Life With Sports Bets Only

Stress trigger today - got me thinking about what I used to deal with stress triggers before I used Gambling as a solution...I have to go back over 20 years. The answer - simple - during that period of time I didnt have stress....the more stressful my life became, the more I used gambling as a remedy. Now I dont use gambling and I manage the stress but it takes a much longer period of time, gambling provided instant relief.

Full of regret about the past, various things, not just gambling. Gambling was there to fill a void created by decisions and situations.

Abstaining from gambling is a big achievement, but dont see what else is going to change, think there's every chance I'll just play out the rest of my life with no change other than paying debts.

You cant turn the clock back and for a lot of life choices, its just too late.

Yo,

Once again not so sure I agree with you about it being too late . I do not know what's gone on in the last or what your life is like now .

But what I would say is a year ago , I was trapped in an unhappy marriage , detested living and working in the shop. Worked over 70 hrs a week between the shop and my real job .

I would sit and although I was so very unhappy could not see away out . Every day I would say to myself you have made your bed now lie in it .

I found the courage , took steps to change my life . It's bumpy and hard but I know it will be worth it .

Nothing changes I suppose if nothing changes .

Like I said I know nothing bout your life , I suppose I am hoping by tell you my tale that you will see anything could be possible .

Sorry to hijack tour thread and I will delete this if I have either over stepped the mark or got it a r se about foot .

Take care mate , all along my destiny was in my hands , is yours ???????

Shiny xxxx

Yo,

I do agree with you that the choices i made in my twenties took my life in a direction which to be honest was s***t .

Married the wrong man and knew with in 3 months But then I made continued to make bad choices in my thirties , and forties.

But as you say we can not turn back time . Do I want to live a life of remorse and regret of the 25 years wasted . No , because that achieves nothing . At the end of the day I will probs make some poor choices in my fifties but for now I had lost control of my life , and have grabbed it back with both hands .

You are making positive choices for your future , taking a long hard look at your gambling and taking steps to arrest random gambling .

Yesterday's gone , I believe there may for some come a time when we find the strength and courage to step up to plate and find away to live the life we deserve .

Shiny xxxxx

9 weeks of abstinence.

One of the key things I have learnt during my 5 year recovery is that there has been a 3 step process for every gambling type which I have removed:

Step 1 - I need to stop

Step 2 - I want to stop

Step 3 - I can live without it.

Needing to stop is not enough - you wont do it, regardless of blocks in place. Wanting to stop is also not enough, you will have more determination, but again you will find a way to gamble, even after a period of abstinence. You need to be able to comfortably say 'I can live without this'. Even after this point you may still want to gamble, and you may still get urges, but if you are driven by Step 3 - 'I can live without it', you have a very strong chance of success.

Thats how it has worked for me.

Hi Captain, totally agree with this post. If all gamblers read this and tried to adjust their mindset accordingly, then there would be fewer problem gamblers in the world.

Yo,

Thank you for your post . Bit busy today will ponder what you wrote and in reply once I have mulled it over .

Till then I wish you well .

Shiny xx

Cap,

Thanks for the recent post on my diary. I hope all is well with you.

I have to disagree with your recent post ref going back to Day 1. I really don't see myself as having made any progress since I first came here. My debt is the same now as it was when I first arrived here. O.K. I don't gamble nearly as much but my stakes are far higher now than they ever were. I have no problem going back to Day 1 because I feel as though I am starting at the beginning again.

Since coming here I have definitely learned more about gambling addiction and the reasons why we gamble but I continue to make the same mistakes and, for me, that is not progress. To do the same thing over and over knowing what the consequences may be and yet proceeding to make the same mistakes is sadly not progress. I believe that progress is putting a large number of non-gambling days together so much so that you notice a difference in your behaviour, your finances, your self esteem and your outlook on life. Once I feel happy within myself and notice the above mentioned difference in my life then I will know that I am making progress. Until then I am back at the start (well Day 3 actually).

Keep well my friend.

Tomso.

Really great to get that post from Russ the other day, reassures me that my approach and thinking are on track, gives me added confidence.

Russ is one of the guys from when I was first on here 3 years ago who has always supported me regardless of my recovery route. He is 3 years clean now and has been of great support to many.

Ex-gambler Jeff is of the same mould - lead by example and support others in a consistent fashion no matter what.

I'd recommend to anyone to dig out their diaries and read.

