My story :-)

I am updating on here as I have had a relapse after several months gamble free! A hard relapse this weekend which consisted of casino visit, horse. Racing visit and a go in my local bookies! The only saviour is that too much money hasn't been lost! I am back on day 1 today but feel positive about starting again and sticking with it - I will be checking in on chat tonight to ensure I stay on track.

Athena

Today's a difficult one - I want to gamble but I will not! All sorts of urges today!! I quit smoking the same time I had my relapse and I can think about is smoking and betting! Must keep going though .... day number 5! Trying to keep myself as busy as possible and am looking for a part time evening job as well as my day job to get myself debt free quicker? Anybody else do that?

Have a good one

Athena

Interesting. I am three weeks gf but still feel the guilt of being 9,500 in debt. I am desperate to get this cleared but as always want a quick fix. I guess there ain't one ☹️

Im back on day 0 today - didnt put the relevant processes in place and lost £200 and woulda done a hella lot more if i had access to it!. Back to square one but will be on chat tonight to try and get my head straight - im so dissapointed in myself.

Awwwww Athena I'm really sorry to read you've had a blip today ... !

As you say, you didn't out the processes in place and the gambling devil on your shoulder guided you, as it always does, to the wrong path. We all know it all too well, eh!

However there's something you can do to poke the gambling devil straight back in the eye, and as you know we talked about this the other day on chat. Let's even the score, and, believe me, this will even the score 🙂

And that is, to phone this number - 0800 294 2060 (9-5pm). It'll take 20 minutes and you'll chat to someone who will talk and walk through all the bookies and arcades in your area that you'll self-exclude from. They'll send you an e-mail with a 'contract', that states you'll uphold your side of the deal, then e-mail back some photo id (driving licence/passport) and a face shot from your smart phone and done. (Or from a Photo Me machine etc.)

You can then sit back and enjoy a tipple!

I mention this because you were so close in doing just this the other night. This one simple action will make a huge difference to you ... if you're ready...!

Now, you know me, Athena ... I'm bouncing back from a serious relapse and one of the reasons I did relapse was because I never self-excluded - I thought I could manage. But I can't; especially when I had cash in my pocket again - - - it was just too much.

As always I wish you all the best and maybe speak on chat tonight!

All the best, Mixer

It was great to see your positivity tonight on chat Athena and putting into place practical actions; atta-girl!

GF tomorrow? Great ... I knew you'd say Yes!!!

Thanks Mixer.

I feel the same today i'm finally ready to say goodbye to this chapter in my life - i'm bored of it and done with it. After 5 years of permanently losing, putting myself and loved ones through so much pain and anxiety - I'm done.

I want to know what life without gambling is like and be free to enjoy life for what it is rather than giving all of mt time and money to multi million pound profit making companies that prays on people like us. I will not let them win anymore by taking a penny more of my money, I will not sit in their grubby bookies or casino's pumping in money that's needed to get by with. That time has been and gone, and I will work to be at peace with the me that did that.

I have a £4k in debt, which I can clear by the end of the year so if i stay on track, financially i could be very comfortable by next year.

I can feel that today and many days to come will be gf - and hope you all join me too.

At the moment every-time any thought surrounds my head in respect of gambling i keep saying over to myself "i'm done". That will be my mantra!

Athena

That's the spirit Athena. You can see where you are, and where you want to get to.

Our target is Christmas. But, right now: we don't gamble today. One day at a time. I'm not going to, and you're not. Straight away, we have two winners already !!!

I have been wondering today (on my 3rd day gf) whether im so used to giving myself problems through gambling, that I am conufsed what to do without the anxiety and problems i usually give myself, sort of like a stillness and stablesness that i am experiencing which feels unusal but enjoyable. I have come into my new gf life strong and believe that this will be the last time I will need to relapse, I said it on the chat the other night but I finally 100% ready to give this up now. I didnt want to 100% before and believe this is why i relapsed, im bored of the negative affects and am ready to be an active member here and to support others on their journey as well as push myself on my own.

I know from my previous GF attempt where i managed seveal months that I have many highs and lows to come especially in the next few months, as recovering from an addiction is a strange and unique experience. However, I'm ready for it and feel like im better equippred than I have ever been to beat this darn thing! Hoping you all have an excellent gf weekend - i know i will 🙂

Athena

Hi Athena

You are setting yourself up for a GF Saturday, your commitment is shining through! With you all the way. Mixer

Hi Athena,

I can empathise with what you said about being used to giving yourself problems through gambling. I sometimes wondered if I was punishing myself - like on some level I don't believe I have the right to the money I earn and therefore make myself gamble it away in order to struggle. I have punished myself for years and as a result, now find it hard to like myself because of all the shame attached to my previous gambling experiences. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I wish you lots of luck and support and hope you manage to gather momentum as you get through your gambling free days. I thank you for your post! Good luck! Sully2017

Thanks Sully

I completely get what you mean - I wonder whether I am the same actually? I have never had any money and have been riddled with debt for my adult life. Within 4/5 months I will be debt free, and wonder whether this will be hard for me to accept that I earn good money and can live a comfortable life! However, I am so looking forward to this point but know I have plenty of living to do untill everything is paid off.

Best of luck on your journey also.

Hi All

I thought i'd post an update to say today is day 6 of being gf (once completed) and two things are on my mind, the 1st is something I said in chat last night towards the end about the shame that gamblers feel about their addicition, and how they are perceived compared to smokers who are also addicts who tend to feel little shame and face little stigma attached to their addiction.

As an ex-smoker, i feel no shame about smoking and do not look back and regret, although a lot of money was spent that could of gone elsewhere (most likely the bookies), so maybe it doesnt matter. But i would never call myself an addict, i would call myself a smoker. Ultimately, arent they both addictions with the person being unable to say no to a cigarette or bet. Recently, I have successfully quit smoking and was suprised at how easy it was considering i have been smoking fairly heavily for the last five years and do not even crave cigarettes - i partly wonder whether this is because I have another addiction in my life. However, this is how i know i can be gf for life, i have got rid of one addiction and i can get ride of the last one.

My last thought that I thought id share is that I am currentl reading Allen Carr's "the easy way to stop gambling" as a tool to keep me focused and on track with recovery. Whilst it might not be everybodies cup of tea its worth a go to keep focused. I am currently listening to this on audible as I have a membership, but have discovered on google play this it is currently half price for £3.99 ish! It is definately worth a go to have a listen for that price - as most of my bets that I put on would be much more than that! so maybe treat yourself to an aid in your recovery and give it a try - nothing to lose!

Have a good and GF sunday.

Athena

Hi Athena,....... Thanks for the post on my dairy, it really is a big help knowing that other people are behind you on here, also thanks for the advice about the book, going to look it up think that is something that could be of interest to me.... have a great gf Sunday and keep up the good work you are doing great

Hi Athena,
Thank you for the 'heads up' re: Allen Carr's book. I'm gonna to buy it too!
I'll make sure I don't buy Alan Carr's book instead - I'm not sure he has the measured tones necessary to keep me GF 🙂
Enjoy your Sunday,
Mixer