[Closed] My Last Bad Day

I am not well. I have woken up with a terrible chest infection and it's gotten steadily worse throughout the day. 

Done some shopping. Made some nice food. Been out with a couple of mates playing Pokemon and now I'm going to bed because I feel rough as. 

Laters. x

x

Sorry to read that your not feeling well Drama Llama. Hope you get a good nights sleep and feel better tomorrow. If not I suggest you go see the drama llama pharma cist

Congratulations on your excellent progress regarding the gambling, I see you are over 5 weeks away from your last bet. You are a star and I greatly admire your courage and bravery.

Take good care of yourself and be proud of who you are.

Stephen x 

Cheers Stephen. I still feel poorly. I did my cleaning jobs last night and just went straight to bed. I've just got up now and had a bath and gonna have some hotpot and then go to work. 

I have zero energy. I should be going to a cup game tonight but I deffo am not up for that. I'll just listen on the radio. At least it's my choice this time so I'll try not to cry about it. 

No gambling thoughts at all. 

Laters x

Should be seeing my counsellor today. I called her this morning and suggested she might not wanna see me cos I am full of germs. She says she's quite robust and left it up to me to choose. I just text her and said I'll pass this week. I saw the Doctor this morning. I booked that appointment weeks ago when I was in crisis and so it was weird to go talk to him about everything when I already feel like a different person. Can't be that different cos I cried alot. Then I got home and wanted a hug off hubby but he wanted me to look at summat off the internet and so he dismissed me so I cried again. Then he hugged me. 

Got my cleaning wages and sorted out my prescription passport. Got a script for a bunch of stuff off the Doctors so I've put that in at the chemist. 

It was hard to explain to the Doctor how I threw away all my drugs cos I was in a bad place and felt like nothing was working. Like I take arthritis meds and still get Frozen Shoulder, I take anti-depressants and still I'm depressed so I just sort of had a major tantrum and threw them away and turned to a massive drinking and gambling and smoking binge instead which did me absolutely no favours at all. 

Anyway, I'll get my medicine, start taking them again and hopefully just keep getting better. 

My Doctor wants to see me again in 4 weeks. I've never had an appointment so close. Even the receptionist called him to check he wanted that so yeah, I guess he's taking my problems seriously which is nice. 

I'm grateful to Gamcare for getting me the counselling that has got me this far. I hope the counsellor lady isn't cross that I've cancelled. I'm deffo over-thinking that situation. 

Sat here crying again. Think it's just cos I'm poorly. I'll be reet. Moff back to bed. 

Drama x

Ho Dramallama,

Just dropping by to wish you speedy recovery health wise. Hope you're feeling better.

It sounds like you're making progress in this journey and are in touch with reality. Everything requires patience and time. Good things happens for those who waits as the saying goes ?

Brick by brick, keep building that bridge ahead. You're doing brilliantly!

Take care & stay safe

S&B xx

My cleaning boss phoned today and I answered without thinking. He said just a catch up and talked a load of nonk about his holiday and thanked me for helping out while he was away. Then he called me later and off my guard because he never asked me to do extra earlier, I answered again. (Why do I do that?)

He said he's got cover for my place and I can either go to W (big clean) or f (bigger clean). I just can't believe it. Most people in my condition would be left alone to get on with what they had to do and bosses would be grateful they didn't go sick. I chose W. I have now actually blocked his number. Sod him. He can rot next time he wants help. I will also not answer any numbers that are not stored in my phone.

My Husband has a problem with his computer. Now, all he does is play video games so I have no issues with working this out, it's basically his whole life right now. It would be like taking Football away from me, that's my thing, it's what I enjoy so I support his activities too. He said we can't as it's too expensive to fix then had a massive moan about not having a car and not having a computer now either. He keeps going on about not having a car to the extent that he wants to get another one but I've said no to that. If he's not working then we can't be a two car family. Especially when you consider he rarely used it anyway, I was forking out circa £200 a month for him to have a car outside the house and feel more of a man for his big 4x4 useless vehicle. Well, I just spat my dummy out and said DON'T HAVE ANYTHING THEN! I've offered to help with your computer but don't make this about the car again because you have no right to one. I've messaged a pal (sort of actually distant family member by marriage) that knows about computers and he's gonna call in and sort this for me, he will make sure I am not being ripped off. 

