Life With Sports Bets Only

Cap,

Been reading your posts on Shiny's diary and vice versa. I find it really interesting how everyone looks at their gambling. For me, there is no problem betting on the lottery as long as I am not the one placing the bet i.e. I have been in a syndicate at work for over ten years and I give a guy two pounds every week and he puts the numbers on. At the end of the year he pays out what we have won, which is usually between twenty and thirty bucks each. In a bizarre way I do not think of playing the lottery as gambling. I get that it is a bet but I just don't think of it in this way. My thoughts about gambling are simple - I cannot step foot in a bookies or casino. Simple. My problem is with roulette and I cannot be in a place where I can see or hear a roulette wheel. I would be putting myself in a very dangerous place by being in an area where people were playing roulette. Having said that I would have no problem with winning the lottery.

Tomso.

Cap,

There is more than one lottery and the only place to put the irish lottery on is in the bookies. They keep the slips right next to the roulette machines. So although I don't simply believe for or against total abstinence I do believe that I couldn't walk past the roulette machines to fill in my ticket.

Reference what Shiny mentioned earlier. It would be no good for me to win a few thousand pounds on a lottery because it would only feed my habit but as I said earlier I certainly wouldn't say no to winning the lottery.

To add to all of this what I want to achieve is to not wanting to play or win the lottery. To get myself to a place where I can look at what I have now and be grateful for that. To stop thinking that my life would be better if I just had a little more money, a better job, a nicer house or drove a better car. I do O.K. in all those departments the problem is I don't really appreciate anything and this is what I am trying to change.

Although it is a different type of happy each night I pat myself on the back just before I put my head down to congratulate myself on not gambling or smoking for that day. I look forward to this moment and think about it during the day when things might not seem so good. This is a totally personal thing that I do yet it brings me such a rewarding feeling. A different type of happiness but a more rewarding happiness than say winning a few hundred pounds on a machine that day.

Went off subject a little there but I am sure you don't mind the rant.

Tomso.

Good point Tomso, well made and I get where you are coming from.

This may sound silly but for me buying a lottery ticket each week is just something I do like buying milk and bread. Yes I check the results but I dont expect to ever win, have never fantasised about it changing my life like some do and get no satisfaction from the odd time when I win a tenner.

I reckon a very high percentage of people in the UK do the lottery but a small percentage of that group go into a bookmakers or visit a casino or gamble online.

Hi captain

I get what you say with the lottery I have ago but not every week and it really doesn't bother me I guess it's each to their own but I wouldn't class it as a relapse or a slip , scratch cards I really don't get never been my thing I just don't get buying one for a pound with a chance of winning a pound back my perception is why bother I would rather lose

Castle2

Cap,

What is happening with you buddy? Not created any controversy in a whole week now. I hope all is O.K. Get posting quick I am missing your interesting thoughts.

Tomso.

Morning captain

Hope all is well, not like u to not post for so long, the support is always here for u

Castle2

Thanks for posts Tomso and Castle.

Havent posted for a while, not deliberate, just didnt really have anything to post and one day became quite a few.

Still abstaining from random gambling and focused on the 4th October as that will be 100 days. Not having any urges.

Best wishes to all.

Well past 100 days of no random gambling now and pleased to have finally got to the place I wanted to after 5 and a half years of recovery. My aim was sports bets only and there is absoluely no chance of going back to random, no urges and don't even think about doing it now.

However as I always suspected, life is still rubbish and I just have to accept it will be like this for a long time. I no longer choose random gambling as an escape from reality and I no longer lose all my money but that doesn't change my life.

Haven't logged on here for a while on a basis of 'if you are not sick you don't go to the doctors'. Also accept there is little support I can give to others as majority want to stop completely and many want to take a prescription which includes a hatred of all gambling and I can never subscribe to that way of thinking. Thirdly the Forum users in long term recovery such as ex-gambler Jeff, Russ and winningpost I had great respect for and got great support from. Current users in long term recovery want to either preach and enhance their own self given God status or just spend time in general chat. Many users sadly ignored my posts after being influenced by others who sought to eliminate me from the Forum. So combination of those factors makes regular constructive discussion difficult.

Tomso, SA, D123, Castle, Shiny you guys are the exception of the current group for me and I thank you for your continued support and I congratulate you for being able to focus on your own recovery without becoming desciples of the Forum undercurrent.

Wish everyone well in their recovery

Cap,

I am certainly not one of those who would ever ignore your posts. In general, your diary has offered something to think about for me. You have a different take on things but this forum is full of people who are not happy with their progress yet you have surpassed one hundred days of being what you want to be and nobody can knock that. You don't need to do it their way you just need to do what makes you feel happy and proud of your achievement and progress.

You know my feelings about your method and that I don't agree but that is through my frustration because I think if you can abstain in part why not in full. You have proven that you have elements of control whereas many of us have no control. Having said that, more than seeking freedom from gambling I am seeking general happiness. You seem happy at what you are doing and that is all any of us want in life.

Keep posting buddy.

Tomso.

Thanks for the post Tomso, much appreciated and good to know someone is speaking to me.

