So here I go again after a rollercoaster of a ride over the past 6 weeks.
Basically I thought, hooray I am cured, so I can gamble again. And guess what - well for the first time ever I was winning...and winning....and winning. I thought the universe is finally paying me back for all those losses. Someone is looking out for me. How wrong I was - or was I? When I think about it I was being watched over, but that only lasts for a small period of time and of course I couldn't stop!
So today I am back to the same place I was 6 weeks ago. Not up or down on the overall 6 weeks, but I feel like I am down because I had a decent amount of money which I could have done stuff with. We are looking to move this year so the money would have been towards a deposit or solicitors fees.
I am thankful I managed to stop before I lost everything though and I have today cancelled all my online accounts and will install software to stop me using gambling sites.
I feel very depressed, but somewhat refreshed that I can begin to get things in order and enjoy life. I just need to take my own and others advice and not be complacent and never think I am totally cured.
Challenge to get through tomorrow without gambling, and then 1 week and so on. I've done it before and I want to do it again before I mess everything up.
Thanks for reading.
Craig
Hi Craig,
Good for you that you have noticed very quickly that going back to gambling isn't working out for you. It's part of the recovery journey to find this out at some point. And that doesn't set you back to where you were, it enables you to move forward to where you haven't been yet.
It is a challenge, and as you know, there are many rewards for sticking with it and seeing it through.
I hope these past few days have been OK.
Stay strong!
Kind wishes
Gabriele
Yes, good job to dust yourself off & keep fighting!
Had parents visiting over the weekend so no chance to post.
Feeling good about the future. Didn't feel tempted to bet over the weekend and hoping to get through this week with no blips.
Craig
Morning Craig.
Fella turn that hope into a definite.
The advice gifted to me on my first days recovery, still works today over three years on.
There is a triangle
Time-money-location
Take one away and the next punt becomes impossible Gifting the rational side of the brain time to think, time to re wire itself.
The more blocks you have in place the more time you gift yourself.
Enabling you to enjoy the best gift you will ever give yourself.
Abstinence.
For the compulsive gambler there is no cure, medicine for us to take, there is a life choice.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.
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