had a couple of bets on the Golf. As I've stated many times gambling on sports never causes a problem and I'm pleased to say that I have had no inclination for random gambling in the past couple of weeks and my Golf bets have not changed this. At the moment I am back in a good place, contemplating any sports bets I feel like doing and nothing else.

In reply to recent posts - Tomso - respect the fact you call my diary a real diary - not meaning to criticise others and as we keep saying recovery is bespoke but I use this diary to record thoughts on gambling and recovery, some others use theirs for social chit-chat - would have thought there are many other places on the internet for this.

Tomso - re your point about coaching - it is a sound theory and has been mentioned by counsellors before and something I'd consider, however I am out of touch with anyone who could provide an opening in this respect and also if I'm honest it would get in the way of sports betting - even in my old football playing days I elected to play Sundays only as I got to a point where tracking all the football scores on a Saturday was preferable to playing... if I had to go 100% cold turkey I'd potentially look at finding ways into this arena

Shiny - thanks for saying I am no bother to this Forum, however in my times on here I always come across camps of people who ignore me or I am at total odds with because they cant accept I wont do total abstinence and when I go a few days where I post and no-one replies or comments I sometimes think 'why do I bother?'

Lazarus/ SA - agree with your thoughts and thanks for advice - I am still focused on categorising my gambling between sports and other and it is the other which has caused all the problems so its the relationship with that category which I wish to end.

Final thoughts for today which have become very clear to me in the last few weeks:

1. I will never subscribe to the day counting and one day at a time and just for today stuff it just doesnt do it for me, makes me more anxious, more pressurised etc. I will never subscribe to the GA steps stuff either and all that goes with it, just feels like a religious cult. ( Appreciate these things work for many others and fair enough but I dont want a life away from problematic gambling to be replaced by what I see as a cultural ritual )

2. I will never subscribe to the view that Gambling is evil, bookmakers are evil, that I have to hate the industry, hate the fact it provides far more opportunities than it used to in different ways etc. - for me it provides fantastic enjoyable entertainment, unfortunately some like myself and others on here are affected by a illness which means we cant enjoy it in a way which we should be able to. I am sorry and ashamed and full of regret for all the suffering I have caused to others and all the time and money spent on problematic gambling over the years but if I didnt have the illness and could spend just 30 mins a day gambling on all sorts and stay in control separately from my sports bets then thats what I'd do. But I cant. I accept that. I dont have any urges to gamble in that way at the moment and I hope they do not return.

My mindset and thought processes have improved in so many ways over the past few years with frequency of getting myself in a mess much reduced. Think thats why it hits me harder when I do mess up now. Part of my thoughts used to be when I messed up and lost all my money I was a failure. But I wasnt - after admitting to being a compulsive gambler I never set out to try and be successful gambling on virtual cartoon races so if I didnt plan to succeed I cannot have failed.

Cap,

Great to have you back. I share a lot of thoughts with you. I am not really into the G.A. steps process. I have never been religious nor did I have a religious upbringing. People will say that G.A. is not religious but I would disagree.

As for the counting of days I think this is something for newbies. I counted days at the beginning and it worked well for me but after relapsing once the counting of days never worked for me again.

Nice to hear from you.

Tomso.

Good luck with your choices Cap. I couldn't do what you intend to do yet everyone is different and some have more control than others. If you enjoy it and it doesn't ruin you financially, socially or emotionally then so be it. Some can do it, others can't. I know which category I fall in. I know what you mean about GA meetings, it can feel like Religion through the back door but if it works and keeps people strong then fair play to them, not for everyone but when you've reached rock bottom you'll take strength and guidance from anywhere. I take on board what you said about too much socialising on here and that there are other forums where we should express ourselves. The truth is that there is only so much you can talk about concerning gambling, once you've reached a conclusion and set the wheels in motion weaning yourself off the addiction then it's just about relating how you feel. It's a diary after all and when you're filling those blank pages with mundane nonesense, or regaining a social aspect of your life, then at least your not gambling. Likewise it's a way of diffusing thoughts and situations which may and often do trigger relapses. It may seem trivial and out of place to some but to others it's invaluable.

I honestly wish you all the best at least you've reached a conclusion, you will have those highs again and as long as you can live with lows without chasing then you will be ok. Take care

Steve

Captain,

It's great to see you back here posting. I think this latest post from Steve is completely spot on; could not agree more with his words.

Not too much time this end to reply in detail, but you know my thoughts on our respective recoveries. Personal experience has taught me I cannot bet selectively - I cannot gamble on certain events/in certain ways, without leaving myself exposed to compulsive behaviours elsewhere. Whilst I always encourage you to pursue this course (having seen you stumble and fall several times in the past year) I would never prescribe how someone else should manage their own recovery.

We may all tread a different path, but we all want the same thing - peace, and an escape from the nemesis that is gambling.

I wish you the best of luck mate

D123