new beginning

Hai Toad .

I wasn't going to post and then thought f**k it. It's the mood im in.

" worst of all........ my life "

Why not sit down for a minute and think for a minute. I'm not sure whether I'm going to articulate this well!!But....... Is there any revelance to your life? Can you think for a minute who elses life your effecting in yourmiserable gambling experiences? ie your wife? Your folks are always going to love there Toad. But how about your poor Mrs and friends/ family who care.

Have you ever been in a pub or on a holiday and looked at a couple who have probably been together for life but fell out of love years ago, but stick together because of fear of the unknown.

I think it's time to give up the Toad and be true to your word, not for the irrelevant Toad bur for Paul and people close to him ..

f**k the money.. it's either about you or the Toad

Hello Volcano,

Thankyou for your comments. I just seem to be horribly addicted.

I can barely go 3 days without a bet. Then I lose, lose, lose.

I worked 20 extra hours overtime in February so i need to wire it to the wife. She deserves better.

I think with years of gambling it takes less time to recover from losses. On a positive note I will not borrow. I will bring a £1 tomorrow for a diet drink and bring my lunch.

Ever since I cleared my debt the urge to gamble has been extreme.
I need to wise up once and for all.

Toad.

Sorry Toad..... But your good with words.

Your Mrs doesnt want your money. When you met her did you rock up in a chaufer driven Merc, with gold dripping off you and a big f**k off Havana cigar sticking your mouth?

Its easy peasy given the turfs a miss when your pretty brassick! Do you know why i either like you or wary, its because i pit up the mirror and see my reflection. You saying that your horribly addicted implies that your special and whilst you think that, you will forever push water up hill.

Tske care Toad, dont beat your self up and either rivet...... or breathe! The choice is yours...

ps..... if your Mrs had mood gambling orientated mood swings like you, would you stick around? Would she be the Mrs you met?

The trouble is Paul that your almost looking at clearing your debt as a green light to gamble again and that's not healthy buddy , as much as you say your not in debt and your not going to borrow it's so easy to slip back in to old practices!

Thankyou Alan and Volcano,

Both excellent points and I appreciate your help. Money isn't everything but for years i used to stay awake worrying about paying bills. I borrowed 50k on payday loans. I have to agree with Alan that it's easy to slip back into old ways.

Volcano i agree my wife liked me when we met, but not for my money. Hopefully i can see the light as Alan says.

Toad.

Good morning,

On the early bus for work. Gives me a chance to go for a coffee and relax before work.

Can I just say. I am sick sore and tired of throwing my money at the bookies and barely getting a sweat. I am sick, sore and tired of it........

Today I won't gamble. I have £3 in so will get a coffee with that. I am meeting my sister tomorrow for lunch.

I go to Spain next month with mates. I intend having a few beers.

Payday is wednesday night. I am coming 41 now. I need to learn from my mistakes.

I have made a decision on my gambling. I am now going to record what i spend and what I win. I am setting a limit of ВЈ5 on wed lotto and ВЈ5 saturdays. That's £500 a year which is plenty. At the minute though i'm taking it one day at a time.

Hopefully tomorrow brings a brighter day for me and each one of us.

I have a dream............

Toad.

Hi fokes,

Quick update.

I had a nice coffee in the turfs. It's so cold outside. Not in the turfs ohhh no. The punters pay for the heating. It was nice and warm. I drank my coffee and left. Another good day. No bets today!

Happy Toad.

Good for you Paul but your still playing with fire buddy ! Stay safe my friend !

Hi Toad,

Good luck with your decision to keep gambling. Take care and all the best. Tri

Martin Luther King had a dream also........... And no guess's what happemed to him!

Day 2 tomorrow and thats all you can do.....

Hello Folks,

I have had a think about things tonight. I realise I can't do the lotto as it's gambling. I need to quit everything. No gambling from tomorrow.

Tomorrow is day 1.

Wish me luck.

PS lost £15 in turfs tonight. What a fool!

Toad.

Good morning,

On the bus heading to work for another day. Big meeting today with possible moves. I hope i stay were i am. I have been there 15 years and i am happy with my team at the minute.

There are times in life were we have to step out of ourselves and look at what is good and bad.

I can see from my posts that I talk alot of what i will do and i do the opposite. In other words i'm talking the talk and not walking the walk.

Last night i turned ВЈ20 into £100. Could i walk away - No!!

I left with a fiver for a KFC.

I need to take it one day at a time.

Today I am meeting my sister for lunch. I have £20 in for that.

I get paid tonight. I will wire my wages to my wife. It's likely with my state of mind that i could quite easily do my wages in and more. It is vital for my sanity that i put a major block in place tonight.

I need to try harder. Come on toad lets leap over the turfs hurdles. Hop onto the lily pad safe from predators. Come on toad. Your a green mean fighting machine.....

Get in there!!!

Toad.

Morning toads and tadpoles,

I'm feeling good today. Yippee.

I wish you all a great dayski.

Before i go here's a joke to make you laugh.

Q) why did the toad feel lonely?
A) Because he was newt to the area.

Toad.

Important update.

Toad has booked a half day for drinks today. Yeah!!!!

Toad works hard and plays hard. So put your hands, paws or claws together and wish toad a great day.

I thankyou.

Thanks for the update...

I'm sure that will make us all rest easy...

Enjoy your half day