My diary

Wkend has started early. Had my first urge since a week ago but my first thought was 'NO you've achieved a week why would you undo that for a £20 bet that won't stop at £20!' Had a word with myself and that is that. No gambling today!! Don't need to. Have money in the bank and a whole weekend to relax. Absolutely no need to gamble.

Red,

Well done and keep it up and say NO. Need positive will power and not open ANY new account and stay away from them.

Have you consider to let your other half or family to control your finance? As this way you literally got no financial access.

I have been where you been - payday loan, gambling and borrow and gamble and payday and repeat.

Took me one big loss and released i need to stop.

Its day 14 still early but i need to as i got a 2 year old daughter and saving for a house.

I havent set up blockers nor financial pass on to others but its my first attempt to try with will power and seen doctor regarding my depression.

If i failed - then that is my next hardcore option. As i just cant afford to live like this.

Please keep up the good work and if you feel you have the urge - come on there or phone game care or other support and speak about your feelings.

Lucy

Proud of you Red xxx

Today has been a real test of the Bored = bad behavior symptom. But what I've taken away from today is perseverance, escape and proactive.

Persevere - didnt give in and my goodness was I bored and fed up! Lol

Escape - change of scenery, doesn't have to be big, just leave the current environment.

Proactive - only once feeling stable and relaxed work toward a positive alternative.

Trying to control the situation when frustrated just adds more frustration. Once calm again, then discuss/think of activities and distraction.

Result = now in bed after an evening of playing board games, having a nice meal and appreciating my OH - feeling loved 🙂

Thanks for stopping by Lucy and good work with abstaining for two weeks, the blocks you have put in place will have definitely broken that triangle so just stay strong 🙂

And thanks want to stop 🙂 even woke up in a 'don't know what to do state' and starting to replace the urge/habit with eating! Like giving up smoking lol. But I've resigned to the fact for now that I'd rather work at losing weight once I've got the gambling under control than lose money uncontrollably!!

So. Day 8 - going to see if my beautician is free today 🙂 if not. Starting on the house work and finding a yummy recipe to make for the other half for a night in.

Well done!!!! Im so proud of you. Just repear this process and think of how much money you safe. Like you lol i think i replace with eating and took up a hobby....crochet. first week i made a list of stuff of to do list....lol sort out my socks and underwear drawer haha. Took me good hour as didnt know i get so many worn and missing socks or holes in them.

Keep up the good work x

Lucy x

Lol I did the same sock sorting process last week Lucy haha 🙂

Knitting and crochet is great for giving up any addiction! I took up knitting when I gave up smoking, worked a treat, it's strangely addictive, keeps your hands and mind busy but you can also relax and watch TV/film and satisfying sense of achievement! Winning.

So day 9

Out for lunch with OH and then going to follow suit and rummage through the knitting basket!! Best way to spend a rainy Sunday 🙂

Good stuff keep it up. My mission tonight is go thru my paperwork. Got 2 boxes to go thru. Need sort and shred. That will kill some hours lol x

Possibly going to a party next wkend which has already got me feeling anxious as will have a few drinks and it's normally in the late hours that I end up searching for this added thrill or the slots.

Trying to refocus my attention as the anxiety is one of my biggest triggers for depression and poor choices.

Reality:

Not even sure if party is happening yet.

It's not even Monday yet - got a whole week before I have to even think about it.

Have pay day to focus on first - need to stay focused on the present temptations.

One day at a time.

Ended the wkend with a lovely evening spent with the in laws 🙂

Sure is. You are doing great. Write all your emotion down or even open up to people. Im here if you need a rant or cry. I have been dealing with my depression for a year now. Only from April i manage get a good grip and took anti depressant. I had to as i need to focus on my daughter.

As for payday. Try pay everything from your wages. What ever left 0ver transfer to savings account which you cant withdraw say over a year or take all cash out (as long you dont run to bookies but do online gambling like me) - if really cant really trust yourself guve it to some one to control your finance.

But i got high hopes for you. My payday is on tuesday lol i cant wait as i only got £15 cash left lol. I havevalready made a spreadsheet and open a saving account that can only put in and not withdrawl untill year later.

Lets do it together..

We can do this.

As for drinking. Be merry if party goes ahead. Go home and sleep lol that way to wont even think about it without a straight head. Alcohol does funny things especially if you are feeling low.

If you are or having urges. Just go on here and post and read other peoples diaries or stories.

Remember you are doing great!!!

Keep up and i look forward your days are mounting up!!

Lucy x x

Just checking in before work.

Day 10 - double figures! And pay day tmz 🙂

Woop - amazing 10 days!!!!!

Thanks everyone 🙂

Absolutely knackered today. Like I've done a full day of hard work. I did get up early and the day did have its moments with meetings and such, but I can't remember the last time I was this tired from a day at work. I think it's just residue of how stressful the last year has been and will take some time.

Thought about/got a couple of little urges today but think it's just a symptom of pay day and tired so want to escape a little. Shook the thoughts off pretty quickly and although tired, currently feeling strong willed enough to not gamble.

Bed Time!

Day 11 and pay day

Love ticking things off my reward list 🙂 + I've just paid credit cards and payday loans/debt! Just got to stay strong with what I have left waiting to go out for direct debits and have worked out other costs for rest of the month. Not a whole load left over but enough for my reward. Had a great day at work and feeling knackerd but happy. Couple of little urges but nothing that has shaken me.

Onward and upwards. Not giving up on giving up!

Day - 12

Really good day, super busy and knackered but good. Having a few urges this eve tho.....keep thinking, just £10, might win something and if not only lost £10. But we all know that's not what happens in reality!!!

Will put phone out of reach so can't search for new sites to subscribe to and come on here whenever I'm feeling another urge! Don't want to ruin my record and have to start again!! I will not give in. Not giving up on giving up!!!