new beginning

The thing is Loxxie, you have made an effort, you took the decision to block yourself and give it everything you have. You have committed yourself to trying to recover. Toad is an alter ego who doesn't want to stop, Paul uses him as an excuse, that's why he refers to him in the 3rd person. Paul isn't ready to stop yet and as long as he does what he does he will continue the downward spiral safe in the knowledge that the issue belongs to toad. Like wise, he refers to "the wife" or "wife" I don't think I have ever seen her referred to as "my wife". again evidence that this is someone else's problem?

All a bit sad really but in my opinion, if Paul took control and started by self excluding then maybe he stands a chance of taking back his life from gambling toad?

Just a thought.

Paul ! , look at the above post from Loxxie and take note , thats what you do when your serious about giving up , you put blocks in place and you self exclude !!.

I really can't work out weather your serious about wanting to stop or your just playing with peoples kindness on here ?, they offer you supppoort day after day but you make no real effort to stop gambling , day after day every post is the same but nothing changes unless you change it Paul . So whats gonna happen tomorrow Paul ? same again ? I bought lunch with ex amount and gave the rest to the turfs ?.

I hope I'm wrong Paul, I really do but it's not kind when you post and expect everyone to rally around with support and just chuck it back in there faces the following day !!.

Just stop gambling !!!

Toad,

You are giving yourself enough rope to be able to hang yourself, (not literally ofcourse:)) but you are still playing with this horrible self destructive addiction, and I don't think you realise how serious the consequences can be if you don't change your outlook on this, this addiction can never be underestimated, I kept going until I could not mentally, emotionally, and financially could not give it anymore, I am still in 20000 debt, I am still defrosting my deep fried brain, and my OH still bears the scars that I inflicted on him, and I am nearly two years of being gamble free.

I know I can't tell you, but jeez toad, I wished I started my diary at your stage because I know I would have stopped, but I was not ready, until I self destructed, you have your diary here, you are posting every day, this is in some way positive, I know you are not ready at this time to give 100% to stopping, but I do think you are getting there, else why would you write your honest posts on your diary, I think (she says) understand you a little.

Suzanne xxx

I feel for you toad and I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I can also understand the frustration at people reading your posts as they just want you to succeed. As to calling your wife 'the wife' i think that is just an area 'thing' as where I come from 'the wife' is a term used widely by couples whom have been happily married for many years. It is your life to do as you please Paul if gambling makes you happy and you really want to continue then maybe it is time to stop posting on gamcare until the time comes when you really are serious about stopping. I wish you well. Wcid x

Hello Everyone,

Sorry for todays events.i'm on the bus feeling unhappy heading home.

I need to find £20 for a mate tomorrow.

I considered selling some x-box games.

Since i paid all my debts the urge to gamble has been extreme.

I'm going to the gym tonight. I do want to quit this.

Tomorrow i will bring a fiver to work.

Thankyou everyone from my heart for your advice.

Toad.

Thankyou everyone from my heart for your advice.

After reading all the good posts sent to you!, i think it could be getting to the stage whether people will question whether its Toads or Pauls heart.

Its only when you see the end of your nose and realise your a good man with a good Mrs and neither of you deserve this S****e.. Choice is yours..

ps.. agreed WCID regarding 'the wife' being a area thing. Round here its ' f*****g er indoors ; said with effection...

These good people have much more patience than me. Speechless. I think you need a good kick up the ar se personally.

People only repeat behaviours that they get something out of. There is always a pay-off...what's yours? Find the answer to that and you'll be able to start to stop.

Is it just a short term buzz? Escape? Attention from everyone on here? Unhappiness? What is it Paul that drives you to keep repeating the same thing over and over? If you can't find the answer yourself then there are plenty of people, places and organisations that can help you.

Start living your life.

LifeBegins x

I do wonder if one of the drivers is to come on here and share your pain. Do you get a buzz out of the attention you get on here? Not a criticism but just a question?

Hi Sbisstopping and all,

My diary is genuine and not attention seeking.

I do want to stop gambling. I thought of only doing the lotto. I love cheltenham and the Grand National and I was going to bet on them just. The truth is i'd gamble everyday if i could. It's today I realise i must stop all forms of gambling including scratchcards.

I have a £4 scratchcard to cash tomorrow for lunch.

I take all the advice I have been given. As of tonight I am stopping gambling.

That is it finished. My diary is a sad tale and I don't want this anymore.

I have a giant pig moneybox and I'm going to save in it instead of feeding the greedy turfs.

It has to stop now. For the sake of 'my wife' and me. I don't use the term 'my wife' as it sounds like i own her hehe. Or a controlling person.

Anyway. There is nothing funny about gambling neither am i throwing advice back in peoples faces. I am on here still trying to stop. I will never give up. If a toad is hungry on a lily pad. It never stops shooting his tongue out to catch flies to eat and survive. I am a toad too who is resilient. This toad believes in himself. I stand tall and I will never give up. So all raise a glass and a croke for toad. Sorry I meant a toast.

So i just lept onto my lily pad for a sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. It's time for me to make changes.

Croke croke,

Toad.

Hi All,

Can i just add. Today is an important date. It's :-

15th February 2016. The last day in my life I gambled. It makes me proud i have now given up. It takes courage.

Good luck everyone on your journey.

Toad.

If your still gamble free by Monday the 22nd , thats one week from today I'll take my hat off to you Paul but until then I reserve judgement !

Best wishes Paul !

If your still gamble free by Monday the 22nd , thats one week from today I'll take my hat off to you Paul but until then I reserve judgement !

Best wishes Paul !

Positive words Paul. How serious are you this time? Will you be backing them up with positive action and self excluding?

As you state yourself "I would gamble every day if I could".

As things stand you can do just that - easily. Of course if you self exclude at least it would take the bookies off the radar.

I wish you well and hope that you reach your goal but you need to use very tool in the box to help you. I will once more remind you

time - money - location

Nice to read toad. ...look forward to seeing an update tonight...good luck x