Hi everyone ,
My name is Ryan, I am a compulsive gambler.
I would share my whole story but instead I’m going to speak about the recent past as this has been the lowest point of my life so far.
I met now my ex partner just over 3 years ago , I was in love , we shared the same values and goals , we wanted to build a life together and was looking forward to the future hoping for a child and marriage and to enjoy what life had to offer, but I messed up and gambled it all away.
We had purchased a house together this February just gone , but before this the mortgage had been filled with anxiety due to me gambling away most of my wages and being in credit card and loan debt, at the time I was ready to move in with her and convinced myself that if and when we do move into the house things would change , I would be rid of gambling forever  and I would be responsible with money and we would look forward to a good life.
Gambling has shattered our goals , it kept on happening month after month , payday after payday within hours. I never wanted to hurt her or us I have a good heart but my lack of control over gambling had a different outcome for me. I had worked a late shift , that morning my ex partner knew I have gambled my share of the mortgage and bills, I received a text message whilst working that we needed to talk, I knew that she knew, I was filled with shame, guilt and anxiety the whole shift until I finally got back to our home. My bags packed at the door , and was told it was over and to hand over my key by her mum and sister , she couldn’t face me. I have felt horrendous , rock bottom and a broken man and still. She didn’t deserve this and I’m sorry, I never want to do this again to anybody. Here is my pledge to never ever give in the gambling again, it’s a viscous circle that has truly took everything away from me.
Thank you for listeningÂ
Sorry to hear this Ryan. I know your not, but I hope that your okay. Best advice I can give at this point is hold onto the raw emotion you feel now and use it to make sure you don't ever go back to gambling. Put the blocks in place as soon as possible and see about getting a close family member who would be okay to check your bank daily to hold you accountable. Look at attending any local GA meetings to talk about things. The future with the Mrs is not in your hands now so the best that you can do is to show her from afar you mean business. Do this for you, but you never know maybe, just maybe if she sees how far you come along she might be able to try once more.Â
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Good luck 🤞Â
I feel sorry for you mate but you will still have urges, they are for life yoiu can't cure gambling but you can arrest by that in laymans terms it means in the GA orange book, you can stop.so you can stop Gambling but you can't cure it they are two different things of course yiu can stop for life if you really want to but you will still need those Blocks in Place so when you do get overcome to gamble , yoiu wont be able to gamble
Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately it it hurt for a while. And I completely understand your story too. I think it's important to put as many blocks into place as possible. I should have done this. Maybe we all should have. But we can't change the past. But we can build towards having a healthy future.Â
Hi Ryan,Â
I’m so sorry to read this. I don’t have a lot to say that you won’t already know but I will just say, please be kind to yourself. This is a very nasty illness you’re battling.Â
I gambled for 5 years, took out debt in my husband’s name without him knowing but he stood by me and now I’m almost 2.5 years GF. I really hope you have someone who will stick by you. You didn’t choose this life. The best of luck, Claire x
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