My recovery diary

Dear Elvis,

you have made an excellent decision to stop gambling and live a free life once again! Have you any blocks in place to support your commitment to being gamble free? I thought I could do it all on my own with willpower and moderation before, and I'm a tough cookie, but I couldn't. I'm on day 7 with self-exclusions in place, maintaining my diary and a commitment to total abstinence forever and benefiting from the wisdom offered by Gamecare members who have been so kind as to let us share their journeys. Keeping reading and talking, I will check back to see how you are doing. Let's get this done!

Thanks for the support.

I have self excluded but cant find a way to self exclude from bitcoin casinos because i can open them over and over again

Hmm. I'm not sure about that one. Hopefully a more seasoned member will be able to advise on this. In the meantime, you could install Qustodio. It is a parental monitoring software, but you can set it to block what you want, e.g. gambling websites. It should give you some time to truly consider if you want to start back down the slippery slope on a difficult day. For extra security, you could give admin permissions to someone else, so that you don't have access to the password to unblock the sites. These measures should help. But there are always going to be other options to gamble, so staying strong to your commitment, and understanding what the REAL problem is underneath the gambling is what will get you through long-term. Many Gamecare members advise counselling for this.

I dont think councelling will help. I know and understand exactly what this does to people. I have to be strong!

You gotta take the path that's right for you Elvis. Fingers crossed you do something different and break the cycle. Personally, I'm finding the diaring very helpful, I never done that before.

Hello Elvis

Why don't you think counselling with help? I had exactly the same thoughts as you and Lightsout I thought I'm strong enough to beat this on my own but I relapsed.

I am strong enough to do this on my own but I don't have to. if it's going to increase my chances of beating this addiction with help than it is without then i'm going to get help were my thoughts in the end. So maybe like at it from this point of view and counselling is personal to each person.

why not try counselling and if it isn't truly for you then you can cancel future appointments.

All the best

Conradnose

www.conradnose.com

wlking into a room full of tortured souls aint for me

Day 2 7:38am

I have woken up with a slight headache, did not give gambling a second thought yesterday.

Im in the house all day today so lets see if I can stay off betting websites.

Dear Elvis,

it might help to plan what you are going to do with your day. If online is your addiction, then maybe plan to go out, or get involved in something else, documentaries, films, housework, sorting mail, hobbies, reading diaries/success stories. Mundane or interesting, doesn't matter, as long as you are occupied! Wishing you a successful day 2!

P.S. Gamcare offer emotional support by telephone, if you'd prefer more privacy to talk: Freephone 0808 8020 133

The weather is awful so going out is not an option.

I think I will watch movies, read and listen to music.

I cant believe the amount of adverts all over the tv/internet for gambling sites. Even listening to radio this morning there was adverts for b****5 and william hills.

I plan on paying off my debt which will take me til December then closing my personal bank account so I will only have my joint account with my wife.

I dont feel upset today! I keep thinking about the bet that made me say enough is enough! It was a womens tennis match and the woman i bet on was 7/4, she won the 1st set and was 5-1 up in the second set, she was serving to win and at this point was odds of 1/1000 to win. She went on to lose the match. I felt sick to my stomach. I had already thought about what I was gonna spend the winnings on. What a mug I am.

Day 3

I think I will watch tv series all day. I spent yesterday calculating my debt and how I am going to pay it off. I was watching casino streamers on youtube and although they had some massive wins the amount of money they lost was beggars belief!

I managed to stay off any betting sites, I usually get the urge to check odds if Im watching a live football or tennis match.

Hi Elvis,

Well done on getting through 3 gamble free days. I've been watching a lot of these youtube videos as well, I think its my way of getting close to the fix that I crave. Just be careful that you don't get ideas that if they are winning, so can I, etc. Sometimes i come away watching them videos thinking they lost loads of money and it helps me, but sometimes they get a good win which obviously has the opposite effect.

Good to get a plan of action with the debt so good luck with that. I recently went through mine and was shocked at the amount it totalled, it was more than I thought.

Keep up the good work

James

If GA is for tortured souls, you'll fit right in. Once you come of your high horse you'll realise we're all the same.

Good luck with your recovery - don't think watching gambling on youtube will get you very far though

cardhue wrote: If GA is for tortured souls, you'll fit right in. Once you come of your high horse you'll realise we're all the same. Good luck with your recovery - don't think watching gambling on youtube will get you very far though

Im not on any high horse, i have a seriously tortured soul and just so u know ive been advised not to go to meetings by people i know as they said it done them no good. There are also reports online too stating these meetings made things worse. Everyone reacts differently. One man told me after a meeting a few of the guys tried to talk him into going to the nearest bookies. I dont think i am any different to anyone, im the same. I have a gambling addiction. Watching videos on youtube does nothing for me because I know long term everyone loses. I really never expected to get ignorant comments like that on here though. Thought everyone was trying to help eachother?