NEED PEOPLE... I just need people like you to be there for me right now

Thank you so much guys :o)

Good to have you back Dan.

6 months, a great achievement, and who knows whether we are only on page 167 of a 180 age book, or more likely, we are just finishing book 1 of a ten book series saga...!

Great story and reflection in the context of sports disability.. Great to have role models, in this forum and in the outer world..

One of my drives now is to be a role model for my boy.. I want to be an Olympian in his eyes, not a compulsive gambler...

Onward to the second book in the series 🙂

That was a powerful post man like I've mentioned before you know your words and your d**n good at it. Huge congrats for smashing 6 months GF days. I genuinely believe that you should start writing something like a book or anything on your spare time. Thank you for your continuous support dude. Take care my friend.

Sig,

Fabulous post buddy.

Well done on your achievements. You deserve it.

Tomso

Thank you guys. Your support really means a lot.

Feel quite depressed at the moment but its ok I guess... I suppose if I just make it to bed without gambling by the end of the day that's ok.

Hopefully it will pass soon :o)

Got to get up mate, the world is still turning and time moves on, . I know what bad things go along side addiction, i know it’s easy to say move on mate, but that’s what you have to do. Regards Bob

Hey SMan,

I hope you are ok buddy. Sorry to learn that you are feeling down.

Is this feeling general life or is it linked to your recent milestone of reaching the six month mark? I don’t want to bark up the wrong tree but if it is linked to your milestone of reaching six months I can relate to that.

Tomso

SigMan,

I hope you are doing well buddy. I look forward to hearing from you.

Take care and have a super fabulous weekend.

Tomso

Hey S :)) .

It's been a few year's since my last bet but still have day's where I feel really down , the truth is that's no longer gambling's fault it's just life mate . 6 months is a huge milestone for you and look how far youv'e come , I almost expected brass band's fireworks and the circus to roll in to town as I hit certain gamble free target's along the waybut however big a milestone we reach it's always about how we feel on any given day and still pushing forward one day at a time.

I think it's actually ok to feel a little down or even depressed at times as it normally as long as we recognise it and if need be allow ourselves to sit with feelings for a while as it normally settles and sorts itself out but obviously if it continues then seek some help.

Mate , six months ago youd have given your right arm to be in the better position you are today , draw some strength from that fact alone and imagine how those feelings will be in another 6 or 12 months ? .

Stick with the plan buddy and remember it's all about " Baby step's someday's " .

Talk to you soon S

Alan :))

Hi guys

Thanks for the advice and messages.

I was wondering about the six months blues - I mean the last 6 months I have survived thanks to support, effort and not gambling and as long as I stay off a bet I know life will be better. I guess it has been a struggle thats all, and it doesn't seem to be getting easier any time soon. But I have to accept that and battle on.

Old behaviours have been creeping back in lately - being rude to my wife, obsessing, over-eating, being argumentative at work, not being able to look after my son properly - offloading him onto my mum. I think that's what made me depressed, or maybe it's linked to stress who knows (I'm often guilty of putting too much pressure on myself). I am too proud to go to the GP and seek help for my mood, that's the truth of it. However I finally swallowed some pride yesterday and reached out to a couple of people for a chat and support - it helped, at least it helped yesterday anyway.

Feel a bit confused as I want to say "if i could turn back time"... but I wasn't in a good place back then so I wouldn't want to do that truthfully - although I would have money I'd be unhappy. I just don't know what the future holds - when I can control my mood and behaviours the future seems bright but when I don't I feel unhappy. I suppose one day at a time needs to take precedence for now until I am back on my feet.

Life is just too d**n short to be carrying this around every day... know what I mean? What is the magic cure?? I sure want it whatever it is.

When I felt like this before I used to gamble. Why isn't what I have enough to put me in good stead to throw myself head first into life? Am I ungrateful? Am I spoilt? Maybe I am unwell and need extra support. I don't want to take tablets every day moving forward... something about that doesn't seem right. However maybe I haven't hit that rock bottom just yet... I know many people who have to control moods with medication every day, they have no regrets about doing this... and they seem to be doing just fine. I am frightened of any sort of dependency I guess. However I cannot keep living with this 'black dog' - that's for sure.

I will get back up from the canvas. That's all I can do for now - hopefully brighter days ahead and I will gain some momentum.

Good wishes to all you good people.

SigMan,

I relapsed a few days after going 100 days GF for the first time. I did it again a few weeks shy of going my first full year GF. These milestones totally consumed my every thought when I first came here. When I got to 100 days I felt great and enjoyed the praise that I got from other members. Within a few days I was incredibly low. I had thought about the first 100 days so much I never considered what to do next. This can happen. You learn from experience.

You are at the early stages of your journey. I promise you that it won’t be like this forever. Eventually, the thought of gambling and gambling recovery will not be your main focus. It is just now because you need it to be. One day you will find yourself thinking less and less about. You may have the occasional urge or thought and you will laugh at how weak it is and that it no longer holds serious power over you. All I can say is that this is what happened to me.

I went passed year 2 without even realising. I couldn’t remember if I was 3 or 4 years GF. It became inconsequential. I no longer thought about as much. I was too busy living my life.

Tomso

Tomso wrote:

You are at the early stages of your journey. I promise you that it won't be like this forever. Eventually, the thought of gambling and gambling recovery will not be your main focus. It is just now because you need it to be.

Thank you so much Tom. Thank you. You're a wise man. I'll hold on to the hope you have provided. You're a good man. Thanks for the support.

Never been a fan of going to the doc's and asking for help myself S but when you think about it we've had a hit of a drug called dopamine to make us feel better for so many years and now were no longer getting what used to " Take the edge off life " as it were , I guess we will feel a little flat occasionally ? .

Cheers Al. I just wish there was somewhere I could access some sort of natural high and tranquility when I need it. I feel so ungrateful and entitled for feeling this way... I think 'unfulfilled' is the word... Or maybe 'empty'.

All I can say is that I have my health, a lovely wife, a beautiful healthy child, a nice home, we have 2 cars and a certain level of financial security despite my debt thanks to my wife's income. I have a job (2 jobs), clothes on my back and food on the table. I have some good friends, I have my parents, siblings and my in-laws.

I'm living the dream. But it feels at times like im living a dream inside of a nightmare.

I am so grateful but feel ungrateful for feeling this way?

Anyway best get ready for work.

Living the dream is what your surrounded by and I guess everyone's idea of the dream is different but it's what's in those thought's that spin around inside our head buddy that can make you not appreciate what we have ? .

I know you like me are gratefull for what we have , especially after the shi te storm we cause before we come out the other side but for me it was like mourning the loss of a loved one when I gave up gambling with almost a grieving process to go through if that makes sense ? .

Everytime throughout my life when I've lost someone I gambled , when I lost gambling then who do I run to ?

I don't know if any of that made sense S but I feel it's about huge changes in your life taking place and in all fairness it's only been 6 months so maybe it's about giving it more time for changes to become more comfortable to live with now than the routine that up until 6 months ago was normal everyday life for you ? .

We need to learn to live alongside it at the pace it dictates instead of rushing it along expecting everything to be wondefull in a short space of time , recovery / redicsovery's what were striving for but as we know it's for life so then " why the rush " ? .

Contentment will return S I'm sure :)) .