First things first, I've removed the urge to put a light hearted or eye catching subject to this. Let's call it what it is, take it seriously, not allow my brain to downplay my addiction.
Secondly, this is my third diary on Gamcare, one on the old website and one on this, although don't know where the last one now sits. I've always been a bit OCD about the number three so, with an unnecessary amount of superstition, here's hoping that it is 3rd time lucky.
Fruit machines / slots are my addiction, in arcades, bookies or service stations - have strangely never been hugely drawn to the online games bar the occasional splurge.
It has escalated the last few months to a stage where there is zero control over my gambling and inevitably that is going to equal rock bottom should I not grab something to pull myself away from the addiction and cease playing the machines.
I think boredom is the main issue. With my whole friend group now settled down and almost all of them married, the spare time that was oft filled with social activities has sort of hit a brick wall.
I guess that's why the online world hasn't really dragged me in the same way, gambling gives me an excuse to get out and about. And I think that manifests itself in a similar way to smokers, that it's not even about the gambling so much as the habit of circulating coins / notes between machines.
My head is just confused at the moment so apologies for the bumbling post. Hopefully some clarity will be forthcoming in the coming weeks and maybe get me somewhere close to being a normal human being.
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