If he had an actual need for a car then I would move heaven and earth to sort one out. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down or every person on the planet will walk all over you. 

I am not happy.  

The side effects for the anti-depressants on top of getting over the flu were a bit much today. Felt nauseous all day. Decided against going to the football as I would've had to do at least one of my cleaning jobs over the weekend and I'm hoping to get out for a memory walk tommoz which we have done the last 3 years to remember one of my friends who died of cancer so I'm trying to be sensible and save some energy for that. Hubby's trying to invite himself even though he can't really walk any great distance so I don't see that working out. I'd rather go alone and meet him at the end. We'll see how he feels tommoz and take it from there. 

From memory the side effects of them pills only take a couple of days to get over so hopefully tommorow I'll be right as rain. 

My team lost by the way. I'm used to that. No biggy. 

Moff to bed. 

Drama

xoxoxox

Yesterday I felt really super groggy and tired all day. I couldn't go on the walk but I met them part way round at a coffee shop. Hubby took me and we had an all-day breakfast. I was invited to continue the rest of the walk with the gang but I really couldn't face it. I went to bed at 7pm and got up this morning at 10am so that was a mega sleep (more of a coma really). Part of me didn't want to take my antidepressants today and have another wasted day but I took them and the effects weren't so bad. Still a bit groggy but not like yesterday. 

Hubby took me to the supermarket and I mostly bought junk food. Pop and crisps and chocolate and sweets. Did not feel like doing a Sunday dinner so I just warmed up a couple of pasties. 

I caught up on my work for my old team. I feel better for knowing it's done. Can start fresh in my new team tommoz. 

Gonna go out with the dog now. Might have another early night. 

Laters x

Started my new job today. Not sure if I impressed anyone. I'm still getting over the flu. Done my two cleaning jobs. Been to the park with the dog and gonna have some bacon and eggs and go to bed. I am done in. 

I had a bath after work as I won't have time in the morning and I wanna look half decent in the office. 

Hope you are all well. I'm looking forward to the bank holiday weekend. 

Drama x

Day job was a bit boring today. It's hard cos noone else on my new team has been released from their old job yet so I'm just like a spare part about the department being given rubbish boring jobs. It's making me super sleepy. I nicked off about an hour early today but I doubt anyone noticed. They didn't really notice me the rest of the day. 

I did my two cleaning jobs and both were already pretty clean so I left them half hour early each. I'm naughty but I don't care. You can't get anymore clean than clean. 

I got two law books for my next Uni module at the weekend. Little bit intimidating as they are very thick. I wonder if I have to learn them inside out and back to front. I haven't opened them cos I was feeling rubbish but I'll take a look at the weekend. If I have to go to bed every night with them for the next 6 months, I will do that. I AM going to get my degree. 

Me and my dog went to the park for a good long walk seeing as I got out of work early. She thinks I'm the best. She's spark out on the floor at my feet. I love making her happy. 

I am mostly over the flu and feeling better about life. 

Drama x

I got up at 7 and logged on from home. I messaged my boss at 8.30 when he logged on and said I'm working from home cos it means I won't have to make any hours up later. He was cool with that. This bodes well from the future. Working from home once or twice a week really helps with my lifestyle and work/life balance. I hope he is as relaxed in future about it as he has been today. I won't take the micky in the start cos I need him to see that I'm committed and a good worker so we build up the trust. 

I went to see the counsellor at 3.30. I have to fill in a tick box thing about how I'm feeling at the start of the session and I was like 0, 0, 0 for gambling thoughts and anxiety and stress and stuff. That felt good to fill them boxes in and be like, yes I had a good week. It feels special cos this is the first time in 18 months that I've been straight in terms of bills (excluding my massive debt but I'm doing what I can with that) and that's normally my trigger to start gambling again but I haven't even thought about it. No urges. Nothing. 

Me and the counsellor talked about being assertive in my relationship and I know this is something I have to work on. I am a bit of a doormat where Hubby is concerned but I love him and it's hard for me to seperate that love with what is acceptable behaviour or not. We are working on it. 

