My diary

Day 10

Back up to double digits!

Woop Woop!! On the right track 🙂 am absolutely knackered from work feeling anxious most of the time about money and general day to day stress but knowing I haven't gambled for 10 whole days makes it manageable. Bed time now and I will not gamble tomorrow.

Keep it up x

Day 11

Worrying today. Not sure how much I'm going to get paid this month and stupidly took out a payday loan. Hopefully I'm just worrying unessarily but it's an unknown at moment so just focusing on one day at a time.

Not giving up and no urges to ever gamble again right now.

Hey red.

Easy said than done, but don't worry ( I still worry about getting through the month and my payday loans have been paid off for nearly a year now and I was the queen of them Ohh(( it's part of the process of recovery, not nice I know, but at least we do appreciate every tenner now, these feelings of panic with money will come and GO, you will feel a lot more positive tomorrow, stay strong, pay day loans are the Pitts, but this addiction is even more Pitts, break that triangle don't let that addiction tell you another payday loan will sort everything out, it won't, you will be even worse off next month than you are now,

Draw the line now for you, honestly it's the only way to move forward, you will get through the month, CGs are used to it :))))

Time now to be honest with you, you can do this,

Keep strong and honest to you

Suzanne xx

Thanks Suzanne for such a supportive and positive post 🙂 it's really appreciated and I know everything you say is right.

The online access is now blocked again and credit cards have no security codes. Was thinking I'll do it with the main cash card next. Order a new one on payday and then scratch the numbers off the back to completely cut off access to cash to use online at all. Will restrict me for a bit but even if it's just till crimbo it'll be another aspect of the triangle broken. Only good can come of it x

Payday this month will also be 21 days again, a milestone I'm yet to surpass but this month I'm determind! I'm going to try to trick myself phsycologically but telling myself it's day one again on pay day. Trying new tactics to stay on track. Not giving up x

Welcome to day 12 Red:))

Hope you are feeling more positive on this sunny morning, no 2 days are the same, (but at least it keeps our minds busy lol)

Keep strong and win again today.

Suzanne xxx

Day 12

Thanks Suzanne x winning already. No gambling today, no urges, dinner with friends tonight and found out roughly what I'm due pay day and hopefully going to be ok. Worrying really is a waste of time!! 🙂

I'm determind to succeed this time!!

Day 13

Feeling under the weather today but I haven't gambled and closing in on two weeks again 🙂

Two weeks again! 🙂

Hi all I have just started to do something about my gambling problem.Rednow well done for being strong.I have been reading your posts and to be honest with you its like reading about myself. I hope with this forum I will be able to forget about playing and start living my life.I don't won't my kids to keep loosing out on anything because of me.I hate myself for being like this but I just can't stop playing so easily.

Hi honey28. It's surprising when you first sign up how much others diarys are SO similar to our own experience. The relief of finding others who have he same rediculous, irrational thoughts as us is comforting. You've come to the right place! 🙂 I urge you to start your own diary asap and others will support your journey without you even having to ask. We're all in it together.

Thanx it's really good to have someone who knows exactly how I feel.my husband gets angry about our financial situation and I know I only have myself to blame but it really hurts me when we are arquing coz it wasn't easy go phone gamcare and tell them what's going one with my life but I done it and I know if I don't do anything about it now I will end up loosing my family and i don't won't that.

It's so difficult when someone u love doesn't understand the struggle. It is our fault but we have to always remember we are working towards making things better. Try to educate your husband about the addiction by getting him to read some of the diaries as well, but if this isn't an option for whatever reason then you just need to hold tight and stay focused when times are challenging. It isn't easy, but nothing worth having is easy to achieve 🙂 come on here and get the support you need

Day 15

Counting the days till pay day! No urges to gamble.

Day 16

Tired, worried about money and still feeling a little under the weather but no urges to gamble and determind to surpas my PB and beyond.