Just feel the Forum has turned more and more into a hierarchy these days. For me, we are all compulsive gamblers and we are all recovering in our own ways at our own pace. A Forum where those who have abstained for longest view themselves as leaders is never going to be totally healthy and is far less beneficial than it was when I first joined 5 years ago.

Everyone should be able to support each other equally as much as they deem possible. In my opinion what the Forum has now is support only being given to those who agree to follow a particular path as defined by certain Forum users, whilst those certain users use the Forum as a Facebook alternative for general chat. This is as much the fault of Gamcare as the users for allowing this situation to develop and continue.

I would like to post more and discuss gambling related matters bu unfortunately there are only a few people who I can correspond with. Some users feel they are not allowed to communicate with me as it would put them in a bad light with those who are deemed to be top of the hierarchy.

Hi captain we all have our demons to deal with and we are all free to post how we like I don't see any hierarchy on here I've only been here over a year but think everyone's diary gives us something to think about it's how we use it to cope with our own issues is the main thing.

Take care

The bear

Hello mate

Good to hear from you as always.We have been on here a long time.Yeah you are right i try not to judge anyone.We all have our own ways of dealing with this.I suppose people wouldnt go along with some of my strategys(eg still watching racing) which i still do.but everyone to their own eh.well i still watch racing but to be honest with you i still couldnt pick a winner lol.All the best kid Jeff.

For over a month now, I only read the diaries of those who communicate with me and some newcomers. The rest add no value to me as they either belong to those who do not wish to communicate with me or I know what the content will be and it will add no value to my recovery (or both).

I now tackle life without leaning on gambling as a crutch. I used it as a crutch at various levels for well over 20 years. This is a permament position for me. I have recovered. I will always be a compulsive gambler but I will not relapse again. 113 days of not gambling on random but the main thing isnt the number of days it is my new calmness and mindset on all of this.

Life with sports bets only is effectively life with football bets only. It is a harmless hobby, There are no other sports bar football which I have any inclination to bet on until next April.

Everyone's recovery approach is different but for me I will re-iterate the simplcity again of the steps of:

I need to stop

I want to stop

I can live without it.

Only when you get to the 3rd one can you really be in the place you want and need to be.

For many people gambling creates the problems in their life. For me it was primarily an escape and a crutch for the problems. I am now facing up to reality. It is not pretty. Many of the problems created by bad life decisions are irreversible and have ruined my life, cant do anything about them now, circumstances and age are against me. But I am where I want to be gambling wise. I can choose to take a small interest in football betting (and now and again other sports) with no effect whatsoever on my previous other gambling.

Cap,

Thanks for the post and good to see that you are doing well. As I have said previously, we all came here because our lives had become unmanageable and the reasons for coming here was to find a way of reversing the downward slide. You have achieved your goal. It doesn't matter to me how you managed it or that your system was different to mine. I want a life of peace and happiness where I can just be content with the same things that make everyone else happy. To achieve this I believe I must abstain from gambling unconditionally. In your case you don't have to. Simple.

As for G.A. I think you are correct. I don't think it is for me. I read an interesting thread about the twelve steps of recovery yesterday, which made me investigate further but I am still not convinced it is for me. Having said that, I may just be in total denial and still pretending that I can manage this all on my own. For example, I am the type of guy who would have no problem trying something once if I thought it was for the better of me. So why don't I try G.A. just once. It can only be fear. I am not shy. I have walked into the dressing rooms of many football clubs filled with twenty grown men and have held my own. I don't fear the unknown. Maybe one day the time will come when I need to go but I hope not.

It makes me happy to read that you are making improvements and life is becoming a little bit better. We can all post our feelings, express our frustrations and anger but what makes all this effort worth it is to one day recognise that we are doing better than we were when we first started our journey on this forum.

Tomso.

Hi Captain

'Day 17 - I have a bit of an argument with a work colleague over a trivial matter. She is surprised at this. So am I. I even make some statements which are only partially true.

My conclusion from this based on previous experience is that lack of random gambling leaves me no other avenue to express my emotions. Random gambling has given me highs and lows, joy, delight, anger, frustration, disappointment, disillusionment and disbelief.

Without random gambling I am more apt to behave in ways which are not common to my nature, presumably to allow me to express emotion.

I cannot go back to random gambling, but I must find ways of expressing emotion which do not have a negative effect on others.

The journey continues.'

This was a post you made in Feb 2010 and I am wondering if this is the same reason you seem to feel the need to post such patronising and unkind remarks about others who are merely trying, as you are, to make significant changes to their lives but need the support of others in many different forms to achieve that outcome.

You say that despite achieving your aim that life in general is not good for you at the moment however I feel sure that denigrating others will do nothing to improve that.

As you say many of us that speak about everyday events which do in fact play an intrinsic role in affecting our ability to not gamble should use Facebook but I am sure there are debating forums available where you would enjoy expressing your opinions so forcefully without the risk of upsetting others as surely that cannot be your aim in life.

Around the time of the above quote several entries from others spoke about the humour you provided within the chat forum and I so wish you would return to that role and offer us a different side of your personality.

I suspect you will consider I am one of the 'followers' with no mind of my own but I have tried to communicate with you as an equal and look forward to you responding in kind.

I do hope you find what you are looking for in life to make the picture complete and bring you happiness and peace of mind.

xxx