I did both my cleaning jobs in quick time so I could get home and watch the football. My team is losing. 

I should've gone to the park with the dog instead but never mind. 

Drama

x

Many weeks without a bet but there's no need to time her

The super duper super star we know as drama llama

A warrioress with courage who likes to walk her hound

Abandoned in the wilderness but now she's homeward bound

Mistakes, regrets, unwanted debts have made you very sad

And sometimes all the worry made you feel like you was mad

But you're a noble soul with courage, hope and vision

Who is worthy of respect and does not need derision

You'll make it to the top though it could be quite a climb

You can hear the wind a-singing "Drama Llama Its Your Time"

What a wonderful post to come to! Thank-you so much Stephen, that was lovely 🙂 

I've had a good day. Bit tired but it'll soon be the weekend and it's a bank-holiday too so no work Monday! Woop!!

Um, I got some feedback from my bosses boss about a task I did for her on Monday. She gave me a deadline of Wednesday but I just got it done cos, why not? Anyway, she was impressed so that was nice. 

My boss talked to me about my contract and stuff and mentioned that the rest of the team won't be starting till October so he'll probably need my help with setting up a project. I gave him some advice based on my experience and he was super happy and said they were great ideas and he really looks forward to getting my help with it. It feels really nice to be needed and appreciated. 

I did my two cleaning jobs well and then went to the park with the dog. I nearly levelled up on Pokemon but decided to call it a night so I could get home in time for a bath and some food. 

The dog enjoyed her walk and seems in a better mood. She was mega depressed when I got back from work and now she's all bouncy again. She misses me alot. 

I feel better for a bath. My hair was proper stuck to my head. It was so greasy you could fry an egg on it. Not a great look for the office. 

Anyway, I'm all set now to have a productive Friday. 

G'nite all. 

Drama 

xoxoxox

I had a brilliant day! Work was fantastic. It was sunny and Friday before Bank Holiday Weekend and it's Payday so everyone just seemed in a fabulous mood. People were nice to each other and kind and there were laughs and stuff. The team I've joined have this huddle thing on a Friday where they get together and chat about what they've achieved in the week, wow! This was really great like they were cheering on each others achievements and I really felt a part of something. This woman who's like a team coach or leader or something introduced me to the gang and told them to say hi to me and people kept stopping by my desk to introduce themselves. I loved it. I mean, I felt a bit like a Goldfish in a bowl but they were so lovely with it, I was a happy Goldfish. 

I got to work later than usual, 8.45 cos I couldn't frame myself to get out of bed but my boss told me to go home at 4 cos everyone else was leaving so that was super nice. He didn't have to do that. 

I gave him some feedback on a thing that they've been working on for a while. They aren't used to the system and how it works so they were flying a bit blind working on a questionnairre to input into this system and my feedback helped him understand how the data works when it's outputted and he thought that was ace and he wishes I was there when they set it up. So again, that was really great. 

I feel appreciated and really happy. 

I went to the pub after work. One of the bar staff is leaving so I wanted to stop by and say bye bye. We swapped cards and Facebook and stuff. I will keep in touch cos she's lovely. 

I went to both my cleaning jobs. One of them had forgot to set the alarm so as far as I'm concerned they didn't know when I started so I only did an hour. That was wicked. I felt like Jesus loves me and wants me to have an hour off. 

The lights are out by the park so I didn't stay long with the dog cos it was scary pitch black. 

Me and Hubby just spent a whole two hours chatting. It was brilliant. I don't think we've chatted that long in ages. We set the whole world to rights and I really enjoyed it. I felt like we were doing this whole getting to know you thing. Sounds odd when you've been with someone 23 years but like I said before, I haven't really been present in this relationship for the last 18 months so it was new and it was good. 

Okay, that will do. I've rambled enough. 

N'nite Godbless Everybody. 

Drama 

xoxoxoxo

Hi Dramallama,

It's great to hear that you've had such a good few days both at work and at home. It's good that you're now getting positive feedback and are feeling part of the team as you didn't seem sure on your first day. Glad you finished the week on a high and feel part of the team now!

Best wishes

Forum Admin