Cap,

Ref you post on my diary. Current level of debt and money lost through gambling are two completely seperate things. My debt may only be about a grand but I have possibly lost two grand in the past six weeks. It is just that I had the cash to do that. This is not progress. This is continuing to make my situation worse. Progress is to go a long period of no gambling whatsoever and slowly reduce your debt at a manageable pace while abstaining. This is what I plan to do.

You continue to gamble which is your perogative and I certainly don't judge you for that but it doesn't fit in with my beliefs and what I have outlined above. Abstaining and slowly reducing debt. I would have no control over the second part of that if I was still placing bets on sports. The likelihood is I would lose hence making my debt larger rather than smaller.

One thing I know to be true of the past week. I no longer like being in a bookies. I think of it like a dirty little drug den. A place full of desperate people. Nobody even talks to anyone anymore in the bookies just a bunch of individuals engrossed in their own little world. I want no further part of it.

Tomso.

Cap,

To elaborate on my feelings towards being inside the bookies is to say that when I first started visiting a bookmakers I have memories of being in there with my friends having a laugh putting on a few quid on football. I didn't notice all the others standing on their own focussed on their day of gambling. With time I have become one of them. I purposely go to bookies away from home hoping not to meet people I know because I would hate for them to see my in action or how much money I put in the machines.

I stick by what I have said earlier that I have not made decent progress. The only difference now is that when I bet I realise I am doing something wrong and that I hate being in that environment whereas before I found this site I used to believe that I liked the life of the gambler and felt at home in a bookies. I realise that is no longer the case for me and probably never was. I lived in a day dream world convinced that I could win thousands upon thousands and this was all an illusion.

Tomso.

Cap... I have just read your last post on Tomso's diary, and something bothered me. I know you are not somebody that shirks debate and I apologise beforehand, as I realise that I am commenting on a "conversation" between yourself and Tomso.

Your last post made me wonder if at AA they say things like..." I absolutely loved drinking and wish I could still be doing it" To me it sounds like a negative affirmation.

I am sure that you will correct me if I say that you seem to be the only person on here abstaining from "random" gambling, and as I have stated before, each to his own. But you must realise that the rest of us are having to come to terms with the need for total abstinence, and your comments do, sadly, affirm for most of us the pleasure we once had, when actually what most need to do on here is hear positive affirmations, or at least, not statements which regurgitate feelings which could easily lead to a relapse.

I guess ... I am just asking you to tread lightly with how you "word" your experiences on here, mainly because you are still gambling, be it random or otherwise, it matters not. Your comments regarding pleasure and gambling, whilst you are still gambling, could be misinterpreted.

I realise this is your own personal struggle, and that you are being successful with your approach for you... but for many, if not all of us, your approach will not work, and for that reason I feel your positive comments about gambling should be tempered a little more.

Then again... I am drinking... and maybe should not give a f**k about what you say or do.

Wishing you continued success wih your regime.

Jon

Morning captain

Good to see some more support for u and of course a conflict of interest but nothing wrong with that everyone is entitled to their opinion and opinions are always good to read

It has to be bout u so if its working then keep doin what ur doin and bettering the life from the one u had b4

Castle2

I told my close family and my best mate about my gambling problems and debts a few years ago and my relationships with them have now been tarnished for life.

My work colleagues think my mortgage is paid off and I have a nest egg of savings. All of them who are of similar age are in that position so they assume I am too. Do I just continue living this lie? What do I have to lose or gain by telling them I am a compulsive gambler with a shed load of debt? Guess I would lose respect and credibility but would it help me by telling them?

They are not friends only work colleagues and really it's none of their business but I feel I live a bit of a charade at work.

Captain ..there is no need to respond to this post but I am sad that after revealing your gambling to your closest friends and family they have been not more supportive ..that's harsh .

For what it's worth I don't think you should say at work what's going on for the simple reason that I think you may be putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

I don't know what you do for a living but you may remember Castles post a few months ago talking about work and as he works with money if anything goes wrong in accounting he felt that people who do not understand this may point the finger..

I myself have feared that ..as in my own workplace people know i am in financial hardship and I also handle all the takings for my branch...we too have discrepancies and I fear people may look to me if the books are out..

Feel free to ignore this post and I realise that I have broken the rules here and posted when you asked me not to..but differences aside ...i am posting with best intent here but of they are only work collegues i would not tell them.

It's not lying or a charade ...it's self protection.

Rachel